For my very first lunch date with my girlfriend Daisy Vanderbilt, I took her to the fast food restaurant Locos Tacos. Why would I take my girlfriend to a crappy taco place you may be asking? Daisy comes from the illustrious nobility family the Vanderbilts, which is not just any noble family, but one of the richest families in all of Gaia. They are one of the oldest too, seeing as they are Gaian Celestials, the oldest race to ever exist in the universe.
Basically, I am too poor to afford anything Daisy is used to. That, and I believe that everybody should live their lives experiencing new things at least once. How did that saying go again? Spice is quality of life? That doesn’t sound right, eh, whatever.
I ordered the Loco Box which includes twelve hard-shell beef tacos. I also bought one beef burrito, the spice variant, a small side of nachos, some cinnamon snacks, and a large drink. There is a reason for me ordering this much food, other than what my minimum wage paycheck can afford. But I won’t disclose that information right now.
Daisy on the other hand just had a small cup of water to sip on occasionally, which was free by the way. Compared to her, I feel like I am pigging out, which I technically am.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. “Are you not hungry?”
Daisy looks up from her cell phone and stares intensely at me. It’s not like she hates me or anything, Daisy always wears that expression on her face. Almost like she wants to bore heat lasers through someone’s head.
“No I am not,” She says as she emphasizes each word. “And even if I was, I wouldn’t eat any of this ‘food’.”
“Why? Is it not up to your standards?”
“Of course not!” Daisy says angrily.
She leans over and lowers her voice so nobody can hear. A pointless effort seeing that this place is crawling with Bear Neojins, it’s a wonder that I was able to be served at all.
“But that is not the reason I don’t want to eat anything here. Heard things, unsavory things about what this food does to people’s bodies.”
I arch an eyebrow.
“You are acting like Locos Tacos food gives you an extra limb. I can guarantee that this food is safe to eat.” I take a bite out of a taco.
Daisy squints her eyes at me. “That is not what I am talking about either. You're going to make me say it, are you?”
I tilt my head. “I honestly have no idea what you are talking about.”
Daisy's face flushes red. Why is she embarrassed? Surely is it not because she’s at a fast food joint, is it? I highly doubt any of her rich friends and family will come down from The Wall and see her here.
She picks up her phone and with supersonic speed, types away on the touch screen. Seconds later my phone vibrated in my pocket.
Did she honestly just text me?
I sigh a little.
I check my phone. The message reads: It makes you poop really bad.
I look up at her to see if she is being serious or if am I being pranked.
Judging by the fact that she is hiding her face in shame, I can assume she is one hundred percent serious.
I sigh again.
“Daisy, that is just an exaggerated joke on the internet. It’s not that bad if you compare it to other fast food places.” I take a sip of my pop.
I don’t see what the big deal here is? I heard from Adrain (Daisy’s older brother and my co-worker) that the nobility has surgery to get their digestive organs removed. Even then, we are both Acolytes to Avatars so neither of us has anything to worry about in that department.
As soon as I say that, some guy goes running past us to the public restroom. He is holding his butt and releasing some toxic gas as he runs. The bears that were there hurriedly grabbed their lunch and left the building. I can’t blame them because that even killed my appetite.
I feel embarrassed right now. Here I was telling my girlfriend that what she heard was nothing but an internet meme. I swear that the universe is always conspiring against me.
I hang my head in shame.
“You should be.”
After that disaster, Daisy wanted to leave immediately. And I don’t have the backbone to disagree with her so I threw away my food and left with her. To be fair on my part, Daisy stands easily over six feet two inches and is a Celestial. If she wanted to, she could easily lift me and hurl me into the deepest part of space without so much as feeling any resistance on my end.
I got up and threw my lunch away. It’s a sin to waste food according to the teachings of Lady Byakko. I’m not that religious of a person but I do hate throwing perfectly good food away. On the other hand, I hate having someone fart in my face while I am eating.
“That was a complete disaster,” Daisy complains as we leave the store.
It is around noon when we left Locos Tacos so the summer heat is already at its peak. Living in Utopia all my fourteen years, I know that I will get hotter as the day goes on. We haven’t been outside for no longer than five seconds and I am already sweating like I had run across the continent hundreds of times.
“It was that bad until the very end,” I say, wiping away the sweat from my brow.
“Whatever, it's over and done with. Let’s go somewhere that’s more exclusive. I’ll pay.” Daisy says with a commanding voice.
I am honestly surprised that she can withstand this overbearing heat with so much as a tiny bead of sweat trickling down her face. I bet it has something to do with the fact that Daisy is from the nobility.
“Are you listening to me?”
“Sorry Daisy,” I confess. “It is so hot that I was not paying attention. Do you mind repeating yourself?”
“I said let’s go to Le Morte on The Wall. My mother made reservations for my family all month, so we shouldn’t have to wait too long.”
She says as she begins to walk. Since she is taller than me I have to walk faster than usual just so I can keep up. It’ll be easier if I just float if I am being honest.
“That’s a little overkill for a lunch break, don’t you think?”
“Nonsense. What’s overkill is you exposing me to that filthy restaurant.” She says without looking at me.
“Besides that, I don’t think we have the time to go there.” I check the clock on my phone. It’s a minute before twelve-thirty.
“Don’t worry about a thing, I’ll make time.” We stop at a red light.
I don’t see how she’s going to accomplish that, but I would love to see it. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I take it out and read the text Frankie sent me.
Your lunch break is over, come back. It reads.
“Shoot. Looks like I have to head back to work.” I say putting my phone back into my pocket.
“What!?” Daisy takes out her phone and looks at the time to see with her own eyes.
She curses and hurls her phone back into her fancy purse that I can’t pronounce the name of.
“It’s OK, Daisy. We can just go tomorrow or whatever.”
Daisy stares at me for a few seconds before she responds to me.
“Very well, I’ll ask mother to extend our reservations until then.”
“I thought you had reservations for the whole month?”
“I meant for you and me,” she says as the light turns green.
“I better get going. If I am one minute late, Frankie will make me scrub all of the toilets.”
“Fine, I will allow you to leave without kissing me.”
Thank the gods for that. I am not the kind of person who kisses in public. It is awkward and nobody wants to see it. Besides, I get anxious when I am in a large crowd so I don’t want to think what a kiss will do to my fragile psyche.
“I’ll text you later then.” I wave at Daisy.
“You better,” Daisy teases.
With our goodbyes out of the way, I run all the way back to my job.
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