I'm deep in sleep I feel light like there is nothing around me anymore. I can only feel the soft pillows that I clench in my hands as a reminder that I'm still in bed and not floating on water, it's peaceful, and I begin to think of her, "Lucille..." I mumble her name, the sound of it making my lips curve into a smile.

I love the movement my mouth makes as her name paints my lips with happiness at the sheer thought of seeing her tomorrow at school, we've been doing exams all week and tomorrow is a normal day of class and I'll finally get to see her again. It's always the same thing though, I wake up in the morning and take an extra shower to keep me awake and lively, only to end up dozing off on the bus and falling asleep in all my classes, each time finding it harder to keep my eyes open long enough to last me through each class and I end up failing miserably as if Muhammad Ali himself knocked me off my feet and into slumber.

"Jason" a soft but stern voice calls out to me and immediately I jolt up as if I was just unconscious, the scent of smelling salts woke me and I see a familiar face, dark blue eyes like an early night sky gazing at me and soft pastel pink lips curved into a smile as it blends in with her golden brown skin.

I look at her astonished by how long it's been and how different she almost looks "Lucy?" I say it like I don't already know that it's her and she chuckles a little "Yes you sleepy head now get up, were going to the study hall for the summer party!" she slides her short curly hair back as the sun shines against her body when she stands up lifting my bag along with hers, she's wearing a baggy black and white half hoodie shirt that stops right above her bellybutton, revealing her abs and belt hugging her hips guaranteeing that her shorts that stop at the beginning of her calves won't fall.

I shoot up quickly averting my gaze from her any longer and take my bag from her hand "Today is the last day." I say blandly, hoping that I still have until tomorrow to spend as much time as I want with her since I'll be graduating once the year ends and she'll still be here for another year.

"if you'd spend less time sleeping and more time paying attention, you'd know this, now c'mon they have steak kabobs there!" she runs out of the classroom and speed walks down the hall, I follow behind her passing her in just a few steps with my long legs, she quickly rushes up next to me and grabs my pale hand and I look down, knowing that she's going to give me the look I stop mid-walk and kneel and she hops on to my shoulders, legs dangling at both sides of my head and I slowly get up making sure I don't drop her while she rests her hands on my head, small hands sinking into my hair I can feel my face turn pink a little from her touch, the scent of apple and cinnamon fill my nose as she bends down a little and boops it then points ahead of me "full speed ahead buddy!" stiffling my laughter I run down the halls passing other students and teachers who looked at us in confusion and some as if we were highschoolers again but I didn't care, I was happy right where I was holding my best friend as we fill the halls with our laughter and shouts, little did she know that she is the love of my life, but that's about to change today.

By the time we get there it's packed with what looks like the whole building, some of the students are setting up tables and chairs while culinary students set out the food and plates, as I'm looking around at everyone busy themselves I feel something tighten around my head a little and realize that Lucille has me squeezed between her thighs out of excitement from seeing all these people gathered together and sitting at already set tables, my face heats "L-Lucy" the warmth of her thighs against my cheeks makes me turn beat red and I feel my heart pound into my chest "Lucy" calling for her again with a whimper in my throat as I become flustered, she can't hear me over the crowd of shouting and loud laughter, I close my eyes and purse my lips together as I try calling out to her one last time "L-Lucille wait-". nothing happens, not knowing what to do at the moment I quickly run through the crowd making my way through smoothly and making sure that she doesn't get knocked down in the process "Woah Jason slow down" she grips my hair gently as I make my way over to a clearing near a wall, finally stopping and kneeling to let her off "are you ok? you look winded" she looks at me and I avoid her gaze and try to clear my mind of what happened "I'm fine" she looks up to me and smiles "if you needed a break you could've just told me and we would've stopped" I fix my posture after restoring the air in my lungs and look down to meet her cheerful face. "I'm alright i just felt a little worried about falling over with all those people around"

My chest tightens slightly as if to be butterflies but eases in with more of a thick melted feeling oozing down my ribcage, rise, and fall of my chest is natural yet I feel I've downed 12 cups of coffee within the same hour. "yeah that would be scary but you made it here and we didn't miss the gathering!" she pats my shoulder fondly and I can't help but tense, the look she gives me assures me it was visible as well. "hey you're ok right?" the tone of her voice notches down from excitement to concern as I stare down at the floor.

vision slightly dazed I zone out for what feels like minutes and I'm snapped back by the sound of scraping and dragging on tiled flooring

"you need to sit down" she whispers, the sound making me want to fall over i quickly sit in the cushioned chair, by the look on her face she's worried and I straighten my back against the chair and look at her. Her gaze was already there as if waiting to meet mine

"lucy..Can I say something?"

Lucy snorts shortly and squats down to meet eye level with me "What kind of question is that of course you can" I clench my fist softly as I prepare myself, not sure what the outcome will be or if I can handle it. but it'd be best to say something now rather than hold it in for another three years. "I wanted to say something important about how everything has been these past few years of being in college together", I say it clear as day but my eyes fall stale on the wall while hers are still on me.

