Flashback. 

Maman is always there for me when I need her and I left her on her own. With those men.

Ace ran around the playroom way too big for just him. It was a room straight out of a child’s movie, filled to the brim with every toy or contraption a child could ever dream of and more.

His Maman watched him closely from her seat, ironing her husband's ties. Ace looked back at her every so often, scared she would disappear from his sight like she would do sometimes. He couldn’t let her leave his sight while his father wasn’t here. 

One of the big double doors to the room opened and his father walked in.

Ace smiled from ear to ear. “Hallo Papa!”, he waved.

The corner of the man’s lips turned up. His small smile for his son. Ace looked back at his Maman , happy his Papa was finally home. But she was giving his Papa one of her many looks. So he turned awkwardly back to his toys, though he didn’t lift them, tuned into what could happen between his parents now. He glanced back, paying attention to how his Papa eyed the iron in his Maman’s hands. He stared at the grip she had on it and the tremble in her hands. But he didn’t say anything. He just clutched his bunny to his chest. Please don’t fight. 

His Papa turned to call out into the hall. In German. Men in suits walked into the large room. It wasn’t unusual, his father was always surrounded by men in suits.

Ace watched as his Papa gestured the men, towards his Maman. He looked at her. The questions on the tip of his tongue died at the wide eyed look his Maman had. Then she jumped out of her chair, knocking over the end table. She looked at him and ran, arms stretched out to him. “Eric! Not in front of Ace!”. 

He looked at his Papa, wanting the man to stop whatever it was he was doing. The men in suits always listened to him. Instead Papa yelled at Maman. The men were quicker than her, grabbing her and pulling her away from him. That was when he shouted for her, dropping his bunny. His father stepped in front of him, stopping him from reaching her. 

“Papa!?”, he tried to step around. 

He was lifted into the air and dropped onto his Papa’s shoulder. The men were dragging his Maman to the door, nearly tearing her dress apart.

“They’re hurting her Papa! Stop them!” Tears streamed down his face. “Stop them!”

He felt a hand on his head. His Papa. The man forced his head down. All he could see was the black of his Papa’s suit coat. He struggled against the hand on his head. “Maman!”

“ERIC PLEASE!”. His Maman shouted at the top of her lungs. She was looking at his Papa but the man wouldn’t turn around. 

His Papa’s hand left his head, landing on his back and rubbing. He lifted his head, seeing his Maman stick her foot out, catching it on the door. Something to stop the men. It nearly got ripped off when they didn’t stop. 

A man appeared in the doorway. The men stopped for him. It was Pastor Stein. 

“Papa”, Ace whimpered into his Papa’s shoulder. 

His Maman shrieked at the sight of the man, her body shaking from it. 

“Papa”, he gripped the man’s shirt. His words had no effect. 

Pastor Stein didn’t seem at all affected by the noise. His signature poker face on display. Though his green eyes did land on Ace briefly. The man said a prayer over his mother, speaking at a normal volume, not at all worried about being heard over the cries in the room. When he was finished the men backed up to let him further into the room and then they carried his mother out. 

“Breathe.” His father rubbed his back. “She needs help. Only God can help her now.”

Despite his heart feeling like it was going to burst out at any minute, Ace took in a breath. His Papa turned around and suddenly Pastor Stein was there. Ace sniffled as his Papa hoisted him up for the Pastor to get a better look at him. He kept sniffling as those familiar green eyes searched his own hazel eyes in silence. There was something in the Pastor’s eyes. But the man said nothing, giving his father a look he didn’t understand. His father pushed his head down gently as the Pastor began to pray. He buried his head into his Papa’s chest when it was done, not bothering to say amen.

He wanted the day to start over. For his Maman to wake him up with crepes and let him eat one too many while his father smiled at him, even though he knew the man was mad. It’s better when they’re mad but they smile instead of yelling. I don’t like yelling. 

His father rubbed circles into his back. Then he felt one hand hold him in place while his father bent down. He could feel his bunny being pushed into his cheek but he ignored it. 

His father let out a sigh. Then, “He is tired, Johan.” 

He turned his head to the side. Mr. Johan gave his father a wide smile. Then Mr. Johan’s eyes caught his and the smile got even bigger. He hid his face into his Papa’s shoulder again.

I don’t like Mr. Johan. Papa knows that. He could feel his Papa’s hands tighten around him. 

