The pill bottles on the dresser waited for her to get up. But she lay there, her eyes soaked with despair. The fall leaves pressed against her window from the large tree in front. It was her favorite time of the year, but it was not her favorite hour, not even her favorite day or year. She was just there, holding hands with despair, wondering if anyone cared. 

Her phone buzzed against the palm of her hand, and her breath hitched. She hoped it was him—her boyfriend. She brought the phone to her face, and the notification read: 50% OFF ALL STUFFED PIZZAS. 

She sighed, laying her arm back down to embrace Lady Loneliness again. She called herself stupid; of course, it wasn't him. He was at another birthday party...or was it that he was to be out with friends again? It had always been them first in his mind, her last. 

Dead last, she corrected herself, remembering her conversation with him. She brought up her feelings and thought they could tackle the issue together. After six years, how hard could it be? But he swatted her down and said it was all in her head. He wasn't ignoring her. He loved her, he said as he handed her another plushie before leaving to hang out with friends for weeks. 

Maybe it was all in her head, she thought. But those words never satisfied the hole in her heart that craved more. Was there more to love than gifts and vacant promises? She wouldn't know. He was her first love. 

She lifted her shirt and attempted to press where her heart would be. But it wasn't there. Just an empty hole within her body. She allowed her hand to slip all the way through and touch the comforter that she laid on. 

Where has my heart gone? She questioned, removing her hand and setting it on her stomach. 

She thought back to when she noticed the small hole forming. At first, it was unnatural to see. She attempted to clog it with different items—bottle caps, small pieces of torn cloth, anything to keep herself from noticing that it was growing bigger. As the years whisked by, the hole had gotten more prominent, and now she was nothing more than a desert. 

Where had the love and passion gone for her family? Hobbies? For what she assumed was the love of her life? It seems to have run off with some person named Youth.  

Just then, a thought came to her. Maybe she should run away and search for her heart, too.