Sometimes I think, "what is my purpose?"

Why am I here? Would people actually mind if I faded away?

These voices occur when I least expect it.

 last week, my teacher gave me money to buy food cause I had not eaten all day

So, I wrote her a thank you letter, saying how much I appreciated it and how much I did not deserve such acts of kindness.

So the next day things went down hill in my emotions.

My teacher came up to me at lunch the next day saying " Do not ever say you do not deserve anything, you deserve everything." 

Of course all I did was smile and say thank you.

pauses

" you do not deserve anything," my emotions and brain said, "No one really cares".

I panic, and run to the bathroom, hiding in the big stall.

several other people are in there, I try my best to not make a big scene.

So, I was in there hyperventilating, then the floor became black and fuzzy.

I squatted and put my head on the wall, crying.

I heard the bell, and went into Spanish class. 

She asked us what we were feeling I answered

"Estoy Deprimedo"(I'm depressed).

The teacher looked sad and asked me I replied with only a small sad smile.

Later at the end of class she comes up to me and asks "Are you ok?"

Instead of answering correctly, I break down crying. She hugs me and says

" its ok, it will pass, I love you."

My heart felt like it was breaking slowly after she said that. 

Because how can I mean so much when I feel useless?