Prologue

Part of the lab exploded, and Mike sped across the grimy floor, he was scared -terrified even- of the ESMHHs (Evil Scientists Mwa Ha Ha), they were screaming: “Power down on the eastern wing!” and “We’re all gonna die!!!”

Mike thought to himself as he reached the lift, They are not the best of humans, he thought. He pressed the button using his forepaws and walked in the lift. The music played calmly while Mike tried to understand physics. He meowed, being in a lift of a lab that was about to explode was not the best, he found it very traumatic, Mike remembered home, how he loved home, with his friend Muppet, and his owners too. Mike remembered being born in a cat rescue centre spending countless weeks with his sister and then being taken in by his owners. That’s where he met Muppet, Muppet is a simple cat, He has a very strict schedule. The schedule is: eat sleep fuss repeat, looping on a daily basis, Mike loved him, Mike also remembers the small owners, they terrify Mike, the bigger small owner was his friend a couple of times, the smallest one though, they came home one day and scared Mike to pieces, though Mike gets on with the small small owner now - just a little bit though - Mike was finally starting to relax. The lift ground to a halt, the doors did not open, the lift was stuck! Mike tried fixing it, but it was too late. The lab exploded, Mike was flung back from the explosion.

BOOK 1

Amnesia

He awoke. scared and alone. Where was he? Who was he? What was he? Why was he? When was he? How was he? What’s this red stuff on the side of my head? He tried to think. life, fire, soil, air, water, death. He had so many questions, what is Fire, life, air water and Death? Why am I here? What is my purpose? but none of them could be answered, he couldn’t find anything else, he tried to do it again, He meowed, how did I do that? He thought. He tried making other noises from his mouth, “oooh, hungry for food cat!” he said, he tried something else, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat!” he exclaimed, nope - reminds me of a shark, he thought. He got up and walked along the field, a big green field, with white fluffy things in, something flashed in his mind, it said, ‘sheep’ he didn’t know what a ‘sheep’ was, maybe it was one of those white fluffy things, ‘sheep’ sounded like something you eat, not something that’s fluffy and white and was so adorable and went ‘baa’. He walked for a while and saw something, or perhaps someone, it was another fluffy thing, a fat, fluffy thing, it meowed, he could understand the meow, the fat, fluffy thing had said “Mike! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

“Hello, Odd-looking fat Sheep! Who is this “Mike” you are looking for?” he asked

“You! I think... No… You are Mike!” said the Fat, Fluffy Sheep-thing

“Me? I am NOT! Mike sounds like something you speak to and it makes it louder”

“No, no no no no no no no no, that’s a mic, however… YOU! Ye,s you! Are Mike Felisius Cattius XVIII!!!”

“You must be joking! I am no such thing!”

“You seriously don’t know?”

“Nope, I don’t know anything.”

“Super Mike! the saviour of Catville! Ring any bells?”

“I don’t have any to ring, except those white things are ‘sheep’ and you are a very fat, very mad sheep”

“I am NOT a madman! or a sheep, hmph.”

“What does ‘Don’t Know’ Mean? Oh! And who are you? If you are not a mad sheep, or madman as you call it...”

“Muppet Felix Cattiams-Burmeow III”

The ship rose from the hangar, General Dog laughed evilly, he has finally put his evil plan to pay off his student loan (and get world domination at the same time, but that was less important). “Without Super Mike here to foil my plans, I will finally pay back my student loan! And also get world domination but that’s nothing compared to PAYING BACK MY STUDENT LOAN!!!” Boomed General Dog

“B-b-b-but sir?” said Zac the Aboma-dog (Abomination-Dog) worriedly “Super Mike always shows up!”

“Well, make sure he DIES! I must pay back my student loan!”

“B-b-but sir-”

“NO BUTS!”

“What about Mega Muppet”

“We’ll just bribe him with food”

“But our spies found he’s been training to not fall for food ever since Super Mike disappeared!!!”

“Then he shall die too,” said General Dog solemnly

“W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what happened to Super Mike Sir?”

“I don’t know and I don’t want to know but- Zac? Oh… well he’s dead, GET LONG-DOG!!!!jeez, these Aboma-Dogs don’t live long”

“Me, a world-saving superhero? Tosh!” the cat said

“It’s true!!! Look, YOU ARE Super Mike! and I am Mega Muppet!” Said Muppet

“Well, if I’m him or not, I’ll have Mike as my name,” said the-newly-named-Mike

“Well, we’ll have to go on a monumental journey that we cannot record in a comic, but only a NOVEL!”

