"So... see you tomorrow," I waved goodbye.
"Take care," you smiled back and climbed up the overpass. Your short legs reaching one landing at a time.
We were only 10.
At the end of the day, we stand there on the pavement.
I would wave goodbye and see you run up those flights of stairs. It will always be like this I told myself.
Today, 5 years later, I stood underneath the shade of a beauty store you frequented. You came out holding a small paper bag filled with face masks. That clear skin you always wanted was at the palm of your hands, you told me.
I then walked you to the edge of the road. "Do we have assignments for tomorrow?"
"No"
"Yes! See you!" you said hauling your huge backpack up the overpass. I could see you catch your breath as you reached the top. Sometimes, I would wait for you to get to the other side and wave.
I miss the days.
We were about to graduate from junior high. Your mother wouldn't stop crying as I rushed into the emergency room. My face was pale and cold sweat ran down my back. The accident robbed you of your legs.
You would never walk without crutches again.
What was most important was that you were alive. Breathing. I held you tightly as tears ran down our eyes and soaked our clothes. I told myself, I would carry you anywhere you wanted to go.
Since that day you would turn to me once we reach the overpass. You would smile. It always looked like you were sorry, ashamed, and pitied. You were never a burden, you were my friend.
I carried you on my back, climbed the frighteningly steep stairs, and across as the cars and jeeps rushed below. One night, after finishing a project, you whispered into my ear as I held you on my arms.
"I never told you that I was always nervous to cross here. No matter how many years, my legs would always wobble and I'd run as fast as I can to the other side"
"Really?"
"I sometimes imagine getting caught during an earthquake while walking here. I could see the bridge breaking and falling down on the cars below. One of my dark fears"
"I never knew that."
"Well, now you do. Besides, with you here, it isn't so scary anymore."
Years flew by. We were in college now. I stayed back home in a local school. I still carried you over the bridge. But it wasn't the same.
For reasons I didn't know, you grew distant. We barely talk no matter how much I try to reach out to you. Sometimes, you had other people carry you over There was a twinge in my chest I couldn't erase. I was scared. The more torn apart we were the more I worried. I realized my darkest fear was you drifting away from me.
But I was an idiot. I thought it was for the best. I wanted you to live your best life with new people and new experiences.
I regret everything.
The next time I saw you, you were dressed in the prettiest white gown. Only it wasn't for a wedding.
It was for a funeral.
Your mother held my hands. Her tears falling heavily against my skin. She told me it was never my fault. But I knew it was. I wasn't there for you on that day. Despite all my promises, I left you alone in the face of those steps you couldn't climb.
So you took your chances, crossed the bare asphalt road.
I blamed myself. It was only later that I felt my eyes burned and dyed red while your brother held me by the shoulders.
He told me everything. You were afraid that you were leaning on to me too much. Afraid that I wasting my time with your problems than living my life. You were ashamed that you had to always trouble me after school. You worried that I was getting tired.
No, I never was! The time we spent together was the happiest for me. The laughs we shared and the tears we shed all through these years, I cherished each and every one. I remember the days you went on diets because you thought you were getting too heavy for me to carry. I could still feel your weight on my arms as I carried you. Now I could never feel the warmth against my back or your dark eyes on mine again.
I was too late to tell you how much I loved you. All those times in between the silence, lost.
---
After you were buried, I would always cross the overpass on my way home. Until it grew lesser and lesser and lesser. But you were always there, somewhere deep inside my mind I could see you heaving up the steps, running across the other side, and waving across the road.
I miss the days.
---
It was very late. I climbed the overpass. There were no beggars tonight only littered wrappers and plastic. I always remembered that you handed your leftover snacks to the family who sat on the other side. Where are they now?
I inhaled the chilly December air. It was quiet, with no cars below. Then, I hear your voice, "When will you go?"
"I miss you"
"I know. But you need to go. A bridge is meant to be crossed not lived on."
"One day I will, but for today... let me live here with you"
I looked at your face. Somehow I could still remember the shape of your lips, the acne scars you worried over, and the eyes that disappear whenever you smile.
"So... see you tomorrow," I waved goodbye.
You shook your head.
"Take care," you smiled back and climbed down the overpass.
Comments (0)
See all