What do people usually do to cope after being through so much shit? And by so much shit, I mean: getting kicked out of your company for being gay because apparently the higher-ups you work for are a bunch of old, crusty homophobes; and being dumped by your boyfriend with the good ol' it's not you, it's me where it's come to a point you start to ponder that maybe the problem is you.
I'm not really sure how to deal with both the unemployment and my relationship status going from in a relationship to single. I don't really want to make bad decisions, but I also don't want to just sit here and stare blankly at my ceiling wondering what have I done wrong to deserve this.
So, I installed Grindr.
Yes, I know. Shocker. A gay man who doesn't have Grindr on his phone. I'm not really the hook-up type of guy because the thought of having sex with random strangers scares me. And besides, call me old-fashioned, but I only want to do it with someone I like who also likes me back. Although, tonight can be an exception. I don't see how this is a bad idea. What could go wrong, anyway?
As soon as I'm done setting up my profile and keying in my preference, a bunch of profiles fills the screen of my phone. This is overwhelming. There are a lot of questions going around my head right now. Who are serial killers here? Which one of them is using another person's photo to steal money from their next victim?
I notice that my inbox has five unread messages.
Headless Torso #1 sent me a photo of his bulge.
Headless Torso #2 sent me a butt pic.
Man in Blue Speedos sent me a photo of him… wearing a pink Speedo.
Old Daddy sent me photos of the hotel he's currently staying in and is asking me if I want to experience the quote-unquote ‘best night of your life.’ I highly doubt that.
The last one was from Hot Guy in Suit and Tie who had spidermandeek as his username. Unlike the first four, there were no photos. He simply sent me a greeting. Hi. Okay, this is nice. He's starting off this conversation properly by not sending me unsolicited photos. Others may find that appealing but I don't.
Hi! Finally someone who knows how to talk
im new to this whole grindr experience so colour me surprised to discover that people just send u pics of them out of nowhere?
ur a fine piece of meat which is y they sent u nude pics, they wanna bed u asap… unless that's not u on ur pfp
I'm about to type my response but he sends another message. tho i would advise u not to put a photo with ur face in it. im p sure ur doing it to tell ppl that's u for real but it's actually more dangerous
Oh. Right. I changed my profile picture to a headless torso, just like a gazillion others, and reply back to him. thx for the tip. told u im new to this Grindr thing. im 25 but I act like a total hag around this thing.
ur welcome. also i hope u don't mind me asking but would u wanna come over my place? or could i come over to ur place? if that's ok w u I wait for a few seconds, watching the dots of the typing indicator appear and disappear. im kinda lonely rn
That last message obviously translates to ‘I'm bored and I want to fuck’ and who am I to refuse the invitation? This guy has been nice to me so far, we're obviously in the same building, and I'm feeling pretty lonely as well, he ain't special. This is what we both need. A stress reliever.
I send him a quick reply telling him to send me his apartment number before ungluing myself from my couch and shuffling through my wardrobe to find clothes that are a perfect balance of sexy and casual, an ensemble that screams Let's get it on but also Let's have some small talk first. In the end, I settled for a plain black tank top and gray sweatpants—comfy to wear and easy to take off once we get down to business.