The sound of rushing water filled his ears as Nathan looked up, he saw in the mirror himself, his dripping wet white hair, and wolf like ears on the top of his head. He stared into his deep blue eyes, “how did this happen?” He thought to himself “I was just a poor boy... and now… I am a king of an entire forest.” his eyes lowered to his pale pink lips, he rose a part of his lip to show his canine teeth were sharper than the average human. He lowered his lip and looked down at the rushing water from the faucet, and his hands and arms holding the weight of his body leaning on the silver sink. He lifts his left hand and his eyes follow as he turns off the water and watches the water drains and spiral round and round. His eyes follow the water into the hole and he is reminded of when he first came to the palace.

It was snowing lightly outside, it was the day before his siblings’ birthdays. They shared a day but not a year, and that day was January 10th. Nathan looked outside while sitting on a chair curled up and a warm torn blanket that his grandmother made especially for him on his birthday last year, his 4th birthday, his feet burrowed underneath himself as he watched the snow fall, he let out a big breath of air through his mouth that formed a misty cloud that disappeared after a few seconds, he felt an emptiness in his stomach. He looked around in the room, he was in the kitchen and looked into the other room, he saw his four family members cuddled up on the floor to keep warm with separate blankets. His eyes shifted around the room and noticed the clock on the wall reading midnight. He felt a sudden chill and wrapped himself in his blanket, then brought his hands close to his mouth and let out a heated breath to warm his pink fingers. He brought his hands together and tucked then between his knees and his chest. He looked again outside at the forest outside and was drawn in by the beautiful sight of the snow on the trees. A white wolf came from the forest, it’s blue glow resembled that of a spirit. The wolf’s head turned to Nathan and their eyes met through the frosted glass of the window. Nathan’s vision started to become blurry and the emptiness in his stomach betrays his strength as he tries to keep from falling over.

A loud thump from the other room wakes the family, the father looks over and sees Nathan on the ground and rushes to him and checks his pulse. Nathan sees his father's knees on the ground while he is bending over him. He is lifted by his father and carried to the bed while Nathan was shaking uncontrollably. He felt his father’s chest moving heavily and could feel his father’s heart beating rapidly, Nathan could tell that he was scared. Being held by his father made Nathan feel warm. His father set him down next to him and held Nathan close to keep him warm. Nathan fell asleep and dreamt of the wolf that he saw. He opened his eyes to two feet standing in front of him, he looked up and saw that it was his older brother. His brother was looking down at him, he could feel that his father already left, probably to help his mama. Nathan covered himself in his favorite blanket and shakily he got up. His brother started walking towards the kitchen, he started talking and his lip read “Breakfast time and then chores.” Nathan nodded his head and said “Ok.” His brother smiled and then ran off to the kitchen and as Nathan’s eyes followed him and looked up to his mom setting out a slice of bread each, while he stood there shaking from the cold. He slowly mustered up the strength to move one foot after the other and walked to the kitchen.

As he walked to the kitchen he watched his mom putting a piece of bread onto a plate and then she looked at him. Her mouth moved to form the words “Good morning.”. He responded “Good morning mama.” His head turned he headed to his chair and lifted himself onto it, his feet dangled off of it, not able to touch the floor. He lifted his head to look at his mother as she handed him the plate with the single piece of bread. He set it in front of him and picked up the piece of bread and brought it to his mouth and took a bite. It was stale, but still tasted alright. He felt a tap on his shoulder from his brother. Nathan looked at him as he pointed to his mother, he looked at his mom with a serious and concerned look on her face.

“You stayed up again last night didn’t you?” She asked.

Nathan didn’t respond and took another bite out of his stale bread.

She sighed. “You need to go to sleep at night so that you can stay warm and don’t freeze. What if your father hadn’t woken up to your falling on the floor? You could have frozen to death…”

Nathan had a sad look on his face and looked down. He thought to himself “She is always worried about me, I was born deaf, and I am the reason we don’t have much money..” He looked back at his mother and she was still ranting about how he needs to be more careful.

