I wonder what will happen..? Would I be able to feel?

Kai stood on the edge of the road, facing other students and pedestrians that were making for the crossing at the busy main road. He could tell they were from Middle School as he was but there was so many in the city, he couldn’t figure out which school it was. However his heartbeat was speeding so fast that he couldn’t focus properly as well as the powerful sunlight obstructing his eyesight. He stood quietly but weakly among the tall adults that surround his short height with his black hair iconically spiky and childish.

He estimates the speed of the traffic to be on average of 60 mph and that his chance of living at that speed would be slimmer. He didn't want to leave this world, he just to feel something; for so long his heart ticked a flat line of absent emotions and longer it went on the more he would lash out. He would feel all those frightened eyes if he were to step out and feel them impose on his quiet existence; he wants them to remember him, remember that boy who felt so cut off from himself that he would even think about endangering his own life. He had never contemplated the thought before but as pressures began to raise the transition of teenagehood and on coming dark anniversaries, he began to delve deep into his hidden thoughts.

His feet scuffle slightly forwards.

If his mother was here, she would know what to say to bring the warmth within his heart, she would bring back the smile. If his best friend, Lo, was around, she would have given him an earful for even given up. She would tell him that life is always worth living, just fight for what you want. But they weren't here and it's been four years.

He looks at the speeding cars and notice they were slowing down. He had to move if he was going to stay true to his word but he couldn't move. What if this was all a horrid nightmare and he was in fact still asleep. Would the impact of a car awaken him? Could there be a worried mother beyond there. Tears were falling. He wanted his mother. He wanted her to hold him one more time. So he steps out.

People began to shout to him as he began to step out into the road, crossing on lane to the next where no cars were currently in. One however was unable to slow down, directing towards him, afraid to swerve and hit the masses. Kai wipes his tears, asking for his mother to come back, but hands of courageous people grab a hold of him and pull back to the curb, falling awkwardly in a mix up of legs. He tumbles into the arms of worried overlookers as they hold tightly to him, incasing him in a cocoon of kindness.

Across the street, relieved people applaud and cheer whilst one male student stares in amazement. His own thoughts were also in a dark place but watch Kai made him realise his mistake.