White room
Hi. I’m Diane! Hi, I'm Diane. And Diane is talking to the mirror again.
” Diane, you are going to be late!
-I'm going ma!
Here we go again. An average person, nothing different, a B- or a C+, a typical 18 years old girl. Today I'm starting my freshman year of college, and I'm just underscored by my thoughts, starting all over again.
I always try to follow a system of rules.
Number one: make ‘’friends’’
Number two: Get to know your teachers
Three: remember your classes
And number four: and more importantly, don't get attached to people,
They are going to leave you anyways.
Since I was little, I learned that when you love something so much, it can leave, so it is better not to get attached to nobody. I told myself that,
; I'm smarter than this.
[On her way to school]
[august 26, 20o2]
[sunny and warm, not too hot, not cool]
[look at the enormous building in from of her]
‘’Excuse Me, what time is it?’’ (a girl that was so tall that was incredible, she was like 6.2 or something. I have never seen a girl that tall, and everyone is taller than me, but damm)
‘’Excuse Me,’’ she says, again, I was lost
-damn, you are tall (I just realized what I said)….. Oh, I'm sorry
Is 2:30
She laughs -’’ I'm used to this, don't worry.‘’
We talk for a while
(At least I’m good at making random conversations)
(And there it is, another check on my list, make a friend that is going to forget about you.)
Tall girl- you are funny! What room?... Your class?
- I'm going...
“room 230” (both of us says at the same time)
Tall girl- I saw it on your paper
We walk to the class; we keep talking (she is lovely), I thought. We went to class, and a lot of things are different here, the teachers are call professors, everyone looks old and mature like they have a mission in life. I’m here like ‘’ una loca’’ is funny; I try to stay positive because I don't even know what to do with my life now, imagine in 5 years.
(my head hurts) …...
[Walking home],
( sometimes I enjoy being by myself, silence is something that I learned to appreciate with time)
I'm home!
- welcome, how was school?
-good ma!
- you want something to eat?
My mom is the most important person in my life. When my father left, she was unhappy but hid it well. I was sorrowful as well but didn’t want to add on more problems to her already dejected state. If I'm honest she is the reason I am who I am today
-no Gracias ma.
(I'm sooo tired and full of thoughts that I don't want to have) everything is in my head!!!!!
futute ,present and the Hunting past!!
[walk up stairs]
[around white walls and some pictures when “I was younger, making me want to back to those days”]
-my bed, my beautiful bed.
I love my bed, but I wouldn't say I can sleep in it.
Every night I have nightmares that make me wake up feeling heavy and sweating, I’m scared to go to sleep.
[Time runs🕘🕝]
(my body is giving up, I keep fighting, but is a lost case)
I need to sleep......
[friday morning, 6:30 am]
The sun? (I forgot to close the curtains)
My body feels heavier than usual.
-hhhhh~what time is it?
My body is heavy.
I can't breathe.
Something is suffocating me.
Something is grabbing my heart and squeezing it with all his might, like a compression machine. I feel like something is dripping from my back.
(I look around)
Blood, blood is coming from my back, that means that I'm dead?
why is this
happening?, I don’t understand.
[looks around again]
everything is white,
but what were those things on the floor,
They look familiar,
this can't be a dream
[takes a closer look]
Feathers??.
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