"Yeah?" she says with a soft tone and I feel my heart sink a level and do my best to continue "I enjoyed college with you and this is my final year here but I think it's important that you know..."

"that I know what?" she speaks with curiosity in her voice, I breathe in and hold it in for a brief moment before speaking more "I wanted you to know that I'll miss you." I feel disappointed that I couldn't usher out what I wanted i look at her shocked to see her smiling.

"I'll miss you too, Jason" Compassion in her words I look away again with a forced smile only to falter into mad blushing as she turns my face to meet mine, hand gentle and soft but firm with small fingers pressed on my cheeks as if to swaddle them "aaaand what else?" she says with a focused look. I feel my face becoming warmer from not just her touch but from the embarrassment I feel.

"W-what?" like an idiot I mumble as if I didn't hear her plain as day "Lucy I-"

"You've been odd since this morning and I think I know why, so don't be scared just tell me what you want to say, Jason." still holding my face she smiles brightly with that encouraging look on her face that she gives me any time I get cold feet or lack confidence. Feeling dazed and more embarrassed I stare back into her eyes that set the thermostat to 78 degrees in the house during summer "god Lucille.. don't give me such a look."

"what look?" leaning closer to my face she stares intently with an unfamiliar but welcoming glint. unable to help myself, I pull her in swiftly for a kiss and wrap around my free arm while the other cradles her head, "just a little longer." I think to myself, as if to hear my thoughts she reciprocates the kiss deepening even more. I feel the slow burn of the heat rise into my stomach and up to my chest for what seems to last several minutes when a sudden loud churn of a rumble stops us and I feel embarrassed as she stands up.

"I'm guessing I'm not the only thing you're hungry for?"

"L-Lucille!" I sputter a bit as my face turns red with embarrassment again. She laughs as if she didn't just say something flustering, she has always been a tease but never in this way.

I snap out of it when she takes my hand and leads me up to a table within a few strides away. The table was holding more food than I've seen at a family party and sectioned off in ways that were considerate for children who had different cultures, keeping the meat and bread away and at a different table, any food that consists of pork, or peanuts was also kept away and labeled. vegetarian food was kept away from the meat as well. The table we were at Had bowls of vegan meatballs covered in chili pepper and soy sauce, there was another bowl that had the same thing but was left plain for students who didn't like spice or just wanted blandness.

I turn my head to Lucy who is deep in thought of what to eat, the only tables she can go to are the vegetables and meat but none of the bread as gluten is bad for her and she's allergic to wheat. I pick up a toothpick, stab it into a plain meatball, and hand it to her. She smiles gently but something about said "smile" seemed to have a mischievous look and before I knew it, she's already leaned her head in and taken a bite while making eye contact. I turn my head away and stay silent for a moment before speaking.

"I meant to hand it to you" My heart feels ready to jump out of my chest as she stifles her laughter and holds out a sauced meatball.

"I know how much you like it spicy so I made sure to dip it fully" I look at her hand and back to her, she wants me to do the same thing but I decide to take it further, I lean down to her height grabbing her hand gently and pulling it closer to my lips I take a small bite with a blank expression while looking directly at her then I take another bite, this time pulling the toothpick out her hand with my teeth and pulling back slowly all while staring into her eyes. She doesn't seem all that phased but chuckles a little bit as I stand up, still holding eye contact, and go for a bold move that seems very untimely.

"I love you," I said before standing back up to full height and waiting for her reaction to what I had just said

"you what?" She looks at me with an expression I've never seen before and I snap back to reality, realizing what I had just said to her

"I love you, it's been three years but I feel it's been forever, every day that we've been together is.. I've never felt so alive or had so much energy as I do now. it's like you're serotonin and I'm addicted. I-"

"I think you've said enough" Smiling softly, she takes my hand and holds it with both of hers gingerly and continues. "I completely understand you, but" I feel my heart drop as she says those words and clench my jaw.

Lucy pulls my hand closer places its full palm on her chest and looks up at me staying silent. I'm not sure what I feel as it feels like we're stuck in a paused frame of time or as if this is a dream about to come to an end as I wake up in my bed again, I can't say anything, or I should say anything. if I do what would I even say? how do I respond or react, in the moment of it all it just seems to end but I want to keep going despite the suspense and anxiety from it all. What happens next?

This is the end of Serotonin, a short story on what it's like to be in love with someone and have those feelings thrive and become something more but never knowing what will come next with these feelings.

Will it end with heartbreak? Will it end with rejection or with a happy ending of a love story come true? Who is to know what will come in the future, you can never really prepare for the outcome of things but you can endure it and continue your story, whether it be a bittersweet ending or one of happiness and joy like you dreamed of.

There is always a story in every life.