A Lure Of Light
Oct 28, 2022
Hi there! the first episode of our first webtoon is finally here! Thank you so much for reading to the end! hope you enjoy it, stay tuned for the next episodes and don't forget to like and leave comments! Sending so much love to y'all!
Scrittus
Top comment
Here from the discord to give some feedback! I think a cold open is always a good way to start a story because it gets the reader involved right away. However one of the issues with a cold open is that it doesn't give you very much room to explain what's going on. While in most stories that's perfectly fine, in fantasy stories it's a little different.
As a fantasy writer myself, I understand the need to explain how things work right from the start. The key is giving this exposition in an organic way that gives the reader enough information to fill in the blanks and understand- generally- what's going on before clarifying as the writer.
I think this comes through in your dialogue. It's a little robotic and the characters are currently talking as if they're trying to explain their world to audience rather than talking as if they live in that world. For example, when someone says "This doesn't look good, but we only need to keep the line until morning. Ghouls get significantly weaker in broad daylight!" That sounds like someone pulling the audience aside as opposed to a captain directing their men and reminding them of their goal.
Instead, you could have them say something along the lines of "Fear not their immortality in the night. Hold fast men! The day is almost here! When the light of the sun reaches them they will know death!"
It conveys the same meaning to the reader, but it's also a lot more immersive. Now, obviously you'd manipulate that dialogue based on the lore of your world, but it's an example of how to put yourselves in the shoes of the character and determine how they might phrase certain information.
I think the art is where this comic excels the most and I can tell that even if it is detailed it's not all fully rendered out. Choosing your battles is important if you want to keep a consistent and professional schedule for releasing the comic, so I hope this quality is at a level that won't burn you out.
Recommendation for you
-
Recommendation
Humor me
Slice of life 3.1m likes
-
Recommendation
Strange and Wild
Fantasy 789.9k likes
-
Recommendation
Copper eyes
BL 1.1m likes
-
Recommendation
Autophobia
Romance 980.5k likes
-
Recommendation
Do You Even Witch
BL 4.7m likes
-
Recommendation
Satan and Me
Drama 2m likes
-
Feeling lucky
Random series you may like
The Ninth Blade
2.9k views34 subscribers
Situated in a hostile and dangerous land the kingdom of Chaathalan needs to stay alert of its surroundings. The eight generals of Chaathalan through their might and their mastery of the eight elements have protected the Kingdom for a long time and they are considered heroes by their people. But times are changing and a new storm is brewing, will they be able to keep the new threats at bay?
Comments (7)
See all