Chapter 1 "Teach me how to DIE "

A storm was brewing in the mountains. A strong wind hummed, bending the pine trees under its pressure, and the snow swirled around, turning the forest into a white, silent kingdom. I wrapped myself in a thick woolen cloak and continued to move forward, despite the inhospitable elements. My face was hidden under the hood, and my strong boots left deep marks on the white bedspread.

Every step was difficult. Snow drifts sometimes reached my knees, and I had to literally break through them. The cold penetrated to my bones, and I shivered, trying to stay warm. I knew that the path would not be easy, but the monastery on the top of the mountain was my only hope for salvation.

My knock was weak, but the monks who were waiting for the traveler heard it. The door opened, and I, exhausted and frozen, was greeted by the warmth and light of the monastery. They served me a hot herbal decoction and wrapped me in warm blankets. The monks were glad to see a new guest and help me regain my strength.

- We don't understand Europeans. You are always wanting something, always worrying, always looking for something. What are you looking for? We don't know this! We can't take you away. We think that all Europeans are crazy like you. - The monk spoke.

- I'm looking for Lama Ramplla Rimpoche! - I barely said. The monks took me into the room where the Lama was sitting, he looked at me and asked - What do you want from a European?

- You are the famous Lama of Tibet, Ramplla Rimpoche, I want to learn tantra and magic from you! My name is Deus Vult, I flew here from Italy, I am a magician, and I want to learn from you!

- You are a magician ha-ah! The Europeans haven’t amused me for a long time, it will be fun, let’s play teacher and student. And what do you want to learn from me since you are a magician?! - Lama answered sarcastically.

- Teach me to Die! - I said, but suddenly all the monks began to whisper to each other, from their faces they were apparently angry at my insolence and my confession.

Sitting by the fireplace, I felt the warmth returning to my body, and my soul was filled with peace. I knew that I had overcome a difficult test, and now I faced a new stage of the journey - the path of spiritual improvement within the walls of the monastery.

I am in Nepal in the Buddhist monastery of Kapan. Kopan is a Tibetan Buddhist monastery of the Gelug school in Nepal, associated with the international Foundation for the Maintenance of the Mahayana Tradition and at one time its headquarters. It is located on the top of Kopan Hill on the outskirts of Kathmandu, not far from the Boudhanath Stupa, which I barely reached in a snowstorm, but I am here now. My goal is to comprehend the teachings of tantra of the Vajrayana school, this is an esoteric system that correlates with late Buddhism. The main difference is expressed by the basic Mahayana saying “samsara and nirvana are one,” which expressed the idea of ​​achieving liberation not after death, but as a certain psychological state in which a person realizes himself to be free. In Tibetan Buddhism, widely practiced in Nepal, there are many gods and demons. Some of them have roots in Hindu mythology, while others originate in the Tibetan tradition.

Lama Ramplla put three containers of water on the fire. When the water boiled, I threw carrots into one, put an egg into another, and poured coffee into the third.

After a while he asked:

- What changed?

- The eggs and carrots were cooked, and the coffee dissolved in the water. - I answered.

“No,” answered the Lama and continued. - Hard carrots, having been in boiling water, became soft? The fragile and liquid inside of the egg became hard. Outwardly they have not changed, but they have changed their internal structure under the influence of equally unfavorable conditions.

Thus, people who are strong in appearance can become unstuck and soften where fragile and tender people only harden and become stronger.

- What about coffee? - I asked.

- ABOUT! This is the most interesting! Has the coffee completely dissolved in the new one? environment and changed it - turned boiling water into magnificent ones? fragrant? drink!

- What about me, where is my coffee?

- I don’t have coffee for you, but I’ll make you what you’re here for. Here, have a drink. - Lama Ramplla said and handed me a bottle of liquid.

Inside the bottle, a liquid shimmered, changing color from emerald to bright blue. Every time I turned the bottle over, it felt like a whole world was raging inside it.

I carefully held the bottle of magic elixir in my hands. Inside the bottle, a liquid shimmered, changing color from emerald to bright blue. Every time I turned the bottle over, it felt like a whole world was raging inside it.

