What Am I?

Ever since I could remember, I have always wanted to wear girly stuff. Before we get into my story, my name is Elijah Wells but depending on how I feel I also go by Ellie, I’m 22 and that’s for those that are curious about my age. Since I was little my mom would buy me boys' clothes and make me cut my hair in such a way as though to emphasize that I was really a boy which on thinking back now, maybe her woman’s instinct was telling her that I was not the son that she wanted, but who knows this is just a hypothesis on my part.

Every time I had to put on my clothes I would feel myself cringe. It was as if I was asked to put on someone else’s clothes. Yes, I know it sounds weird but that’s how I felt whenever I was made to wear them. My mom didn’t know this but when I got to middle school I stole like one or two of her lipsticks and mascara and applied them to my face at night when everyone had gone to bed. There were times I asked myself if I was born in the wrong body; I did read somewhere, but I don’t know how true it is that a baby can show up as male on the ultrasound only to be born as a female due to hormonal influences from the mother. 

Call me crazy but I wish that was true so that at least I can with pride puff my chest out to say that I really was supposed to be born a girl but mother nature messed up big time and made me a boy.