“Vater”*, his Papa corrected himself. 

Ace tensed at the correction. Papa can’t say no to his own Papa. But Mr. Johan isn’t even his real Papa. Why is he even talking to Mr. Johan!? What about Maman!? He felt like crying again.

“Ich wette, nach so einem Tag ist er das”.*

“Ja”.*

I’m not tired. I want Maman. Definitely not Mr. Johan. He felt another hand on his back and he shied away, knowing it wasn’t his Papa’s hand.

Mr. Johan laughed. “William. Even though you don’t understand it today. You will one day. Your mother… this… is something that needed to happen.”

“Vater.”* His Papa said it again, more quietly. 

Johan let out a quiet chuckle, the hand disappeared and his Papa started moving. 

“Papa. where is Mam-?”

“Shh.” 

Ace lifted his head to protest but he could see Mr. Johan smiling at them as they walked away. So he quickly buried his head again, hugging his bunny.

End of flashback 

***********************

12 years later 

“William!”.

 Ace looked up, startled. 

“We need a fucking refill for the  ice cream shakes! Wake the fuck up!”, his coworker Cody was snapping at him.

Despite the fact that Cody was around the same age as Ace, had an average build like Ace, had curly blonde hair that dropped into his eyes, giving him a babyface, and baby blue eyes that were hard to intimidate, Ace shied back from Cody, curling in on himself. 

He had grown up with a father who ordered around grown men twice the size of Cody. He could feel the disappointing stare his father would have leveled at him for it but here, in a walk in freezer, shivering holding a bag of vanilla milkshake base, he still mumbled a “sorry” to keep the peace he hadn't broken.

“William”, Cody leans in, placing a hand on Ace’s shoulder, “I know you’ve been going through something lately. You’ve been,” he makes a dismissive circle motion with his hands, “moping around a lot. But the owner of this shitty place is coming in today to see if we are up to these annoying health standards so we can start renovations”.

Ace skims the rows of milk cartons in front of him, ignoring Cody squeezing his  shoulder, smiling like they’re having a friendly conversation. 

“More money comes with the renovations. More money means a potential bonus. I have worked my ass off at this shitty little place to much to not get a bonus so you better not fuck this up for me man. I need to update my PC build, finish off college class so my parents get off my ass and maybe - just maybe get something for my annoying ass girlfriend if I don’t dump her after upgrading my PC”. He leans in. “I don’t have time for you to fuck this up, okay buddy?”.

“Yeah”, Ace mumbles.

“Good. Now pass me the fucking strawberry milkshake base”.

Ace makes sure not to make eye contact as he gets it.

“You’re welcome”, he says under his breath as Cody grabs it from him and walks out without another word.

He flinched when the door slammed shut. An image of his father’s disappointed face pops into his head. Then his mother’s face. A wave of sadness follows after her face. I miss Maman.

As soon as he leaves the freezing cold room he’s told to go on break.

He rubbed the circles under his eyes as he headed for the break room, hoping it was empty. Before he can reach the room he can hear the way too loud voices spilling out, dashing his hopes. The voices quiet down at the sight of him and don’t immediately start back up. When they do, they attempt - very poorly - to whisper. Turning their conversation to gossip. About Ace.

“Isn’t his dad Eric Jager? A rich man with more money than he knows what to do with?”

“Why is his son working with us?”

“Maybe daddy cut the gravy train.”

“Maybe he’s doing a reality tv show. Like Paris Hilton did.” 

He eyes the tables in the room with a critical eye, ignoring them. There is a clean one available. He sets down his neatly packed lunch and takes a seat.

The door opens a second time, stopping the gossip. It’s the manager who gives a look that sends most of the group scrambling except for two trouble makers. The brief silence is replaced with the sound of scraping chairs. 

Most of the group makes sure not to make eye contact with the manager on the way out, except for the two troublemakers, taking their sweet time walking.

The manager glares at the smiles they give him.

The door slams shut behind him, making Ace flinch. The manager gives the room a once over, shaking his head at the messy tables. 

He walks up to Ace and drops a packet on the table in front of him. “You’re being fired. Tell your dad not to call me, I have enough on my plate”.

He turns to leave while Ace stares at it blankly.

