Chapter 1 Complete
Jun 25, 2024
After a rough week, Valerie takes a trip to Lucidia with a friend. Unaware of the Horrors that await them.
Eldritch Troubadour
Top comment
I think the world has a lot of potential, with many interesting details and amazing designs all around.
But the pacing feels very rushed, with the change in scenes of particular note. They feel very abrupt, making it a jarring experience.
The dialogue also feels a bit stiff, like every character speaks as if reciting lines from a play, rather than feel natural.
But the biggest issue in my eyes are the action scenes. TO me they felt very confusing and hard to follow. For example, in the first one between Val and the dolls, their similar designs made it very hard to folllow who they were, not to mention what order of panels to go through.
All of this is, of course, my subjective opinion. But I believe that straightening those areas could make the reading experience much better for future readers.
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