"I can't remember anything from that night." I told my therapist like I do every time she tries to get me to spill the beans. By now I thought she would get that I don't want to talk about it but she keeps asking. I'll never tell though, I promised I wouldn't. So I won't. But I will tell you.

Everything that night was really blurry I think I might have had too much to drink.

 As I was walking out of the door of the party I saw her fall. Right in front of me was my best friend's body lying on the porch all twisted up with her glossed over eyes staring at me. Suddenly everyone around me was screaming but I just keep staring at her. I think I was in shock cause until the police got there did I start stumbling backward turn around and start puking everywhere.

My mom came to get me a couple of hours later so the police could question me but the whole time they were asking me questions I was just looking ahead with an expressionless face. 

Finally, they got the drift and said "Your free to go but you'll have to come back another time to answer questions" 

As I was walking out of the department I heard them whisper to my mom and say "He appears to be in shock. Which is perfectly normal but you should probably make him go to a therapist or he could end up like his friend (we've seen it happen before) and take him to the hospital to get cheeked up just in case too."

When I finally stepped outside I collapsed onto my knees and burst into tears. The police must have told her to let me cry it out because I was out there for nearly an hour before I started walking to the car. 

When my mom finally got in, we drove in silence to the hospital, got the okay from the doctor and drove home in silence where I went up to my room for the rest of the night.