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Harry potter spin-off: draco malfoy and the refused handshake

Harry Potter spoof (with better characters)

Harry Potter spoof (with better characters)

Jul 04, 2021

Chapter One: Natsuki

“Natsuki!” Emilia Alvarado waved her arm widely and ran to jump into Natsuki’s arms.

“Hi, Mia!” Natsuki smiled and hugged her back. She then let Emilia down. “God, that doesn’t work as well anymore.” Emilia had definitely had a growth spurt.

Brie waved his hand and walked over to them. “Emi and I came together.” He turned to Emilia. “Don’t you have toffee for Suki?”

“Yeah!” Emilia thrust forward a bag of toffees. “Want to know how I made them?”

Natsuki picked up the bag and smiled. “Sure.”

Emilia grinned and started lecturing them as they walked onto the Hogwarts Express. 

“Wait, one second, did you say that toffees are better than white chocolate?” Brie asked.

“Of course, undeniably.” Emilia straightened her posture.

“That’s wrong, toffees have a dehydrating taste while white chocolate, of course, being a chocolate helps your brain and scientifically makes you happy.”

Natsuki opened a compartment for them. “I don’t consider white chocolate chocolate at all.” She smiled. “My sister calls it a disgrace to all chocolates in the world-”

“Exactly!” Mia yelled while Brie gasped.

“How dare they!” Brie crossed his arms. “I trusted Niko.”

“Can you keep it down?” 

Damn. The compartment wasn’t empty. In it was a blonde, white guy who looked like he’d dumped some olive oil into his hair.

Mia instinctively hid behind Natsuki. “Who is he?”

Natsuki turned to the guy. “Sorry to come into your compartment. I’m Natsuki!” She smiled and put out her hand to shake it.

The guy looked at her disgusted. “I’m Draco Malfoy.”

Brie snorted. “You had to say your full name? Also, weren’t your parents imperiused into working for ‘you know who’?”

Malfoy nodded.

Emilia jumped out from hiding behind Natsuki. “We have to save him! Do you see his hair? It’s styled terribly! And your name! We need to come up with a new one!”

Brie nodded vigorously. “Good idea.” He pulled out a whiteboard. “When I transitioned I had to come up with a lot of guys' names so this should be easy.”

“Blue!” Emilia shouted, pointing at him.

Natsuki grit her teeth. “I think we should stop harassing Draco.”

“I agree!” Draco glared at Mia. “Also, why did you name me Blue?”

“Your eyes are blue! It’s your defining trait. We need to work with that when I give you a makeover.” Mia began to study him when she looked at a bunch of papers scattered around him and picked one up. 

“Plan number 15 to befriend Harry Potter.” Emilia read. When Emilia and Papa (Mia’s dad), had realized that she was a witch they’d told her about wizarding shit like Harry Potter. The boy who survived or something.

Brie tilted his head. “I did hear that he was on the train with us. I’d really like to ask him some questions.”

Blue tried to snatch the paperback from Emilia, who read aloud, “write him a poem and recite it.”

Blue’s face went red. “I’m still in the brainstorming process.”

“Why do you want to become friends with Potter?” Natsuki asked, sitting down in the compartment.

Blue shrugged. “My mother and father told me that I should try to.”

“Well,” Natsuki smiled, “let’s try to make the two of you friends.” That’s what Reyna would say. The perfect leader. Outgoing. Friendly. Smiling. Dead. 

“Operation Blue friends with Harry Potter?” Brie uncapped his whiteboard marker, “Let’s plan.”


taliasharone
Eliyah & Talia

Creator

Disclaimers: I don't know how people talk in Europe. I wish I did know the nuances of that, but I don't, so I did not attempt it. Everyone here speaks American English. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed meeting the cast!

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eliyahsharone
eliyahsharone

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yoooo, the perks of nobody seeing this is that I am the TOP comment.

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Harry potter spin-off: draco malfoy and the refused handshake
Harry potter spin-off: draco malfoy and the refused handshake

2.3k views11 subscribers

The Harry Potter world, but following different, better, MUCH GAYER, and more diverse characters!!

There is a lot of angst and wholesomeness. The tone can get very dark.

Basically, the premise follows Draco Malfoy (I changed his character a bit, extrapolating. I made him not just "evil and pathetic" but more "people-pleasing and pathetic". Now think about it, the only motivation Draco has in the books is doing. stuff for his parents. He is neither ambitious nor cunning. The only thing he has is loyalty to his parents. Do you see where I'm going with this? For the continuity of the sorting hat being correct, we put him in Hufflepuff. PREMISE: Draco Malfoy gets in Hufflepuff and gets adopted by a wholesome chaotic friend group of Hufflepuffs!!

Also, we made Draco (group nicknamed him Blue) gay because yes. (we all picked up on Draco's unsubtle obsession/crush on Harry Potter. we decided to not make the crush canon tho cause ngl our Blue has other things)

Also sorry we did what we wanted with this book. Some characters we changed and THIS IS A SPOOF FOR SOME PARTS. We made Harry say erm way more and things like that. Also, we do disrespect Moody but did anyone really have an emotional attachment to him?

Warning: curse words

ALO FUCK JK ROWLING! We wanted to use the harry potter world for just reestablished options but we obviously took many creative liberties.
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Harry Potter spoof (with better characters)

Harry Potter spoof (with better characters)

641 views 5 likes 5 comments


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