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To Be Loved

Fate Part 1

Fate Part 1

Oct 23, 2021

"You don't mean that," Sighed Remy, "You don't love her."

"What do you mean I don't love her, of course, I do. That's why I asked her to marry me."

"NO! You want to love her . . . "

Spencer paced a bit more, running his hand through his dark brown hair in frustration. Knowing the weight of his word 'want' carried a lot.

"I do love her and if you can't see that it's not my concern. I don't have to prove anything to you."

This was the only thing Spencer could think of in defense for himself. He loved her, period. He didn't have to prove that to anyone but her. As long as she knew it that's all that matters.

Remy shook his head, "Maybe you do love her, but you aren't in love with her." 

He could never be in love with her. Remy knew Spencer. He knew more than Spencer would ever admit. Even to himself. Like in this very moment, he could see that Spencer was trying to even prove to himself that he did love Katelen.

"Look I don't see why you're bringing this up now. It's not really any of your concern. It's my life if I want to spend it with Katelen then so be it."

"Spencer, I've been your best friend for how many years now?" Remy reached out, grabbing a hold of his arm to get him from pacing and to look at him. "You know she isn't the one you're supposed to be with."

So many emotions were running through the two of them. Remy opened up parts of himself that he has tried so hard to suppress over the years. All the deeper feelings he had that ran hard for Spencer. Feelings that were for someone he loved more than just a lifelong friend. Feelings he wanted to have returned to him. 

Spencer tried his best not to see those emotions in his eyes as he looked at him. Feelings he's felt at times himself but didn't want to acknowledge because he knew they would be reciprocated on both ends. Admitting those feelings was just too hard for Spencer to do. That part of himself died long ago, buried so deep within.

"Just because she might not be the one. Doesn't make you the one." Spencer's tone was harsh as he forced the words to come from his lips, knowing they were going to hurt Remy.

They did burn as they hit him, releasing Spencer from his grasp.

"Fine, do what you want. You've always been one to do that. Don't know why I thought it would change now." 

Remy was upset as he spoke, shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing. Playing it off as if he was just a concerned friend looking out for him. Wouldn't be the first time that moments slipped between them and got a little grey in the lines of friendship.

"Well, I got work in a little while. I just came by when I heard about what happened. Don't really know what I was trying to accomplish here. . . " His words ran off as he turned to leave.

Spencer opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped himself. Watching, quietly as he headed for the front door of his apartment. 

"Remy . . . " Spencer finally spoke up after he had gotten halfway down the shared hallway.

"It's cool Spencer. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine just gotta let the shock pass."

"No. Remy stop."

Spencer caught up to him, grabbing a hold of his upper arm much like he had done moments ago. Pulling, a little harder than he tended to get him to both stop and turn to face him in one motion. Remy was not given any time in-between the motions before he felt Spencer's lips on his own. Pressed hard, needing even. When his brain finally caught up to the action he was already pushing Spencer away.

"No. I'm not letting this happen again. I not being dragged in with some stupid action of attention on your part. Only to be left hanging and waiting for you to come around to me again. . . I can't."

Remy yanked his arm away from him. Truly meaning, every word he had just said. This wasn't going to be another hurt-felt trap, he wouldn't let himself fall for again. He couldn't allow himself to be the young dumb self he once was. Thinking for so long that in time Spencer would come to terms with who he really was and just be that man. 

Mad at himself for even coming to see him today. Thinking, that something would change. Jabbing the elevator down button multiple times as if it would come any faster. Stepping through the doors as soon as they open and pressing the close door button but Spencer squeezed in before he could fully part from him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't know why I even came. I'd take it all back if I could. So just drop it. I'm fine. You're fine. You're in love so it's done."

Remy avoided his eye contact. Spencer smirked to himself a little in the moment as he moved closer to Remy. Using his height in his favor to back him up against the wall of the elevator, pinning him in place.

"I . . . " Was all Remy could get out before Spencer filled what little gap there was left between them.

Lips pressed against his own once again. Spencer not allowing himself to be pushed away again. Feeling Remy fight against the notion for a few seconds before finally giving in to the kiss. Spencer parted his lips ever so slightly, letting his tongue run along the top of Remy's upper lip, asking permission after the fact. 

Feeling him melt just a little more underneath him as he opened his mouth, allowing him in. Remy has always and would always give into Spencer. It never failed and royally pissed him off each and every time it happened.

Sure Spencer wasn't playing all that fair at the moment. Forcing himself on top of him as he had. Thinking if Remy really didn't want the kiss he would have made that known in some fashion.

"You're not fucking fair." Breathed Remy as the elevator doors binged open on the bottom floor.

"Life isn't fair." Spoke Spencer with that same smirk on his lips. 

Moving away just long enough to hit the number seven to send the elevator back up to his floor.

"You're going to have to be late to work today." Spencer became his cocky self. Arching his eyebrow slightly as he pulled Remy in towards him by the front belt loop of his jeans. "Might even have to call out."

At this point, Remy was hooked into the spider web of what was Spencer. Gladly welcoming the attention that was being given to him. The attention he so badly craved to have. Even with his inner voice screaming as loud as it possibly could to stop it all.

"Will see," Remy smirked in response to him.

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CitrineMoonstone
Citrine

Creator

Part One of Remy and Spencer!
My fifth story, I can't believe it.
Honestly, such a joy to be able to share all of them with you.

#bl #boy_love #romance #Toxic #drama #relationships

Comments (5)

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Manna
Manna

Top comment

Um. Spencer just proposed to someone else and is now over here making out with Remy???

3

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Enter the lives of Spencer, Remy, and Jackson.

Spencer, struggling to come to terms with who he really is at the core before its to late.

Remy, unable to have the one thing he's always wanted and learning that maybe his cards were dealt differently than he saw them.

Jackson, a free soul that wants to ease the pain in the lives around him. Getting a little more than he ever imagine to get.

This story may contain some triggers for readers : Gay Bashing/Slurs, Strong Language, Abuse, Anexity, Pain, Drug Use, and Death. All parts containing triggers will be marked as M.
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33 episodes

Fate Part 1

Fate Part 1

712 views 25 likes 5 comments


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