Born into false hope “you’ll be loved” they said but when school started I hid in my bed crying tears that said a thousand words, all gone unheard. Bullies would call me names and watch as my life force and positivity slowly drained, and they could see I was hurting but they just kept wording all the different ways I was weird and as I cried for mercy they all sneered “you’ll never amount to anything”. But they were wrong as I grew up I built walls and a single exit door, giving every friend a late slip for not showing up to my house or parties. Marking every positive person as tardy. I let myself out into the cold long hallway to escape if for a moment until a teacher came by and marched me back into the class where everyone stared at me. I was the target of their arrows, a defenceless piece of paper that was used for practise then thrown away never to see the light of day that was friendship and in a way, I expected it. They put thoughts into my head which made me dread looking into the mirror at my distorted tried reflection, sick of being used for protection against rejection of the ones who caused me pain, I knew their insults by name. I can recall admitting to my crush that they were the only one I ever loved and trusted only to be smashed into a myriad of rusted pieces never wanted to look back. I gave up on love thinking that every man or woman I ever loved would tear me up. Instead of sharing my thoughts or opinions I kept them inside my head only having thoughts wishing that I was dead, I hated myself for just lying in bed and letting them get to me “there only words” they would say but no they weren’t they were bullets each one piecing my heart crippling it every time they opened their mouths but instead of buying a bullet proof vest I just excepted that I was going to be shot down every time I dare spread my wings and try to escape from all the hate that piled on me like a slave being forced to carry heavy boulders, I carried on because I knew the consequences for opening my mouth to defend myself. They would whip me with their tongues of razorblades that left no marks but on the inside, I was damaged beyond repair. I felt like I was being lashed with metal over my soul and self-esteem and it seemed to not affect me anymore. My skin was leather as I swayed away into darkness still being able to taste the hate and the thousands of eyes starring at me, digging into me like I was a Christmas turkey being given to people who hadn’t eaten in years. When darkness came I was relieved as I could make new stars and join them together. Dancing on each line like I was a super star, the huge empty space cheering my name. I had so many new stars come each night it was a sight that only I could witness and the beauty that I wish I had was just for my eyes to stare up at. My friend sleep would come then and take me off to a world where everyone was equal and nobody was mistreated. The hurtful things that fell upon my ears were forgotten until daybreak where I would have to wake and take the pain again for one whole day. But hey there’s only one thing I can say “that’s life”.