Nathan started to get lost in thought and was reminded of the wolf that he saw, it was beautiful and elegant, and it seemed to be gentle as well. Suddenly a sharp pain in his ears reminded him of reality, he held his ears in pain. He saw as his family members rushed over to help him. He brought his hands down and saw there was blood, and he became dizzy and couldn’t see straight, as he started passing out and falling off the chair but was caught by his brother.

His father came in from outside after being called by his mother. His father and brother helped him come back to his senses and his father picked him up in a blanket, his mother put his shoes on him and a hat. The room was spinning for Nathan, but he knew what was going on because it had happened before. A gust of wind suggested that he was outside, he looked around and to the forest, his eyes widened because he saw the wolf again, in the same place as before, just standing there. It was like the wolf was the only thing standing still while the rest of the world was spinning in Nathan’s eyes. It was as if time stood still for a moment, but Nathan looked away for a second and the wolf disappeared. He looked over to see his father’s chest while he was running to the doctor.

Nathan’s breath was heavy and his body was cold, his ears bled red and were in pain, and his chest felt like it was stabbed with a knife. His body had always been frail, he was born deaf and with a disease that put him in excruciating pain, especially in the winter. The cold weather made his ears feel like knives and his body couldn’t bear the cold, it was easier for him to freeze than any of his other family members. His father carried him to the doctor’s home, and

Nathan could feel the vibrations from his father pounding on the door worriedly, he could tell that this time was worse than the last times, both the pain and effects. There was a constant ringing in his ears, like bells, but every so often there would be sudden pain and the sound of a bang as loud as a gunshot. His body would crumble up to itself in pain, but it made his father worry even more as he pounded on the doctor’s door. The doctor finally opened the door and looked at Nathan, he got a sudden shocked and worried look on his face as he let Nathan’s father in. He could feel his father set him onto a soft bed, Nathan opened his eyes while his father and the doctor were staring at him.

Nathan grabbed his father’s sleeve and mumbled to him “It hurts papa…”

His father’s face was full of sorrow and terror. “It’ll be okay… Nathan…” His lips read.

He turned to the doctor and he came over to check his heartbeat and gave him some medicine, it was hard for him to swallow and nearly coughed it up, but eventually got it down. The doctor took Nathan’s father’s shoulder and turned away from Nathan. They were talking about something that they didn’t want Nathan to read their lips about.

The pain was so bad that Nathan passed out.

He had another dream about that wolf he saw, but this one seemed more vivid.

“Hello child.” The wolf said. Nathan was surprised, this was the first time he had heard a voice, even in his dreams. It was a deep and calming voice.

“H-hello..” Nathan raised his right hand to meet his bottom lip. He could hear his own voice, it was weak, and dry.

“W-where am I?” Nathan asked looking back at the wolf

“You are in a dream, but some dreams are forms of reality.”

“A-am I… Am I dead?” Nathan stuttered.

“No child.” The wolf laughed. “No, you are not dead, but something tells me, you think it would be easier if you were.. Correct?” The wolf was correct, Nathan always thought it would have been better for his family if he was not born, they would not have to eat stale bread every night and day. They would not have to worry for him every winter.

He lowered his head and nodded. “You are correct.” Nathan had dreamt of death before. He had thought it would be as beautiful as the falling snow.

“It is time for you to go back to your family child.” He looked up at the wolf. “I will be here child, we can talk more if you would like another night.” His voice started to echo. “Goodbye child, don’t give in.”

Nathan suddenly saw a bright light and then he saw his father and the doctor shining a light in his eyes.

Nathan turned his head away from the light and felt his father pull him in for a hug. He felt the vibrations from his father speaking something, but unlike his dream.. He was in reality where he couldn’t hear anything. He could hear his father’s heart pounding rapidly.