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 “For all those who believe that a dream isn't just a dream, but a guide for the future destined to you. I promise, your dream will not be forgotten.”

 

— Aeron Fëanor —

     

   David Connor…

   For many people, that’s the name of the great British actor who became a media sensation at seventeen. To me, David Connor is the name that makes my heart beat faster, as if it carries a purpose beyond simply keeping me alive.

   He saved my soul when everything around it was nothing but the chaos of insecurity, becoming the fortress where I could lower my defenses and allow myself to cry without fear of judgment. To love without the fear of getting hurt. To rest, and to take in the sensations of a real love.

   Our story began years ago, and I still love him in a way I’ve never loved anyone before. We went through challenges I was certain would be the end of us, but David never stopped showing me that the world held so much more than pain and heartbreak. He showed me that no matter how much a storm pours gray over the world, it’s because of that storm that the ground is soaked, so life can grow again when the sun comes back the next day.

   David might be the most important person in my life now, but before that, he was just… well, let’s say I never truly believed I would one day have him by my side the way I do now.

   Honestly, I never understood why I became so fascinated by him when I was sixteen.

  The first time I heard about David was when the trailer for LoveHeart popped up as a recommendation on YouTube. I was curious about the premise of the QueerFlix series, but there was something about David that made me want to know more.

  I became so obsessed with learning everything about him that, during one of my deep dives through interviews and information I found online, I discovered that around the same time, we had both been interested in learning Japanese—even though neither of us ever actually studied the language.

   I spent three years dreaming about the day I would finally meet David in person. I imagined how I would react, whether it would be a cloudy day or a sunny one, whether it would happen in Brazil or during some future trip to London—maybe at an event, or by chance while walking through the streets.

   But just a few months before I turned twenty, I received news that made me feel endlessly grateful to whoever might be responsible for the way our lives unfold: David was coming to Brazil, and he would be staying at my father’s hotel.