"A human can only have eight lives. You know full well, Hinata."
"I know that, but still-"
"Don't still me.
To any frustrations that you have, I can only offer my condolences.
I cannot and will not grant you another life. That is breaking the rules."
"I was so happy when I ended my seventh life! My eight life, one where I could choose what I want to be, it was just in front of my eyes."
"It couldn't be in front of your eyes. You weren't even-"
"Weren't even born.
Aborted and killed off instantly from the world.
My eighth life.
His eyes welled up with tears,
"I wanted to have a harem!
I wanted to at least run to school with toast in my mouth once!
I wanted to accidentally fall on a girl's chest and get slapped across the face!
I wanted to choose possibly the worst girl so that anybody who reads my life as a book could get triggered!
All of it!
WASHED AWAY IN THE WAVES OF ABORTION!"
He sat down on the white void that served as the intermediate between the afterlife and earth.
"I really looked forward to that life, you know."
"Well that's too bad, I guess.
It happens all the time, too.
You're not the first, and certainly not the last too."
"What happened to them? The ones who couldn't even live out their eighth life"
"A ninth life."
He frowned and titled his head back.
"You just said that was breaking the rule-"
"In another world, a detached prism from the universe you live in."
"To put it in NEET terms, yes."
He pulled himself up.
"One filled with catgirls?"
"They're not called demi-humans, but yes."
His eyes lit up.
"Then I'm goin-"
"There is one condition though.
A rather big bummer."
(crossing hands, a frown on his face)
"What is it this time?"
The goddess talking to Hinata smiled:
"The only thing I can do is grant you life in another world, on the condition that you defeat the demon king that reigns over the land there.
Whether you survive or not depends on your skills."
"There are catgirls there. I wouldn't miss a chance to see them."
Then, in softer words, whispered to herself,
"No wonder Japan's birth rate is so low."
The goddess turned back to Hinata.
"How does this work?
Do you instantly transport me to this world?"
She cleared her voice, and saddled further into the chair that I didn't mention she was sitting on from the start of the story until now.
"There are actually two ways to go about doing this.
One way, the more popular one, is to reset your life to zero; starting life in another world as a baby. You can choose what characteristics you can have, and what kind of intellect or physical prowess you have. The catch, however, is that you will forget all that has happened in your past eight lives."
He frowned again.
"Then what's the second one?"
"To be instantly transported into the world."
The goddess's eyes widened, frightened of copyright issues.
"Basically, yes. You can't change your intellect or your physical prowess, but you can pick a weapon and a skill to help you survive and kill the demon lord."
"That's really just a rip-off of Konosub-"
"OKAY! IT'S TIME TO DECIDE WHICH PATH YOU WANNA TAKE! LET'S JUST DROP THAT SUBJECT!"
"Are you really that scared of copyright? The writer isn't even getting paid for it."
"Just shut up and decide."
"Well, if you're doing a Kon*suba rip-off, I might as well follow through. I'll just spawn in the world, I guess."
The goddess heaved a sigh of relief:
"Now, time to decide what skills and weapons you want to have."
"What are the skills to choose from?"
"Destroying things with one punch, pulling a useless god into a world, transforming into a giant that can fight, and having rubbery limbs, just to name a few."
"Aren't those all anime references."
"You're a NEET, don't complain."
He put his hands on his chin and stroked it, seeming to be in deep, intellectual thought.
"What's your most overpowered skill?"
"Destroying things with one punch."
"That would make me bald, no."
"What's another popular one?'
"Being able to re spawn to a moment of time before your death."
"I don't want to be likened to a car brand, or be flamed for having unoriginal ideas."
He looked up with doubting eyes,
"Do you even have a skill that is 100% original?"
"Only one, but we do."
"Alright, let's hear it."
"Having a girl that turns into a sword."
"I'M NOT DOING A BLADE DANCE! AND ISN'T THERE ANYTHING THAT'S ORIGINAL?!?"
"I knew you would say that, so I came prepared.
Our totally original skill, is having a girl that transforms into a gun."
"Isn't that still unoriginal? I mean, it has been done before in soul eat-"
"LET'S STOP WITH THE REFERENCES, OKAY?"
"Fine, but isn't having a girl who can transform into a gun unoriginal?"
"No it isn't! The girl that we are talking about is a loli!"
(Writers note: Loli means little girl, or at least someone who looks like or has characteristics of a little girl)
"Yes. Is it an original skill yet?"
"I guess it is. I'll take that then."
"Alright, that's settled, I guess.
Now to move on to the weapons."
"What are the weapons available?"
"Anything you can think of, really."
"Then how about Excalibur?"
"Yes, from fate."
"We would get a copyright strike."
He was silent for a moment, again wallowing in deep intellectual thought.
"Then, how about a P90?"
"You know, a gun."
"Yes, a gun."
"With absolutely no chance for a copyright strike?"
"Well, it's a real life gun, so I suppose no."
"Then it's settled! A P90 for Hinata!"
And the gun, a mass of military-ish black, materialised in front of Hinata.
"You'll receive your skill when you reach the other world.
Now enough talking. This chapter needs to end so I'll transport you to the other world now."
The already bright floor he sat on was now engulfed in light, forming a circle that encapsulated in being.
"Remember, your goal there is to defeat the demon lord!"
"I'll start a harem of catgirls first!"
And Hinata was sent flying up into the void, breaking into the new world, falling down the sky and ultimately face first onto a hill in a forest.
As he rolled down, his face bruised from the fall, he noticed a pair of shoes in front of him.
Looking up, he saw what his heart desired most.
Looking down at him, with big eyes curious of the world, she asked:
"Are you master?"
"Yes, yes I am."
And Hinata fainted, starting the story of starting life in another world from zero with a loli and a p90 that god has blessed.