“Jiyuru,” my father growled.

Rigid, I turned to him, risking a glance at his face.

His angry eyes assured me I wouldn’t escape unscathed.

“Your teacher called,” he said, brandishing his whip.

I flinched, and he laughed.

“‘Your son was late today,’ she said. ‘Tell him to do better,’ she said.” He tilted his head to the side. “What do you have to say to that?”

“I-I’m sorry, Father. I’ll do better tomorrow!” I continued to shrink away, but he kept coming closer.

“Of course you will. You have no choice. When I’m done with you, I shouldn’t be receiving anymore calls from the teacher…right?”

“...Yes, Father.”

“Good. Now scream for me, will you?”

~.~

After cleaning up the blood on the floor, I quickly went to my room before he decided to punish me more. I treated my wounds, then went to bed, setting my alarm thirty minutes earlier.

I woke up, showered, redressed my wounds, then heaved my backpack onto my shoulders, ignoring the pain and making it to school barely five minutes before the bell rang. It seemed these days that the kids in my class all arrived early just so they could ridicule me. I tugged my oversized sleeves down further, hiding my raw wrists.

“There he is! The emo rich kid we’ve all been waiting for,” one of the kids sneered. “You look like you got dragged through a dumpster.”

Most of the class snickered.

“Why do you even bother coming to school? Go jump off a building or something.”

The class erupted into laughter at that.

Jumping off a roof wouldn’t change anything. With my luck, I’d survive.

Mutely, I took my seat. Thus began the school day, full of students glaring at me, telling me off, and wishing me harm in general.

I supposed I deserved it.

From school, I stopped by the cafe, meeting my sister…though she didn’t know we were related.

“Jiyuru! I already ordered your food. Sit, sit.”

“Hey, Kailee.” I took the seat across from her.

My mom and sister left my father, my older brother, and me around eight years ago, when I was eight, she was five, and our brother Imoha was thirteen. She didn’t want Kailee to grow up around us, so she took her and moved away. I had met Kailee by accident when I unintentionally scared away a bunch of men who were harassing her at night. Because she made me walk her home, I learned where my mother lived. We ran into each other again the next day, and though I expected her to ignore me upon seeing me in daylight, she still talked to me.

I quietly sighed as she told me about her day, comparing us once again.

We both had long black hair, but I hid my face with mine, while hers was proudly pushed back. We both wore black clothes, but she wore short sleeves as I hid my shameful body with baggy clothes unfit for the hot suns. She held her head high, while I could barely stand to meet someone’s eyes.

I wish I could be as brave as you.

“Jiyuru, you okay? You listening?”

“Oh, sorry. I spaced out for a minute.”

“Ah, it’s fine. I was just saying Mom wants to meet this guy I’ve been ‘seeing.’” She then asked in a teasing voice, “What do you think? Should I bring her?”

I laughed nervously. “I don’t think she’d wanna meet me…”

She raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. “Anyways, Jiyuru, I have to go feed the class pet. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you.”

She began to take out money to pay, but I stopped her. “Don’t worry about it, Kai. I’ll take care of it.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know how much I owe you at this point? I will treat you to something one of these days, and you can’t refuse.”

I smiled, simply saying, “Mhm.”

“How noncommittal of you.” She checked her watch, suddenly becoming antsy. “Okay, now I really have to run. Catch you on the flip side!”

I waved as she jogged away, then picked myself up and headed home.

On the way home, I ran into Marcus. He was an okay guy at school. We never talked, but he never went out of his way to make trouble for me. His sun-colored hair and green eyes stood in contrast to his dark skin, yet he was arguably one of the most handsome guys at school. 

He…would never notice someone like me.

“Hey, Jiyuru, right?”

Startled, I froze in my tracks, stiffly turning around.

“Um…yes?”

“Nothing really. I never get a chance to talk to you though, so I thought I might say hi.”

With his always expressionless face and flat tone, it was constantly hard to tell whether or not he was being serious.

“Well…hi then?”

Marcus smiled. “Hi, Jiyuru. I’ll be seeing you around, yeah?”

“Sure. S-See you.”

Humming to himself, he continued on his way.

What was that all about?

I quickly made my way home, only to be greeted with silence and a letter on the table. It was from Imoha, full of incoherent sentences strung together in a drunk haze.

The point was clear though -- he was leaving.

I stood rooted in my spot, my breaths becoming faster as I wondered what to do with the letter.

Maybe Imo will come back? But if he doesn’t, Father will surely be upset. If he sees the letter, there’s no telling what will happen. If I hide it and he finds out, what will he do to me?

No, I couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t be selfish. No matter what happened to me, my father deserved to know of his son’s disappearance. 

I left it on the table for my father to see.

Sighing, I finished up the homework I didn’t complete at school, made lunch, and cleaned the house before going to bed early. 

~.~

“JIYURU,” my father roared, banging on my door before barging in, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt. “Do you know where your brother is?”

“N-no, I don’t.”

“Don’t lie to me, boy. You’re the only one who knows where he could be.” He raised his hand to slap me.

“I promise I don’t know where he is! He didn’t tell me anything! He was gone by the time I got back.”

My hurried confession didn’t stop him from striking me across the face.

“You hear anything from him or about him, you tell me. Immediately.” 

“Yes, Father.”

He let go of me, walking out of my room and slamming the door without another word.

My face stung, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t hide with makeup. I crawled back into my bed, trying to fall asleep and forget about the day.

~.~

<Jiyuru’s Journal>

Today was a blur. It feels like I can’t please anyone, not even my own father. What can I do to make him happy? He always seems stressed when he hits me. Why is he so stressed? I wish I knew what I was doing wrong so I could fix it. And why did Imo leave? Maybe it’s because Father never pays him any attention? I hope he’s okay. But on the bright side, Father didn’t go over the edge when he found out Imo left! Is that a good sign? Is he…changing?