“Who are you talking to?”

“The readers!”

“Who?”

“The humans reading the book, of course!”

“I see no-one, and where is this ‘Book’”

“I know. I’m breaking the fourth wall!”

“What’s That?”

“I don’t know, maybe we’re in the Matrix”

“What’s that?”

“A human movie, on the outer shell of its soft insides or a “DVD” as the humans call it, there is a pink circle on there with humanese numbers on there”

“I think I know Humanese…” Mike remembered Cats, Teachers, School, Humanese, classmates, Sister. They walked for some time, they chatted to each other, laughed at their tales of hardship, friendship, fears of barbers, coming back from the dead, waking up in a big green field.

They found a town and ventured down to the fish shop, the fish seller got them a big salmon. Mike and Muppet ate it together, although Muppet ate more than Mike, “as usual,” recalled Muppet. Later they went to the forest nearby for some shade, it was hot today, Mike was sweating, Muppet was too but he said it was “Fish Sweat”. Mike said to Muppet, “Where there’s shade, there’s happiness”

“Just like Super Mike,” Muppet said happily

“You are getting really obsessive with this whole ‘Super Mike’ thing!”

“Like you’re not obsessed with getting your memory back”

“That’s a necessity”

“Yeah, right, like finding the LAST LINE OF DEFENCE AGAINST THE MOST POWERFUL FORCES OF EVIL ISN’T A NECESSITY!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD-” Muppet was shouting

The world faded around Mike as he closed his eyes

“HEY HEY! DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU DARE SLEEP ON ME!!!”

BOOK 2

The Dream

mike…

Mike…

SUPER MIKE!!!

There was a burning building, with fluffy things that looked like Muppet, but didn’t have the same colours, trapped inside. There was a big thing scaling it. The word ‘Robot’ came to Mike’s mind. Mike could tell it had evil intentions.

“Mwa ha ha poo-poo!!!”

“Get off there. It’s not yours, just share that”

“Shut up,” said the criminal “because I, Mutant Poop! Shall-”

Mike laughed: “You, are called… Mutant Poop?”

“Yes, I, John Privicuis Poopus Toiloutson II Will-”

“How can a Poop Build That!”

“Henchmen”

“What?”

“ATTACK!”

“Oh no, you don’t!” The henchmen were cornering him, getting ready to strike, Mike watched in horror as they came closer, and closer. Until they each pulled out a gun and fired, Mike closed his eyes, waiting for the end to come…

a familiar voice called “SUPER MIKE!” quite desperately, like they were going to save him, The world around Mike swirled away with the words “super mike” Trailing away as he awoke on the back of a Pickup Truck. He looked around, he was no longer in the town, but in the desert. Muppet was next to him, unconscious, Mike looked behind the truck, a 2000-foot tall tsunami was cascading down the desert, unable to stop. Mike watched in utter disbelief as the wave reached its watery arm over the Truck, it was getting closer by the second, Mike couldn’t wake Muppet, all Muppet did was say in a sleepy voice “mike, I’m having food want to come with me?”

Mike shouted, “We don’t have time for food!” then Mike noticed, Muppet didn’t move his mouth, was he telepathic? No, must be another dream, Mike thought, so he bit himself, he screamed as he woke up from his sleep,

Under the tree, good.

“Mike! Do you want some food? I was just about to go when you screamed ‘HELP! HELP! MUPPET WAKE UP!’” Muppet said mockingly, Mike saw that Muppet had thought He had a sleeping problem.

“You know you can't yell or scream out! He has eyes everywhere” said Muppet, “He will find us, you know”

“Who’s ‘He’?”

“SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HE WILL HEAR YOU!” Muppet shouted

“Seriously, who is ‘He’?” 

“The Creature who destroys cats as if they are a bug; my Mum used to tell me this story to make sure that I didn’t go wandering about.”

“But-”

“NO BUTTS!!!”

Later, they found a wooden door, propped up against a brick wall, after too much walking-walking-walking Mike thought, he bashed his head against the door, to try to rid himself of this curse of a repeating thought, he must, he must! Mike bashed his head so hard he was knocked out cold.

(Continued in part 2)