Amy Carena Allard was really pretty, I'm not sure why I like her. I’m not the type to be drawn to looks. There was just something about this one girl in particular; I couldn’t really explain it. She tends to push me away, but we almost always cross paths no matter what. She's way out of my league, and I think we both know that, but I just can't help but follow her 'til the end of time.

I always wondered what was going on inside that head of hers. What does she really think of me? We're not close friends, I don't even know if she sees me as a friend or even an acquaintance. It could be infatuation. Not only is she pretty, but a good singer too. She’s not afraid to be herself, is that why I like her? I ask myself. Something about overhearing a conversation between her and her friends about her having not dated anyone before. I overhear things like how she's still figuring out her sexuality, but she did mention she was sapphic. That was it for me, I knew it wasn’t meant to be from that moment on. I am not a girl, I’ve never even considered myself one. Amy Carena Allard wants nothing to do with me. 

I don't talk to her that much really, our longest conversation went a little something like this:

"Hey, wanna read a song I wrote?" I asked.

"Uh, sure."

 I showed her the song but didn't know if she actually read it.

"I wanna know what you thought—"

Then a friend of hers just pulled her away from me.

"...of it." I finished my sentence but I know she probably didn't hear me. Amy Carena will never know that that song was about her.

Since then, I barely talked to her again. The only time I'd really have to talk to her is when she and I would be forced to be shoulder partners in class.

I wanna at least try to be friends with her and maybe we'll get closer over time, but I don't know how to even start that conversation with her. I can't really just ask to be friends with people nowadays, It's just not how it works. Amy even said it herself, “Dude, you can’t just ask to be friends. You need to start with little interactions first.”

It was Sunday morning, ten o’clock in the morning, Amy Carena was in the next pew over with her family. I’ve never seen her attend church before, especially not the same church that I attend with my family. The service ended at around noon and as I was walking out ahead of my family, there she was. Our eyes met and she had this irritated look on her face. I knew it was because of me, Amy never would’ve thought of seeing me here. I like to think it’s fate that we somehow always run into each other no matter what, but Amy Carena thinks this is all just one big coincidence. I used to be all over her last year, now I’m not even trying to cross paths with her and we still somehow do. Whenever I’m in the hallways I’m almost always accidentally eavesdropping on her and a friend’s conversation, in Chemistry class we are almost always partnered up despite never interacting once out of that, and somehow, out of seven school periods, we have 6 of them together. First period is the hour of the day when I don’t fear accidentally meeting eyes with Amy Carena, Sunday service was an entire day where I’m surrounded by people my age without Amy Carena. Unfortunately, I overheard her parents saying that they’d like to keep going to this church.

After today I dread going back to school the next day, fearing a confrontation from Amy Carena, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I went outside to skate and unwind, I’m not any good but I’m comfortable enough to just cruise around wherever and occasionally practice my ollies on smooth ground. I decided to go to a different neighborhood to skate around today, the same distance as all the other neighborhoods I usually go to. I skated around for quite some time until I found a bench to rest and drink my water. I sat down and as I was taking a sip from my water bottle, a U-Haul truck stopped two houses down across the street from the bench I was sitting at towards my right. You’ll never guess who came running out the house. Mrs. Allard. Mother of Amy Carena Allard. This was my queue to just skate in my own neighborhood before Amy Carena thinks I’m stalking her, but something was stopping me. I tried to look more carefully to see if I was really seeing Mrs. Allard or just some Asian lady, and unfortunately my eyes did not deceive me because I also saw Mr. Allard come running out the door. Mr. and Mrs. Allard halted for a second then called out to, I’m assuming, Amy Carena. Finally, Amy Carena is the last Allard to come out the door and this was when I finally decided to leave and never come back to this neighborhood again. I’ll just find a better but farther neighborhood to skate at.