After being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder my whole life seemed to crumble and lost a lot of its "colour". I always knew that I had some kind of depression and several other mental illnesses. Doctors and even teachers told me I showed since of a BPD when I was very young and couldnt even understand what they ment. After years of running away and getting even more miserable I finally decided to talk about it and get professional help, a final diagnosis from a few specialists to ease my mind and finally fight this monster in my head. About a year of therapy and medication has now set me up with a more stable self and a plan to illustrate my disorder. In this comic I will show you some parts of myself and parts of my disease which are quite far apart. I wanna show the meaning of living this black and white life and the search for the grey in between.