“I can’t be here anymore, I have to go.”
“No, you can’t…you promised that you would take me...Mommy?” The little girl could only cry while gripping her mother’s hand as tight as she could with her little hand but her mother yanked her hand and started to walk away.
“Nobody is going to love you the way you are, You have become a monster.” she said looking back one last time, not specifying who she was talking about.
“No.Mommy, I will be a girl. I am not a monster.” the child said trying to shake off the hand on her shoulder.
“Never come back, if you get close to us I will make sure to harm her.” the little girl kept trying to get away from the man holding her back but it didn’t work. Just with one hand on the child’s shoulder, he made her turn around and brought her back inside the house.
Sitting up straight from the bed, my breath was ragged.
I can’t believe I had that dream again. Of course it had to be about THAT woman too.
Feeling hotter than usual I took off the covers and took a seat at the edge of the bed. After taking a few deep breaths, I felt calmer and stood up to stretch my body, catching a glimpse of the clock beside my bed. I saw the numbers four and twenty-eight.
Really? I just needed thirty-two more minutes.
Letting out a sigh I decided it was better to start getting ready to head off to the office. It took me an hour everyday to arrive and since I would not be able to go back to sleep, it was better to not waste any time. It was still dark everywhere, so I turned on the lights and walked towards the bathroom to take a shower.
While trying to remember what I had to do for the day, I remembered that today is my birthday一 It has been twenty years since that woman left me 一 and it is the day when my nightmare started.
After turning off the water and getting out of the shower my foggy figure was the first thing that greeted me. No matter how much I look at myself, I never look like a woman,my short hair and body type helped me disguise myself as a man.
At least one thing makes my father happy.
Ignoring my own thoughts I walked towards the closet to find my suit for the day and just get the day over with. After putting on the chest binder, I put on a suit, a watch, fixed my hair and I was out of the door.
At least there is one positive thing about having to fake being a guy. Less time on hair.
The ride to work was always quiet. It was just me and my thoughts which I didn’t need today. After driving for twenty minutes I received a call.
“How is the birthday boy?...or should I say gi…”
“Shut up, if you don't want to get fired.” I said to my cousin, and best friend since I was born.
“Ouch, you get meaner every year.” even though he couldn’t tell or see me I just rolled my eyes.
“Why are you calling so early? It’s rare for you to wake up at this hour.” looking at the watch on my wrist I saw that it was only six thirty.
“Something told me that you might be waking up at this time, and I know how much you hate this day.” he grew up with me and saw what I had to go through everyday.
“Yeah, are you getting me coffee?” not wanting to remember anything from my past I tried to change the topic.
“No, I am not...but you want ten sugar packets, right?” I could only smile.
“Yup, see you soon, I am close to the office.”
Casey (13 years old)
“Why are you using that? Only girls use that.” Ryan said when he walked into my room.
“Use what?” I said putting my hands behind me, trying to hide the pad that I have to use every month.
He got closer to me and took it away from my hands
“This… Why do you have this?”
“I-I…it...please, don’t… don’t tell anyone.” the only thing I could feel was fear, and my eyes started to tear up. I yanked the pad away and ran to the bathroom. I started to cry and fear what my father would do to me.
Don’t get caught was the only thing he always had told me. After gathering all my courage I went out and saw that Ryan was sitting on my bed.
He patted the side next to him and I sat down,” So, you’re a girl?”
“Is that why uncle treats you so bad?”
I nodded again
“Well, you are still Casey to me. Don’t worry I will help you keep your secret.” my eyes widened and he noticed.
“What? I’m not a snitch.” I could only smile and he did the same.
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