In this world that we navigate, it strives to pollute our once precious childhood reminiscences that we held so dear to us by twisting it into a deranged nightmare. Most of us are blind to the torment we face during those unruly times, simply living in the moments. But, that doesn't halt those around us to nitpick. No, it enables them to judge and pity us for those long-forgotten recollections of terrible actions we've done.
They cling... No, they sink their terrible claws onto those details, pulling attention to themselves in hopes of proving that they are a good person -regardless of how it makes us feel.
As they forget that innocence is like glass -delicate and fragile- and once shattered into a million glistening pieces, none of us can ever retrieve what was once us. It paves the way that'll make us stray from the path and bring a mounting sorrow to those who have nothing left to believe in. And, while we lose a piece of ourselves with each invisible crack that lathers our body, the lot of us will crumble apart like our purity to reveal the darkness that lied beneath our light personalities.
Society is just a cruel joke, there to laugh at us, the broken, who are left to gather the shattered pieces of who we once were. To fix ourselves and attempt to be who we used to be.
Why would people be so cruel?
What is the purpose of letting your inner child die?
These are the enigmas that we ask ourselves -amongst others- as the realization won't bring itself forth until many years in the future and sometimes it won't. The answers could stay concealed and forgotten within yourself.
Even so, we will struggle to build ourselves back up and laugh in the faces of those who degraded us. We, full of childhood innocence, refuse to bound our thoughts to what isn't in front of us. We soar through our lives free of the burden and guilt to be in blissful ignorance as few adults could do. The day we agonize over this will be when our honey-sweet illusion comes to a conclusion and we glide into the ocean of despair.
We, the hopeful, cling to those fleeting moments like grasping for a drifting balloon, floating away.
The only thing we know is the regulation the public placed upon us to smother our screaming voices.
Communities place heavy expectations on those who differ from who they are. They disregard new procedures and terrorize when our beliefs contrast with their own. They believe that will stop us from clawing our way up to the surface but we will prove to them that we are not lost souls wandering the endless tide of life. We are beings who deserve those brief bits of peace scattered about this meaningless existence.
We, the neglected, will erect meaning to our reality from the pieces left behind in hopes to reconstruct our tranquil past.
If we band together, then no one would be able to stop us from rebuilding mankind from the ground up, ignoring the embers from what once was. We will stand above those knocked from their high-horse. It will not be orderly because there will be bloodshed for the sanctity of our children. To protect the meek, the innocent, and the suffering with a better future.
Although there will be times when we become exhausted from making small development that simply gets relapsed by old thinking, we continue to reach out for the better things but never catch, always struggling. Because that's all we can do when our leaders regress what we made. Struggle.
We struggle to live.
To be us.
To convince ourselves out of bed.
We struggle and try to adapt but fail.
Just like a person confessing their undying love to their crush, we all sincerely wish to be accepted with all of our uniqueness we carry in our personalities. We change and develop into the beings they project us as but everything in us won't allow every last drop to dissipate and not have the falsehoods that they spew crowd our minds. It shrieks at us We do not belong, We are not welcomed. There is no use in trying to change the world around you. They will never appreciate you. So, with these thoughts, we fade silently into the mindless corpses around us and will others to take a stand as we watch modestly from the sidelines.
We come to the epiphany that we do not matter and there will never be meaning in our lives which melds our thoughts into those self-deprecating whispers. Someone else can do this better. There is no point in trying, you'll never do it properly. Everything you make is trash and you should join it in a fire. They anchor us to the bottom of our oceans and cover our clear skies with heavy rain clouds, locking itself away. There it slowly fills the pockets of our minds bleeding into our everyday lives until it overflows.
This causes one to isolate themselves and hide away from the world.
It makes us lose hope for a better life and succumb to the chaos of our minds.
We become desensitized to the world around us and ignore the obstacles life presents to us believing someone else will correct it.
Some choose to master the art of deception so those around them do not follow their footsteps but others feel so broken they wish to inflict others with the same wounds so they won't be alone in their misery.
This will cause us to do irrational things that fill us with regret. We begin to view ourselves as irredeemable abnormalities that deserve to be purged from this earth.
However, that is only a portion of the people, many do not care and believe you should even thank them for opening up your eyes.
We forget that we are human beings and lose ourselves under the mountain of grief. We try to scratch our way out from under hoping we don't crack from the pressure but we have a limited time to scrap ourselves off the pavement the world squashed us onto.
As we fight the force pulling us down to the bottom of our sea, we shove others away finding comfort in our solitude. There are those times we long for fellowship but we remind ourselves that we will only be deceived in the long run.
The few who are welcomed, are held within arm's length and will never truly know the extent of the turmoil within our mind. Most don't stay long causing us to close our doors in hopes of never having to go through that torment once more making healthy relationships arduous. The ones who remain choose to keep their distance not wishing to be dragged down and crushed under the pressure.
So, we, the guardians, protect those like ourselves who have faced similar hardships so we will know that we are not alone in this vast ocean of sorrow. We wish to bear these tribulations alongside one another in hopes of providing a safe beach away from our woes. To gift us with the happiness we desperately need and to remind us of that small child within. We give those like us fond memories and provide us with something to look forward to. To help us feel less lost as we struggle our way to the surface.
We wish for others to help us.
We just fear the repercussions of admitting we require assistance. Our insecurities overrun our thoughts causing us to retreat back into our shells.
We continue on the path we previously used in hopes that it will continue to assist us. However, over time, those old practices soon grow to impede us instead of healing and delaying the inevitable. We hide away from the world using those dated habits as a cover that slowly erodes and ignorantly deteriorates.
There are many who choose to wither away with this world, but there are some who choose to fight.
I, Freya Astrid Solveig, decide to fight and spread kindness despite the actions others have done to me.
Society forced me to do things I deeply regret but that doesn't mean I should wallow in self-pity. One should not forget from whence they came but one should also not be shackled by it. I choose to live in the moment and spread kindness to those who deserve it.
I may be mistaken as naive but, rest assured, I am not.
I am well aware that the world is shit and we are all going to die. I simply wish to make the world less terrible and die happily.
The world is filled to the brim with hatred and violence so can't we make some room for happiness and a little compassion?
I don't know about you but I would sell my soul to a demon to make such dreams come true even if he refuses to take it.
This battleground is deadly, but we, the confident, wear the blood well for someone so tender and this is always our nature. To give sunrise in the shadows. To splinter when needed. But we return to the water and it remembers us, embracing us in the only way the ocean comprehends how. With attention, it purred, How does your heart fare?
Do you slumber well?
Why have you not found peace?
They say that the biggest waves crash harder and leave quickly in a blink of an eye. La Sirene was the water, but, combatants, we were always a hurricane.
It reaches, grasping our hands, and cover them clean as it nourishes the skin and reminds me... We survive this life by loving deeply.
Comments (0)
See all