Where am I? Why is it dark? Is there something over my eyes? What’s going on?
Calm down, it’s alright. Your body is in stasis right now. It took a lot of damage and it needs to heal, so we’re conserving your energy.
Well, that’s alright then… For a second I thought you were… well… one of… them.
I can guarantee you that I’m not. In fact, one may say I’m the exact opposite. So, Barclay my boy, tell me. What do you remember?
I remember… pain. I’ve never felt anything like it before. Like my nerve endings exploded, like fire running through my veins, like my very being, blazing in a supernova before it snuffed out. I remember falling… a long, long way, still hurting, still not being able to open my eyes. Still can’t.
My eyes. My father. No, not him. Fuck him. My mother. She was a witch, I’ve heard. I remember her smile from old photographs, immortalized in sepia. I remember her husband’s smile, in that same photo. They held a baby, newborn, that was me. They looked so happy in that photo. I wonder if they’d still be happy if they knew what happened to me.
I remember… Walter. The Agent of Death. My godfather and guardian. My mother’s best friend until the end and thereafter. The closest thing I’ve ever had to a real father. A bit slow on the uptake, slower than me, even, but he tries. He cared for me. Cares for me. Misguided as though he may be. But I do love him. I hope he knows that, because I don’t think I’ve told him recently.
I remember longing. Longing for touch and play and laughter and friends. Longing for a life among my peers, as often as that group may shift. Longing for normalcy. And yearning. Yearning for another man to love me, hold me, cherish and satisfy me. Something, of course, a father figure can’t and definitely shouldn’t provide.
I remember… it gets blurry. There were exorcists, right? And there was an angel. Cherubim, Seraphim, I’m not sure, but it was one of the big wigs… but he wasn’t supposed to be there. But what… why… I don’t understand… What could he want with me? I’m just…
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