Tantrum pushes her red curly locks into a messy bun on the back of her head as she examines the client's red sweaty face.

Looking deep into the client's eyes, with a soft clairvoyant voice she says, “The cards are whispering to me about how uncomfortable you get in small hot rooms.”

The client’s eyes widen, “That’s true.” She wipes her hand against her dripping forehead and asks, “What else are they saying?”

Tantrum looks down at the table covered in an array of tarot cards. “Of course, of course,” she grabs The Four of Swords and shows the client, “the cards are pointing out that your lazy disposition and bad hairstyle will cause your ultimate doom!”

The client frowns at her from across the table in the dual fortune-telling and tanning salon shop.

Tantrum starts to explain the tarot reading, but Buggy, her own personal ultimate doom and business partner, interrupts her. “Nothing our crystals and lotions can’t cure.” She gestures to the racks of crystals and wall of tanning lotions, grabbing the closest bottle of lotion, “This rejuvenating serum cured Tantrum’s butt rash. Now imagine what it could do for your already lovely complexion.” She winks and makes a big fuss of rubbing the lotion into the client’s hand.

The client looks at Buggy, an abnormally tanned woman with enough hairspray in her hair to kill the ozone of several planets, with speculation. “It looks like just a bottle of tanning lotion?”

“Look at me, take my hand, do you feel how soft your skin feels?” Buggy continues adding a bit of whimsy to her voice, “With skin as soft as silk, men might actually want to touch you.”

Trying to take back the situation, Tantrum grabs the client’s teacup and clears her throat. “Let's see what your tea leaves are saying.” She looks at the bottom of the teacup. “After you chugged the cup of tea, the leaves left display the pig. The leaves show us the fates; therefore, the pig symbol tells us you will likely break the chair you are currently sitting in,” she says with a certain nod and adds, “and possibly more chairs in your future.”

Gasping the client’s sour face turns redder. Tantrum is no dummy, the client is unhappy. This can sometimes happen when reading someone's fortune. The future isn’t always pleasant, that’s why it is her responsibility as a psychic to make sure that every client leaves with a plan and the tools to handle upcoming challenges. Tantrum inspects the teacup further and makes a disgusted face, “Eww.” Composing herself she looks into the unknown, crossing her eyes, “Yes, yes, I can see, reaching out to a dentist should cure you of your dirty backwash.”

Setting the cup down she looks up at the client’s twitching eyes. Quickly she closes her eyes and shakes back and forth adding, “And stopping at a convenience store for eye drops should cure your umm eye thingy?”

Lousy, their mousy cashier girl, eagerly jumps up from behind her desk, “I’ve got some eye drops in my purse!”

Rummaging through her purse she pulls out a small bottle. The client starts to protest. Lou shushes her and tries to comfort her. “Don’t worry it's on the house, as in my house, which is my purse, which is def not my house, because that wouldn’t make any sense.” Lou stops and thinks for a second, “Ya, doesn’t make any sense.”

Lou grabs the client’s head from where she is sitting and positions her, so her eyes face their moldy ceiling. She begins to drop the liquid into the client’s right eye, “Just a couple drops—"

The client starts screaming while putting a hand over her eye “What did you put in my eye?!”

Confused Lousy inspects the small bottle. Cringing she says, “Oh these are eardrops, not eye drops.” She laughs awkwardly, “Sorry.”

Flabbergasted, the client stands up still covering her eyes. “Sorry is not gonna cut it!”

Tantrum, used to clients storming out, rushes to the front door. With the client’s bill already prepared Tantrum tries to hand it off to the client before she can get outside.

The client looks her dead in the eyes, and says, “You better get out of my face if you know what's good for you.”

Tantrum sizes the lady up, a lady who seems to spend her weekends doing CrossFit and besides chugging tea also chugs protein shakes. Deciding that verbal fights are her limit she says in her sweetest voice, “Your fortune will be on the house today as well, please visit again soon, and tell all your friends.” She crumples up the bill and opens the door for the client.

As the client walks past her, she hisses, “Trust me, I’ll be telling a lot of people!”

As the shop’s door swings shut, Tantrum takes in the shop’s crumbling wallpaper and old fortune teller décor they recycled from a previous psychic who unfortunately couldn’t predict a car crashing into her house while she was watching TV. Tantrum says a quick prayer to the late town’s psychic. Then finally, she looks at her business partner and employee, who seem to be set on making her life difficult, she breaks, “This is your guy’s fault,” she accuses. “At this rate we won’t be able to pay the rent on this dump. Both of you have got to stop bothering the customers!”

