There I sat, looking at her beautiful coffee colored eyes... wishing that she'd forgive me, wishing for her to look at my eyes and tell me that she still feels love for me... because I know she does. I know she loves me, I know she's urging, holding back from coming to me.
Why does it hurt so much? Why can't it be easy? Why? WHY?! If it's... all I ask... all I want... it's what I want...
She looked at my eyes, I urgently looked away while hiding my vulnerable blushing.
"Stupid asshole" I told myself. I can't bare but want her... it's not easy having to forget everything, and move on with my life. My hands are tide, my heart is locked, my pain is burning...
All I want is her, ALL I ask is her... because that's all I want... I wanna grab her hand, and tell her EVERYTHING. But I'm such a coward, I'm afraid... of ruining our small friendship.
Watching her move on is just so hard... I'm missing her, what the hell did I do to lose her?
I've been messing with someone else... thinking I want it, but It's the complete opposite... I don't want anyone new looking at my eyes like she used to, I don't want anybody grabbing my hand, nor stroking my hair. I want her, and only HER.
I saved her letters, I saved her tiniest details. And just that... gives me goosebumps, just that makes my heart warm inside, just that makes me die a little more everyday, and just THAT tears up my heart.
"I "broke" her heart... but how though? How is it that I broke it? I didn't even get a chance to speak from the heart, I love her... I want her... and yet... I can't say anything... I'm broke, dead... all I ask... is to be able to express myself... now can I?" I told my friend, she looked at me... knowing that not even the best advice giver could give THIS an advice.