Why tell a story when almost every story has been told? Its simple. What if my story brings comfort to just one person? If you are reading this and you have been broken like me. You are not alone. It's okay to be broken and to remember your past. I think I dwell on mine too much, but if I can turn my past into comfort for someone else it’ll be worth it. I’ve lived through a lot for only being in my 20s. At the same time, I have been through barely anything compared to some people. We all have different types of growth and journey through our lives, but not a lot of people talk about their personal love journeys. People write about fictional characters. Yeah we know that one guy who writes about teenage girls falling in love. I’m sure some of that comes from his experience but how real can that get? At what point do we say, I want my story told and I want to tell it. I’m saying it. I’m Dylan Hal and I want my story heard! I want people to experience my love journey!
To begin, I have a lot of love to give. I always have. I started out as a very gullible, trusting child. I guess most people do, but I stayed very trusting. That’s really a later point though. For now, I want to focus on my immediate acknowledgement of others. All the way back in preschool I had a crush! Yes, a tiny preschooler pines for another. They would steal my crackers and I would steal theirs back. We sat beside each other every chance we got. Though that may have been only my doing. To clarify, this wasn’t one of those, “Our mom’s are friends so I’ve been around them forever” or our moms thinking we were cute together. I just thought another human was that interesting at that young an age.
No one cares about preschool crushes of course. So their family moved away. No hard feelings. I think I was sad back then but not devastated. My first crush was not my first love. I don’t think a preschooler is capable to fully love someone in that since. I moved on with my life and up to kindergarten crush. This is where things really take off in my journey. Oh yeah, ALL the way back in kindergarten. New crush time. In walk James Davidson. Okay yes I know preschool and kindergarten crushes are so untreatable for a lot of people, but hang with me. I want to expose my whole journey that shaped the type of partner I am today. So James is important. He was my first love. Not in kindergarten of course. It was a crush back then, but it was mutual. We started going on play dates.
I mentioned myself as a gullible trusting child. This is important because my truthfulness, kindness, and confidence were not broken at this point even though I was bullied even in Kindergarten. Yes, other children began picking on me often and tearing me down as a 5 year old little girl who had to get glasses. I don’t remember if glasses had to do with it, but I stood out even then. James liked me though. We hung out on the play ground and he kissed my forehead while he sat on the plastic purple dinosaur and I sat on the ground beside it. Years later in middle school. I heard that people said it was a kiss on the lips under the slide. Words really get twisted when they travel through so many years for so many years.
Children move up grades and classes change. James and I were separated by walls, but we stayed together. We would meet on the play ground and push each other on the swings. Then one year in elementary some frustrated child decided we weird and called us names. Looking back its funny. What did they say to us? “Eww you like each other!” Why dis that hurt our feelings so much? I’m not a psychologist I don’t understand the minds of children. But I know I was so hurt and scared of the tormentors that I found a way to stay inside to do work instead of going out to the play ground.
James and I stayed together through this. Though I wasn’t always super loyal as an elementary schooler. I had other crushes. But don’t get me wrong I didn’t tell them or let them kiss my forehead! That kind of behavior was my elementary style loyalty. I could never stop seeing other people as beautiful people and just cut my interest in them. Of course I did not end up with James either. That woyld be too simple. Young "love" nevrr lasts. If it did, this would not be a journey. It would be a short stop wouldnt it?
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