Lousy shoulders sag as she looks down and whispers, “It was an accident.”

Tantrum's heart softens for a second, until she remembers the eyeball fiasco last week, “Accident or not we can’t keep putting things into our customers' eyes!”

Lousy rubs the toe of her shoe on the ground and mutters, “The client asked me to last time.”

Rolling her eyes, Tantrum corrects Lousy, “No, when you grabbed a tiny bag for one of our giant crystals they asked, ‘Can you fit that into such a small space?’ not ‘Can you spit in my face?’”

Buggy taps away at her computer as she unnecessarily says “Give Lou a break. It’s an easy mistake to make.” She looks up and winks at the young cashier, “Everyone’s got weird kinks, and Lou just happens to be ready and willing to serve them. No harm in that.” She blows it off.

Lou blushes and looking back at Tantrum, asks, “What am I doing wrong? Should I flirt with the customers like Buggy?”

Before the leathery witch can traumatize the girl anymore, Tantrum gives Lou some wisdom she has collected in her 29 years of life, “No, just do exactly what we say not what we do, and maybe utilize your hidden talents.”

Lou thinks for a second, then she looks up with determination and says, “It’s not very hidden but I’m talented at hurting people!”

Buggy laughs, “That’s true and you always get the customers rushing out the door.” Then sarcastically laughs, “Maybe you can be our security guard?”

Giving Buggy a dirty look, Tantrum placates, “I’m sure you are good at a bunch of other stuff too.” Before she can say anymore Buggy’s phone starts ringing.

Buggy claps and grabs her phone. “Looks like I have a customer!” she says excitedly. “Everyone be quiet!”

Answering her phone she greets, “Your one-stop call, to call on the stars, that enlighten the moon, and bring you good news.”

Buggy starts listing all their services, “What can I help you with today: tarot reading, mind reading, palm reading, bedtime story reading.” She continues to list services her ADHD brain concocted, “I also offer horoscopes, matchmaking, manifesting, spying, stalking, hacking, fake dating, and when things go too far, we also offer hexes, sacrificial rituals, and worst-case scenario, necromancy.”

She doesn’t stop there either, forcing the poor phone customer to listen to her go over all the products they sell online. “We sell all sorts of stuff too: crystals, potions, lotions, charms, tokens, aura cleansers, and on the down low,” she mutters, “body parts.” Buggy laughs nervously and clarifies, “Animal body parts of course, like a rabbit’s foot for good luck. . . unless” she fades off. She pauses listening to the customer. Nodding she switches tack and gets flirty “You sound very strong, yes so healthy, and tall I mean short in like a fit manly man way.” Tucking a frizzy piece of hair behind her ear. “Seems your girlfriend might not have your best interest at heart.” She giggles, “Oh wow it's been that long since the last time.” Giggling some more she says, “Well you sound like you would be really good in bed.” Giggling so much Tantrum’s lunch wants to make an appearance, “Oh, stop you’re making me laugh too hard.”

A screaming noise coming from the phone interprets the embarrassing display. They all hear a woman’s voice yell into the phone, “Hussy, find your own man.” Then the phone call is disconnected.

Buggy rolls her eyes, “Women are so dramatic. It’s no wonder my customer needs a companionship reading.”

Tantrum looks at her suspiciously and says, “You’ve been getting a lot of calls like that recently.” Quickly she snatches up Buggy’s laptop to look at their website.

What she finds is somewhat disturbing. Their website has a photo of Buggy displayed half naked howling into a phone at a skyful of constellations and a moon that’s winking back. “Why does your ad look like you're selling phone sex?”

“Give me that back. And for your information, it’s an ad, it’s supposed to be eye-catching,” she huffs. “Many of my customers have complimented it.”

The front door to the store dings as a new client walks in.

Tantrum rushes back behind her crystal ball. “I have been expecting you,” she says in a deep voice.

Not looking up from her phone the customer responds. “Oh good, I want room 2 for 20 minutes”

“You’re here to use the tanning beds?” Tantrum says trying to hide her disappointment. This is a fortune-telling and tanning salon after all.

“Ya, room 2 for 20 minutes.”

Motioning to the front desk, Tantrum says, “Lou will be right with you.” She looks over to where Lou is supposed to be. Taking in the absent space she yells, “OMG, where is LOUSY?”