Gathering my courage, I opened the cork. The smell of the elixir was both sweet and spicy, reminiscent of distant travels and unknown adventures. I slowly brought the bottle to my lips, feeling the cold glass touch my skin. Taking a deep breath, as if about to jump into an abyss, I took a long sip.

The liquid was warm and thick, like honey spreading down the throat. It tasted unexpectedly complex: first I felt the sweetness of ripe fruit, then the spiciness of exotic herbs, and finally a slight bitterness that lingered on the tongue. It seemed like every sip had its own world.

As soon as the elixir penetrated inside, I felt warmth spreading throughout my body. The heart beat faster, the blood flowed with renewed vigor. I closed my eyes and felt the magic flowing through my veins, filling every cell with energy. It seemed that the world around me was beginning to change: the stars in the sky shone brighter, the trees around seemed alive, whispering in an unknown language.

After a few minutes the effect intensified. I felt lightness in my body, as if I had become weightless. All my senses were heightened: I heard the wind rustling leaves several kilometers away, felt the scent of distant flowers. Every breath was filled with new sensations, the world revealed itself to me in its true, magical form.

Lama Ramplla Rimpoche asked me - What is happiness? Is it Comfort, freedom, money, joy, good mood? All this is spiritual drunkenness! when people strive for creativity, understanding, freedom, financial independence, self-expression, all these people are actually striving for Spiritual Drunkenness. Spiritual Drunkenness gives us Grace. Grace received and left for oneself. Each part performs its duty as a whole, but how do we perceive happiness? I think that in order to understand what happiness is, Suffering will help us understand. What is Suffering? People call their addiction suffering. Dependence on Fate, on work, on family, on wife, husband, on bank account, on illness. Illness is Suffering because I cannot do what I want. I cannot fulfill my desires, high and low, my desires are limited by suffering, limited by the fact that they are not dependent on me. Suffering is “I can’t change anything.” And then each person begins to curse the unknown God, and not the known one, because we do not know God, the God who punishes us. Suffering is what we are conditioned by. Painful dependence on our thoughts, hopes, goals, all this is the laugh of God. We suffer from dependence on our dreams, desires, we are unhappy from our superstition. Superstition is also an addiction, we think that sorcerers and magicians are stronger than us, we ourselves transfer the power and power over ourselves to things, but this is a thing, or even more stupidly, our thoughts control us, but this is not possible, this is our belief in it! This is our superstition, this is our Suffering! But things or thoughts, dreams, harmless in themselves, we ourselves endow them with power, or we transfer our power to another person, to a magician who endows our thoughts or our things with power. Things or Objects have been given the power to free us from our addictions, but the opposite happened, things, objects control us. Our Disease is “unhappy superstition.” We ourselves give things, objects our power, but objects themselves do not have power, and cannot. We need a person who will give the subject power. The first secret of the magic of Buddhism is the secret of our concentration on the subject. Concentration is the secret of liberation from our Circumstances, which fill the external funnel of our thoughts-images. But if the point of “concentration” is clogged with thoughts and emotions, then the signal will not pass through.

- Signal? What signal? - I asked.

- This is a metaphor! Your brain is like a kind of receiver that captures information scattered throughout the Universe. You must free yourself from the social funnel, that’s why you are here now. To narrow the social funnel, in your country, the older generation uses alcohol, and the younger generation uses drugs. The thought that life cannot be meaningless turns into spiritual drunkenness if the concentration of attention does not allow a person to find a certain direction in which his life should move.

- Talk to me. - Said the Lama.

- I feel that there are two funnels in me. The first is my social “I”. From time to time I have a need to narrow this funnel, I am left alone with myself and physically feel how this funnel narrows to a point, and then it’s as if something else is opening inside me, this is my other funnel of my inner intimacy. But only by narrowing my social funnel to glasses can I open my intimate funnel and feel the ray, this ray that comes to me from the Lord God, from the emptiness that invented me and the world. With an open social funnel, this ray cannot be felt, and when I can feel this ray, I can see the whole world, and my entire society is only a small part of the general laws that I see.

- Rays from God! This is Interaction.

- Do Buddhists believe in God?

