I sit up and let out a bland yawn from my dry mouth. My bedside is cold, but that is just like every other morning and night. The stillness of air and sound is deafening, absolutely sickening when suddenly I hear loud and heavy footsteps walking to the door. "Get your ass up! You shoulsd be at school." she yells in her drunken haze of words. If I am quiet enough, maybe she will go away I think to myself. I sit there waiting with a blank expression on my pale face. Sitting, listening, waiting for any sign of her being at that door.

When an outburst of kicks and punches begin playing right at my door step. "Do you have any idea how much you are hated Hayden. Your father is gone because you. Everything that has brought me pain was caused by you!" I placed my hands on my head rocking myself on my bed. How pathetic a sixteen-year-old rocking himself for sanctuary. She begins to yell louder, "what nothing to say? Open the door, act like a man! What if I-"

"SHUT the FU*K up! I am not him, HE is NOT me! AND YOU ARE ALONE!" I yell with a loud under growl. The house goes silent, she walks away almost silently and I let out I sigh. If I am being entirely honest I feel bad yelling at her because I know if she was sober... she would of been in tears hearing this from her son. And though I go through her bullshit every day, night, and evening I cant help but keep her title as mom. I cant with this anymore, every day waking up, falling asleep, and even in my dreams... is a nightmare. My dreams consist of nothing but childhood memories of the orphanage. I wonder what my REAL mother is doing. I glance at the clock an see it is now 8:00. "Crap" I wispier because I am still scared of her hearing me. I rush to get ready to school.