Hello, dear diary!

I wasn't going to start you. But once I noticed that the longer I live among people, the more difficult it’s for me to keep memories in my head. I'm a little worried that one day they can all disappear. I didn't know what to do with it and shared my problem with my human (I call him Wil). It was he who advised me to start a diary and write into it everything that I should not forget. Wil said that it is very simple and for the diary I need only ink and a notebook. He even shared with me a stack of paper and a handful of dry ink.

When I asked, "Why don't you give me normal ink?"

He didn’t answer me. Obviously he thought I could be satisfied with dry ink. But I didn't agree. I wanted a real diary, and not a few sheets, roughly stitched together with a thread. And so I decided to use my “special power”. I converted the paper into a small book, and the ink mixed with my own blood and got "especially resistant ink"! Just amazing ink! I could write anything with them, because no one except me can read the notes. If someone besides me (for example, my man) looks in the diary, he will see there only a few very disgustingly rhymed verses. Oh yes, I hope that "someone" would not dream of reading them aloud, for he could easily summon shadow creatures or unleash a curse. Of course, I didn’t plan to protect my diary so radically. But my blood and power made something terrible out of ordinary paper. Hopefully, if I use the diary, it will not turn into another “cursed artifact”. And yes, I will not warn Wil about these special properties of my diary. Let it be my little revenge.

Hehehe!

Thursday, November 2

So, my first memory. More precisely, the first conscious memory. The most blurred of all. I don't remember the moment of my appearance in this world. I just ... came along.

Understanding nothing, not having a form… I lay on the stone floor of the gloomy hall. In front of me stood a huge black throne, which was chained man. At that time I didn’t know who he was, but I felt a kinship. Driven by curiosity, I swam closer to him and touched his boot. And then something happened.

I felt an unbearable pain and memories came to my mind. Memories of another person. It stunned me and the beginning redrew my body, change me. But that was ... not mine. Like something turns me into a copy ... But who? This man?

And then I screamed and rushed away from the man on the throne and his memory. The changes in my body slowed down, never completed. And the memories of the other person stopped hurting me. Then finally, I began to understand. Everything that was happening now.

The man on the throne woke up. He looked at me with fear and disgust. But now I knew who he was. I knew his name and how he got here. I also knew that he would die soon, because this place is slowly killing him. And I knew that I began to exist because of him.

He really wanted to get out of here. The inability to do this drove him crazy. His personality has split into two parts. One of which was turned into ... something by the power of this place. Even now I find it difficult to characterize myself somehow differently. I am just a shadow, by chance, gained independence and a semblance of life. And even outwardly, I look strange, no longer a monster, but not yet a human. Must be from the side, I looked pretty creepy. But I didn’t want to scare anyone, especially my human. And by an effort of will, I was able to slightly change my appearance, make it more ... humanlike.

Stepping over to my human, I smiled amiably (anyway, I hoped it looked friendly) and tried to call him by name. But I managed to say only "Wil". My human shouted wildly, tried to escape from his bonds and suddenly ... fell asleep. Just now, remembering those events. Just now, remembering those events, I understand that he felt horror. But then I absolutely didn’t understand what I did wrong.

Saturday, November 4

All previous day I hid in the shadows of the throne hall, fearing to be noticed. Wil (I liked this abbreviation. My man’s full name sounds too boring) felt my presence, but didn’t try to talk to me.

Sunday, November 5

Today I decided to talk to Wil. It seemed to me that he was already calm enough to accept the fact of my existence. But I was wrong. I am sure he hated me at first sight. And he did not want to listen to my explanations and didn’t believe that I was not just evil. He did not believe that I was part of his personality. He considered me an ordinary shadow monster. One of those that quietly snooping around the hall. But my difference from them is that I can fake a human appearance. And thus make him mad! But he is almost mad. Absolutely without my participation.

His words sounded offensive and absurd. I listened to him, listened ... and suddenly I realized that I no longer want to persuade him. I don’t care. Absolutely. I just turned around and left without listening to his next statement. I had only to wish to be far away from this room, as something strange happened. I was simply drawn into one of the especially dark shadows near the stand with the torch and I found myself ... in the forest.

It was an amazing place - full of trees, animals and birds. It is so sunny, so alive. But I noticed that all the shadow creatures I had met (there were plenty of them here) were hiding from the light in the shade of the trees. Obviously, the sunlight hurt them. But not me. I just enjoyed the walk and was almost happy at that moment.

And then the pain came. It was like a knife blow, it bound my body and I fell on the soft snow. I knew that somewhere in the center of the throne hall my human cried out in pain. I felt the connection that unites us gradually disappears.

Our "connection" was not an abstract concept. No no! It was a very real luminous thread, coming from the center of my chest and reaching for a human. I could not remove or break it. Wil didn’t see this thread and didn’t know about it. And I didn’t understand why this thread is needed. Now I got it. While my human is alive, the thread is clearly visible. If he dies, the thread will disappear, and with it, I will disappear. But I didn’t want this at all...

Friday, November 17

For almost two weeks I tried to help Wil, but every day he was getting worse. He was very bad and came to himself less and less. And I couldn’t help him in any way. I suspect my appearance was one of the main reasons for the deterioration of his condition. Another reason was the split of his personality. This process was irreversible. Maybe if he had accepted the fact that I was part of his personality, his condition would have improved. But...

I probably would have felt sorry for him. But I don’t know the feeling of compassion. I ... just don’t want to stop existing.

Tuesday, November 21

I slept at the foot of the throne (yes, I am not a human, but sometimes I also need a dream), but I was woken by a loud cry. I rushed to my man, intending to calm him down, but ...

I no longer heard his breathing, only rare weak heartbeats. His head was thrown back, he was ...

I hesitantly touched his shoulder, but he did not react in any way. The fetters no longer held him, after them there were deep wounds. As if in a daze, I watched as bright red drops slowly flow down his fingers. And break down on the stone slabs. I think at such moments even I should be afraid, but I felt ... angry. I was angry with him for being so weak and at himself ... for being useless.

Shadows swirled around me. They whispered something to me. I listened and ... suddenly realized what I needed to do. Concentrating, I shared with the human all the forces available to me. And at the same moment I felt that my body was losing its density, becoming almost transparent. I understood that my strength to sustain life in a person would last only a couple of minutes. So I should hurry. The body on the throne moved and I, considering it a signal to action, just… сalled. This Call was not expressed in verbal form, only in mental form. I called, hoping that someone will respond. Anyone who can help me ... us. And help came!

First I felt a terrifying power. I dived into the shadow of the throne, deciding not to expose my weakened body to such an effect. And the source of this power was already approaching us. It was a woman. At first I took her for an ordinary human. But her body began to change, turning her into a shadow being.

She was so beautiful! I even admired her. But she ... scared me. I don’t know what prompted her, but suddenly the woman quickly opened up the funnel of the portal and threw my human in there. I secretly left my hideout and jumped into the portal after him. I really hoped that this strange beauty would not have time to stop me.