- Buddhism is different, I use the word “god” so that a European like you can understand more clearly what I’m telling you about. There is no god. There is a nature that controls everything and its entire integral law, I want to know and master and control. Nature is Intelligent. Therefore, it creates intelligent organisms and systems all the time. Nature has no time, it is man in the illusion of time perception. Nature is the law. Law is the Supreme force of nature. The highest force of nature is God. The nature of the universe, not the planet, and the Cosmos, we can merge with God and control the universe and its laws, God wants us to become partners with him, I also wanted this, the law of the unity of the cosmos is God.Do you want to know everything?

- Yes I want to know.

- Why do you need to know everything? How about not knowing anything? You Europeans are always missing the Buddhist Fist! Interaction is a state of Concentration, it is liberation from what is filled with what you called the “funnel”, then everything depends on the second funnel of infinity. What fills your point? Life is meaningless and turns into Spiritual Drunkenness if a person’s concentration does not allow a person to find a certain direction in which his life should move. As soon as a person becomes locked at this point, and there is no general movement of the axis, it turns into spiritual drunkenness. Stop bitching too much and concentrate to do something, otherwise evil spirits will take over you. You want your desires to be constantly fulfilled, this is where you think of happiness, a person is a desiring subject. You want to gain the Power of a Magician so that the Universe-World will be obedient to you, circumstances develop the way you want it.

 The Lama began to wave, wave his dagger and read some kind of mantra, I didn’t hear what he was muttering, but the whole room began to dim, my vision began to fade, I saw that something had pierced me, the Lama poked me with a dagger in the chest, in the heart , the Phur-Bu blade entered my body into my heart, but I don’t feel pain, I don’t feel at all that I’m lying or standing, I see everything blurry, like in a dream.

 Lama, Ramplla Rimpoche, came up to me and took out a dagger from under his robe and looked at me with narrowed eyes, I was a little scared of his cold gaze, but like a friend he smiled and said “Phur-Bu” with a grin.

- What? - I asked in bewilderment, examining the dagger in his hand.

- “Phur-Bu” is a ritual dagger, used to drive out evil spirits. The handle of the dagger with a triangular blade is crowned with the horse head of the fierce protective Tibetan deity Hayagriva. I am showing it to you European because, like all Tibetan magic, this dagger is all about happiness. European answer: “What is more important, a thing or a person? Can a thing control people and harm them or cannot it?”

- Of course a man!

- H-ha!! Why didn’t you think so and didn’t see this in your country? Who controls whom? A person's dream of buying a House, can this dream guide a person?

- A person strives for a dream and its fulfillment; people stimulate themselves in this way to take action to achieve their dreams, plans, etc.

Suddenly the Lama began to laugh hysterically. his laughter was of very high vibrations and hurt my ears. The Lama laughed and poked this thing, this dagger, in front of my nose. which caused me to irritate the blade in my face.

- Ha-ha!! Calm down European! This dagger is not a weapon, it has become dull for many decades, it is a magical object to scare away spirits in the monastery. In your European culture, as Christians would say, it is an exorcism.

- And in what way does this dagger help to expel and drive away spirits?

- OM MANI PADME HUM! Your attention is directed completely in the wrong place! Attention is present only in the manifested world, it does not exist in Nothing. Attention is the Creative Force. It is Attention that collects the Aspects of Primary Duality - Light and Emptiness into Form and the World of Forms as a whole. In humans, Attention is presented in 3 types: 1. Observer - involved. 2. Witness - not involved. 3. The third form is the Man himself: Attention identified with the form. We know more about the Creative Power of Attention in ordinary life: a person receives what his Attention is directed to. What do you need to understand here, at this stage next? How can duality disappear? It’s obvious that you DON’T NEED TO LOOK ANYWHERE! No need to dive into any source! It should become clear to you that since you are looking FROM THIS, it means YOU ARE ALREADY THERE AND THAT! Next, if you are already there, what should you NOT DO? You don’t need to look at it, you don’t need to try to find, achieve, understand, etc. You simply remain as WHAT IS, motionless. This is just an indisputable NOTHING, without experiencing oneself. There is no one and nothing here anymore: no search, no witness, no observation, no experience, no awareness of something, because THIS is the non-dual YOU, simply YOU.