An Apology, and a thank you.
If the person that inspired me is reading this, I'm sorry I used every detail I saw in you. The details I gave were taken directly from you, so if this story causes people to consider you as being gay, I apologise. For the record, I do not think he is. As much as I'd like him to be, he never said so explicitly while in my presence, or while in proximity to me. I'm sorry if this causes any trouble for you, but everything I said was meant, and was quite literal. You are the most beautiful teen I've ever seen, and everything about what I saw enamoured me. Though we didn't share much time in proximity except for those nightly dinners, I can tell you are perfect, and anyone that has you is truly privileged. But most of all, I'm sorry if you caught any of my awkward glances at you. I couldn't help it.
Thank you for coming to this cruise. Your mere presence made crazy, and trying to act normal while next to you was exhausting. I was so afraid of what you would think that I ate everything on my plates, even the vegetables. You made me take so much care with everything I did those nights, to such a point I never knew I could achieve. Your mere presence made me a better person, and that is something little to no one can achieve.
But above all, thank you for wearing that blue suit on Gala night.
Also, thank you, my dearest mother, for being too sleepy to eat at eleven at night.
This was different. So much more different than before. Never before had I felt so anxious, so full of desire for a single person. I have seen my fair share of beautiful bodies, and had to make a giant effort not to be obvious about it, but never did I make such an effort to not look at a face as I did that night.
Because this was different.
He was different.
“He caused within me feelings I have yet to understand. The best way I can possibly describe is the following: every time he opened his mouth I wanted to scream into a pillow. Not of anger, but of desire. Knowing I was this close to him made me uneasy. I was truly afraid to be next to him, since I wasn't completely sure I could behave normally. His voice was soothing, the type that you can hear for hours without getting tired; the way the longer you hear it, the more in love you fall with it. The laughter was a delight to hear, and if ears could taste honey that is what they'd taste. A perfect volume I might as well add, not booming or too faint that you'd have to try and make out what it sounds like. His face didn't help either. Smooth features with a pale white face, beautiful golden hair, and eyes as green as emeralds. The two piercings he had over his right eye gave him the look of adventure, or rather one of not being afraid to try out new things. His lips were as smooth as the rest of his skin, and the scarlet colour made them incredibly appealing. The type which your body craves to know better with your own, and mine were craving those lips every second he was within sight of my eyes.”
I'll give it to my mother here, that discourse we had had made this cruise trip a lot more appealing.