I've always been lonely.

No, seriously. Always. My mother always was never supportive of me being a tomboy and not her girly daughter she always wanted. But that's not what I'm trying to explain.  

My name is Alex. My mother and I were never close. Like when I was 4, she would always drink and drink and do drugs. Until that was her death. That story is pretty hard for me to explain since even though we were never close, I still thought of her as my mom.

I never had siblings nor anyone that was related to us that was near where we lived. My family comes from Spain and my mom was the only one that emigrated to the United States:  more specifically to Pennsylvania. 

What's coming up next is dark and hard for me to open up about. A little bit after my 5th birthday, my mom overdosed on some drugs a lot worse than other days. I was traumatized by the doctors running frantically to save her. 

But It didn't work.