Rain fell around me, so heavy it felt like the whole world was coming down with it. I wanted to call out to whatever God’s there was to make the rain stop but knew it wouldn’t matter. Whatever I did, nothing was going to stop what was happening. My breath came out in rasps and coughs, yet I couldn’t hear anything over the storm. Not my labored breathing, and not the beating of my heart. Slowly, painfully I raised my hand against the torrent of water that gradually rose around my body. Mud and blood caked my palm as I reached up toward the sky. Blocking some of the rain from my vision. It was odd really, to look out over a sky like this. The dark storm clouds rippled over head like they were alive, moving with the wind, or were the clouds not moving at all. I couldn’t tell as a flash I lightning danced across the sky. I watched it, finding it surprisingly slow. Almost like someone taking a brush and paining the bolt as it arched and stretched out. I followed its path through the heavens before it vanished across the horizon just beyond reach.
the flash of the lightning as it passed over into the horizon vanishing far out of reach. I couldn’t help but compare myself to the sight. Little more than flash in span of a horizon that knew no end. That’s all I was. Just like the lightning, one flash of light in the dark that would vanish as quickly as it appeared. Maybe that was a good thing. At least I was free now. Free of my doubts, free of my fears and free of the chains that trapped me. How could I ask for more than that? I was just one man after all. We reap what we sow. I thought as I took deep rasping breath. There was no reason to dwell on my past choices. Whatever came of my actions I had to accept them? There was no longer any point in regretting what I had done. It was silly to do so anyways. After all, I was a Mage. I knew from the beginning that I would be used and disposed of like this. I never had any misconceptions about what would happen to me.
I should be angry; I should rage against this injustice. Yet I couldn’t, I just couldn’t. I knew the moment my magic developed what would happen to me. Magic was an accursed power, a damnable thing that never should exist. All Mages in history were killed for it after all, what was expected to happen. Mages were beings of calamity, they cared not for what their actions brought or what was destroyed in search of mastering their power. I knew that is what a Mage was ever sense I was a child. Afterall like all Mages I had the same hunger as them. That deep wanting to grow my powers and take them even higher than ever before. Its what made Mages so dangerous, we would do anything to feed that hunger. So many times, had I heard of Mages who sacrificed people for more power that it made sense to me that we had to be killed. Yet, I guess like every other fool out there I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to live.
I did what every newly awakened Mage did. I hid, I kept my powers from being revealed and tried so desperately to live a life without magic. Sadly, I was just pretending to by time. Because once that Hunger grew to grate, I let my magic out in the only way an untrained Mage could. Explosively. I still don’t know how many people I hurt that day and I can’t stop imagining the horrified faces of all who saw me. A 15-year-old child standing at the center of a destroyed marketplace in the middle of the capital city of Cam’Lair. Needless to say, I was ran from my home. Chased across the Kingdom of Cam’lair like a wild animal. From border to border they hounded me as I tried desperately to hide. I don’t know why; it would have been so much easier to let them catch me and end my life. But as I child I didn’t know what else to do and I let my foolishness lead to this. Had I accepted my fate then and there maybe I wouldn’t have lost so much. I could have at least held my head high knowing I wouldn’t hurt anyone else and that my death would protect people.
Yet I didn’t, instead I ran and cost countless knights their lives in their desperate hunt for me. I spent forty years running, moving from place to place, Kingdom to Kingdom all to escape a fate that I could never outrun. At least I can say I lived my life to the fullest. I wouldn’t say I won at the game of life, no that would be a lie. But I think I did alright. I helped people, showed them not all Mages are evil. At least I think I did. Though I guess the fact I made enemies of countless other Mages across the continent of Demeir some could say I was the worst Mage of all.
Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now, I was dying. I would die and be forgotten to history like all Mages before me. Well not like every Mage. I thought as I used what little strength I had left to reach down to my belt. Slowly, I pulled a small wooden chip free from my belt and brought before my face. It was crude, a single wooden disk no more than a finger length around. On one face was a crudely carved shield while on the back was a child’s drawing of a dragon’s face painted on. I smiled at the little trinket. It was one of the very few gifts I had ever received in my life. nothing more than a child’s trinket. A small coin as the child told me at the time. It was amazing how something so small could hold so much value to me. I smiled at it as I let my arm shield my eyes from the rain. I wish I could return it that boy thank you for the gift. I want to go back and see him, to thank him for treating me like a person when everyone else had called me a monster. It was such a rare thing that the few times it happened were truly my most prized memories. Just as this little wooden coin was one of my greatest treasures.
I took a shaky breath as I let those pleasant memories dance through my mind, finding solace in them as I waited for the dark to take me. I just watched happily in my minds eyes as each memory of those who had been kind to me passed by as darkness closed in slowly around them. A laughing child calling me a hero. The weeping couple who thanked me for saving them from a crazed Mage. The old man who shared ale with me. Finally, the one person I had dreamed of most. Bright and beautiful emerald eyes all framed by fire like red hair that danced in the wind. I can still remember her face so clearly even as everything darked around me. I could still see her smile, soft but welcoming as she laughed or spoke. I wish I had the courage to tell her how I felt back then. I should have told her what I thought of her even if it was only for a moment. What a shame. I thought as the memory of the first woman I ever loved held me as I pass on into that deep dark. I couldn't say I was sad to let that Memory bring my end. In Fact, I was overjoyed knowing, that even if in just a memory I could tell her I loved her.
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