'Walking on a thorny road, a thousand further a million times,

I have been torn apart, broken into unjoinable pieces..

Having heard a better day for a million times, 

Now I just want to rest alone forever 

Under the moonlit sky'

Having written these words I put down my pen. The poem that came to me effortlessly.. not because I had a skill like they say. But because this was what my heart spoke. 

Hari youka. A talented girl. 

A girl born in the famous Youka family. A family which is known to produce exceptional talent to the society. 

Hari Youka. A girl with exceptional talent. But as she continued to grow. The shine around her started to grow dim. 

She tried to shine brighter… A little bit more…. 'There's no way I can't be…. '

She started to fall. She started to give reasons. She didn't know and didn't believe herself that the things she was good at became less.. and less.. and less. The more she tried to hold on to something, the more easily did it leave her. 

Soon the things she loved became an excuse for her strength. 

"Will they accept me? Will I be able to win someday?... I.. want to… I want to be able to be good at something… please… please…"

Hari Youka. When she turned eighteen. It was gone. All that was left with her was the pen in her hand and the stars above. 

She couldn't make her parents smile. She couldn't pass her entrances. She couldn't win any competitions. She … She couldn't be free. Although she herself knew it was silly of her to think this way, although she kept her smile.. there was a big hole inside her heart that kept dragging her into emptiness. Pitch black emptiness. She no longer lived. She just breathed.. 

Hari Youka. The person who wrote the poem that came easily to her. If you're still wondering how this strange person is familiar to me. It's because unironically, it is me. And if you felt the poem had a strange conclusion to it…

It's because this will be my last poem. My last event that I will leave behind. It had to be 'something I'm good at' right? 

I folded the snow white page and put it inside an envelope. I turned the envelope and lifted up my pen. After a long breath the only courage I had was to leave a smiling emoticon. Two dots and a closed bracket. Like I always do right? 

Strangely enough I felt nothing at all. I went to the mirror and looked at myself. Before me was an 'over the average' tall girl with long hair. 

A girl with thin features and blonde hair. Pale green eyes which resembled her mother and a long nose and thin lips which resembled that of her father. 

'You got the good sides my girl', I thought to myself and looked again. A girl with a pale face and lifeless eyes. Lips that are tired of smiling and ears that have heard a million 'praises'.

I touched my face and had a faint smile. 

I wore my favourite skirt and top and walked away from the mirror. Catching small glimpses of myself through the reflective surfaces of the house. 

I walked at a steady pace with dead silent footsteps. 

I kept looking back at the corridors.. the corridors that had the paintings I made and have heard a thousand 'praises'. Unknowingly there was a strange sense that knocked on the doors of my empty shell. A nostalgic feeling that brought me pain. 

Strangely enough. I am used to it. 

I turned around swiftly and walked out through the door of the mansion. I walked out slowly, but quickly came in front of me; the gates of the mansion. The creaking sound of the gates.. so nostalgic. I turned back to look at the mansion and it was still glowing. Without any hesitation I stepped outside.

The streets were lit by the full moon tonight. Aah what wonderful feeling it is. I walked towards the mountains. Slowly. I remembered a thousand things that connected my childhood to these mountains. Most notably… 

Looking up,I saw a million stars shining down on me. 

I sat down at my favourite spot in the mountain. The cliff where you can see the stars prettiest and sung a little song..( 🎶twinkle twinkle little stars.. How I wonder what you are.🎶) , Now was there anything left? I thought hard and couldn't find anything more. 

I was still. