I rock my feet back and forth, enjoying the view. The ground sits below, tempting me with the promise of sleep. But sadly I know I can't jump. Not yet. Oh! My manners! I'm Jay, a sixteen year-old mess. I'm clearly suicidal, and this isn't the first time I've been on the brink of death. 

     When I was ten I almost bled out on the bathroom floor, when I was eleven I took as many of my mom's pills as I could, when I was thirteen I tried to hang myself, but the rope snapped, and when I was fifteen I took a gun to my head, but it jammed. But today is my sixteenth birthday, and so I have to make sure I succeed. 

     I have a knife next to me, and I'm sitting on the top of the highest building I could find. (that's climb-able) I, Jay Thomas, am going to jump. And if it's my luck again, and I get saved somehow, I'll use the knife. If it all goes to shit I can simply slit my throat. I laugh quietly to myself... I know that my mom's found my note by now. She doesn't typically worry about stuff like this though, since she knows that I've tried before. She told me that she can't fix mistakes, but mistakes can fix themselves. To my surprise a cold tear slides down my cheek, and I quickly brush it away and take another drink of the sour clear liquid by me, finishing off the bottle.

     "Ugh" I say, not meaning to say it out loud. I'm not one for vodka, especially not plain, but if I'm dying soon then might as well try anything I can while I'm still awake.

     I adjust the hoodie I'm wearing. It's dark black and very, very new. I decided I would try to make a good impression if there is some kind of greater power up there. Or down there too I guess.

     I smile again to myself as I imagine what I would say. "Hey, I'm Jay Thomas, and I couldn't fly!" or maybe "Good afternoon, I'm dead" I snicker, but one thought crosses my mind. The reason I'm doing this is to leave forever, not to stick around for the rest of eternity. That just sounds boring. I'm doing this to get away, not to go somewhere for... ever I guess. So I'd much rather go nowhere. The thought of sleeping peacefully forever sounds amazing. Just floating in a pool of deep blue silence... It's my dream I guess.

     Just then had I realized how much closer to the edge I had moved, as if my body was telling me that I can get the quiet I want if I just...

     I moved farther, teetering slightly on the edge. I quickly grabbed my phone. I had to text somebody before I fell. I scrolled through my contacts until I found him. My dad. He died when I was nine, and he's the only one that cares anymore, even if he isn't right with me.

     I type out the message carefully with my surprisingly shaky fingers. This is it. All it takes is one message that will never get a response. I try to find the perfect words, spending about five minutes typing a couple words. I deleted a few. Wish you were here, I wrote before I quickly deleted it, shaking my head. Too corny. Miss me?, I tried again, but I deleted that one too. Too pushy. See you soon, I wrote, sending it almost immediately. I stared at it for a second, before looking up at the sky, then down at the drop below me. 

     Then I fell.