“You know why I am here” she said softly.
Of course I knew. Since the beginning of the scholar year, her friends have been pestering me, laughing annoyingly every time I walked in front of them, and nudging her while pointing at me. It has been so annoying I have been quite close of losing my patience and shout at them to just leave me alone. And this girl that was in front of me was not better: she had discovered my secret spot in the library, in the last aisle. That place that I always went after school to just stay alone and far away from everyone, anything to just stay away from my home. And this girl had dared to come to the library and spy on me the entire week. My patience was just about to end with her too, when she finally came towards me and told me she had something to say.
“Your friends have made it annoyingly clear.” I answered coldly. We were in one of the school yards, as I have told her we shouldn’t talk in the library. The yard was at the back of the school, so we were alone, far from the views of curious students.
Her resolution faltered for a moment with my cold words.
“They are not my friends.” She mustered under her breath.
That drawn my attention, and so I looked at her for the first time. A real look. She was quite beautiful, with pale skin, delicate features and rosy lips. I may have liked her a long time ago, when I still believed in people. Not anymore, though.
I knew some of my schoolmates liked her for her looks. They of course had also noticed the unwanted attention I had been receiving, and were eager to share their opinion. “You should go out with her. She is a quiet one, so you know what that means” one of the guys have told me, looking at me suggestively. And then, lowering his voice, he had added: “The quiet ones are the most easy to get to bed.”
I had wanted to hit him after that.
“I am sorry for the troubles I have caused you”, she continued. Her blue eyes were soft and sorry, and yet seemed full of resolution. “That is also the reason why I wanted to tell you now, directly. I hope this will make them leave you alone.”
“Sure this is not so they will leave you alone?” I asked. People don’t do things for others unless they get something from it. I had learned that the hard way.
“Oh, I am sure they will find some other reason to tease me soon.” She said trying to seem nonchalantly, but her eyes said something different. They seemed sad. “So please, don’t think I do this for myself. I…” she doubted for a second. “I would rather have waited but that is impossible now. So… Let me tell you directly: I really like you.”
Her face was red and her eyes weren’t looking at me. She was so nervous, so hopeful. So innocent. She was all I was not. My soul was so dark, so tainted, so damaged.
“Why do you like me? You don’t even know me” I asked her. Why someone like you would like someone like me, is what I really wanted to ask.
She blushed harder.
“I do know some things. I… it is hard to describe, and I know it is hard to understand. But could you please just give me an opportunity? Let me be your friend. I think we are quite similar and that we could really get along.”
I have never talked to her before. I have, of course, heard about her: Sofía Lorenz, the only daughter of a rich successful family. She had never needed anything in her life, and from her looks, nothing bad had ever happened to her. She exuded innocence. And she, this little girl said we could get along? I almost laughed. But then I felt that I needed to shatter her illusions. To show her how horrible the world really is, and how horrible I really am.