“You don’t have to come back tomorrow. It’s effective immediately”. The manager leaves without another word, eyeing the two in the corner of the room that didn’t leave with the group. 

Ace skims over the packet and the two on the other side start back up with their gossip. They stop when Ace drops it and pick back up when he starts eating. No cussing, no tears, no questions.

“It’s like he’s an emotionless robot”, one girl says, not bothering to cover her mouth or lean closer to be quiet.

“Not like”, her friends leans in to whisper, “he is.”

Ace tunes them out. The quicker he finishes the quicker he can leave. Cleaning out his locker doesn’t take long. There isn’t much in it. He doesn’t have anyone to say bye to and no one stops to say bye to him as he heads out. Not that he expected them to. He wasn’t the type to make friends.

He nearly bumps into a coworker outside. He mumbles “sorry” but he gets a nose scrunched in disgust. He can hear them as he walks away. 

“How can someone get fired from a shitty job like this?”

That’s the same thing Papa will be thinking. Ace sighs, deciding to walk instead of calling for a ride. On the walk home Ace gets a call. A picture of his Papa holding him at church when he was younger flashes across his phone. He lifts it to his ear, waiting for the lecture.

“You were fired”, his Papa starts slowly.

Ace’s eyes wander. “Yes.”

“This manager told Margaux instead of missing her calls unlike the others. And there are so many others.”

There’s a small line of people waiting to go inside a new cafe. Maybe I should get something sweet. I can keep a pastry to thank Margaux for all her hard work. 

“You don’t have anything to say William?”.

His Papa’s voice brings him back to reality. Away from the cafe. Ace stops on the sidewalk, getting shade from a little tree. “There’s nothing for me to say, Papa.”

“Something is better than nothing”, his Papa snaps, “I got you this job after the last one failed. This time you lasted 6 months. Have you no ambition William?”.

Ace eyes the cars passing by as his Papa waits for something he can’t give. 

“Silent as always. I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I get you jobs to make something of yourself. You do not do it on your own. You are stuck, William. I have given you time to figure it out on your own but this indecisiveness will not stand.  It’s not normal. In this family we do not live lightly. You were given opportunities others would gladly kill for and you are wasting them. What are you waiting for exactly?”

His Maman’s smiling face pops into his head. But he doesn’t dare bring her up first. 

“Just like her”, the man says under his breath.

Ace curls his fists. “She is my maman”.

“Yes she is. She has been out of your life for years. She is not to blame for whatever is wrong with you no-”, his father’s voice blurs into the background as he sees something red in the corner of his eye. 

A person stumbling into the street, holding their neck, crying hysterically. Blood is dripping down a gash in their neck like a river, coating their shirt and starting to bleed into their pants. There are people around, stopping on the sidewalk to look up the street. No one pays attention to the person stumbling around asking for help. No one seems to hear them. Or see them. 

Are they-? Ace forces himself to look away, trying to find something to focus on. Something to drown out the person crying for help. The police sirens echoing through the air is the only thing loud enough. 

Someone blasts down the street on a bike calling out, “Someone got into an accident! They’re fucking dead!”

Another person yells at them to “have some respect for the dead.”

“-iam”.

Ace takes a shaky breath. I just have to ignore them. 

“William!”. 

His ear rings from his Papa’s shouting. “I’m fine”.

“Why can I hear someone saying a person is dead and police sirens!? Are you walking!? I will call-”.

“I’m almost there. It’s fine”. I just need to get by this person holding their neck-

“You should not even be living there! You have a home. I don’t know why I allow this”. 

He’s tired of hearing the same argument.“I will call later Papa”. He ends the call.

A cold gust of wind passes through him. His eyes look for the bloodied person but land on something else. Something green jumping from roof to roof. It lands on a light pole, two eyes locked on Ace. Snake-like arms wrap around the pole. One eye blinks, independently of the other. Then dozens of eyes open and blink in rapid succession. 

I haven’t seen one like this before. "Möge Gott mir gnädig sein”.* 

The snake-like arms slowly unwrap from the light pole and it jumps up back onto the roof of a business. Then another. It jumps slowly, keeping eye contact with him.

Ace places a hand on his chest feeling lightheaded. I need to get home.

Vater - father

Maman - mother

Ich wette, nach so einem Tag ist er das - I bet he is after a day like that

Möge Gott mir gnädig sein - May God have mercy on me