I woke up early this morning as usual and it sucks. The concrete floor is cold under my feet as I slip out of bed. It’s only my third night sleeping in my dorm room and it is quite strange. I miss the feeling of my old worn out bed and plush carpet. My room at home  is still occupied by all my favorite things: my books, vinyls, photos. I try not to get sappy thinking about how different my life was a week ago, but I fail miserably.

That’s the thing with college, you expect everything to change. At least I expected to make more friends. However people are the same as they were in highschool, now just a bit more drunk. I never minded being alone anyways, It’s peaceful once you accept it. I try to keep in mind it’s only been three days. 

I quickly got dressed and ran out of my dorm to the coffee shop on campus. It’s the beginning of September so the air is warm like the last few hot ashes left over from a fire. The ground is hard and sturdy under my converse, keeping me centered with each step I take. Each dorm is caught in a dusty haze of dew, spreading through all of the thick ivy. The dreadful day ahead is hidden behind a sheen of curiosity and contentment. 

The first thing I notice when I walk into the shop is the strong eroma. The mix of cinnamon and coffee fill the air as the machines squeal while finishing brewing the newest pots. The morning felt so lovely already but the euphoria of the little store made it oh so better. 

I slowly lifted my eyes to encircle the booths and tables, curious if I knew anyone. Of course I don’t and the place is mostly empty except for a young girl who seems to be stressed out of her mind. Her hair is falling into her face and she is in a staring contest with her notebook. Then I notice a guy my age standing by the pick up counter.

Let me just start off by saying he is gorgeous. His height towers over everything around us like he is in a doll house. His hair is clearly dyed black while his eyes are a deep shade of brown, comparable to a tree’s bark. His outfit is comfortable, composed of gray tones with a hint of color here and there. However, what stands out the most is his aura which oozes confidence.

I get lost for a second looking at him, not realizing that I haven’t even begun to approach the counter to order. What was I doing again? Oh right, getting coffee. I glance down at my feet while moving forward. My glaze slowly rises again just in time to see the man wave at me. My brain stopped processing all incoming information.I lifted my hand apprehensively, giving back a small, sad excuse of a wave. If it couldn’t get any more depressing, a girl walked up from behind me and it is now clear that he was waving at her.

The sirens in my head screamed to abort. I already embarrassed myself enough but luckily they didn’t even seem to notice me. The girl smiles and punches the guy in the arm while he giggles and pulls away fast. He then hands her a coffee and they strut out of the shop smiling. 

The combination of disappointment from the last few days and a small bit of homesickness wrapped around my heart. I ordered my drink to go and left the shop as soon as possible, kissing the sweet aroma goodbye.

I deeply missed my best friend Rose. Leaving for University was beyond difficult. Our last hug stings in my mind, filling me with a sense of yearning that is nearly indescribable. I could text her right now but I am aware of the time change in california and she is most likely asleep.

I continue to wander around the empty campus, admiring the architecture and gardens. With all the loneliness I currently possess, I still find it easy to enjoy the morning ambiance in hopes that the day will only get better as more time passes. I try hard to forget the guy and my embarrassing act.