"If I had to marry someone I would marry you." Erik's voice is tinged with dark sadness as he speaks these words into the dead of the night. We are standing in front of the great stone doors of Erik's vast house. 

"We could get married, you know, if that's what you want to do." My reply is soft and secretive, and only a bit chiding. 

"You know that's not what I want, Cassie."

"I know. You're my best friend. And I don't want anything to get in the way of that. Not even romance."

"Thanks, Cassie. I wish there was something I could give you, to show you how much you mean to me." 

"Just your presence beside me is enough." We can barely see each other in the darkness that envelops us like a cloak. We can only see the soft silhouettes of each other. We can only hear each other's barely audible voices. We can only feel each other's hands as we cling on to each other. 

There is too much danger here, right now, all around us. Even though Erik's parents are fast asleep. Even though my parents are five houses over. Even though we will not get caught. Far too much is at stake here. We have to be quiet.

"I love you," Erik whispers to me, his breath close to my ear. "I love you. But I'm not in love with you." 

"I'm not in love with you either. But I need you." My voice is barely there. Yet it is more real, more tangible, more concrete than most things I've heard in my life. 

"I'll be there for you as much as I can be," Erik whispers to me. "I'll try to help you with anything I can. If you ever need anyone, if you ever need anything, you can come to me."

"You can come to me as well." 

"I love you."

"I love you too. You know, we still have a chance. We can back out now if you want to. We can go back to your room. Go sleep in your bed. Go back to pretending to be lovers. And if - when - your parents want us to make kids, I can just go get them from someone else and pretend they're yours. We can even raise them together."

"That would be sweet, Cassie. It really would. But you know we can't. You know we have obligations." There's something faintly wistful in Erik's voice. But more than that, there is something intensely loving. Not loving only towards me. Loving towards the whole world. 

"You're right, Erik. We have to save the world." There is something softly determined in my words. There is something hotly smouldering. 

"Do you want to do it, Cassie?" I can feel threads of fear laced through the way he said that. Not fear for himself. Fear for me. But I won't let him let that fear get the best of him. We have to do what we have to do. 

"Erik. We have to. Do you want the empire to die or not?"

"I do. Cassie, believe me, I do. More than life itself. More than my life. But I can't help but wonder. Is your life worth it?"

"I'll be the one who decides if my life is worth it or not. Not you. And of course it's worth it. It has to be. You know just as well as I do how-" my voice breaks just a bit a I gather my thoughts and collect myself, "you know how so, so many people are suffering. All over the Karnos. You can't put my life, my cushy, privileged life where I've had whatever I wanted as long as I fit into my role, you can't put that over the lives of so many people who are actually suffering."

"I know. I know. I can't. We can't. We have to think of everyone. Of the future. Of the big picture. I'm just scared."

"That's understandable. It perfectly is. But think of it this way. I'll be with you, for as long as I can be. When we die we will die together. Or very nearly together. And we will die fighting."

"It's funny," Erik brings our hands up towards his chest, "my parents alway taught me to be brave. They said I might have to fight in a war one day. They never realized I was a coward at heart. And they never thought I'd listen to them, technically, but in this way."

"You're not a coward, Erik."

"But I'm so scared." 

"But you're powering through the fear. You're getting through it. And you're standing up."

"You're so much braver than me though."

"Maybe that's out of spite. The girl is always supposed to play the part of the damsel in distress, the maiden who needs saving. And I'm tired of that. I don't want to be that. I'm not that."

"We're both of us people that our society doesn't want us to be."

"You're right. But maybe that's why we can see through society's lies."

"Maybe. Anyways, we should get going. It's almost one am."

"You're right."

We ease open the door, ever so slowly so as not to make any sounds that could possibly alert Erik's parents. Finally, there is a sliver of opening large enough for us to squeeze through. Without our coats on, we slip into the frigid air of the night, across the threshold and into the world. We make sure to softly, gently ease the door closed behind us. 

All around us there are houses with their windows curtained and closed against the cold. There are glowing strings of light illuminating the streets in neat rows. There are fake plants softly glowing neon in the darkness. It's eerie. But we do not notice it. 

Hand in hand, we walk shivering down the the large streets, cars sweeping silently by us, glowing neon. Anyone would think that we're a pair of young lovers, out for a nighttime tryst, and that lie gives us protection as we make our way toward the dark woods that loom thickly over the town. 

The town's residents hate the woods. They keep talking about how they need to be cut down. But somehow no-one seems to be able to find the courage to start the sawers running. The Forest still stands. It still glares down anyone who dares to get too close to it. It is still there, silent and loud and lively and serene and brave against everything the town is and is not. 

Even two decades ago there would be no question as to whether to cut down the forest or not. Even two decades ago trees were felled and grasses were burned and permafrost was thawed in order to tame the wild lands, in order to make the empire more conquered. 

But now, now people are afraid. There is still the same destructive hatred in their hearts towards all things wild and free. But a fear has settled there. The type of fear they cannot name, cannot place. 

I think they finally feel the empire crumbling away underneath them. 

[scene continued in next part]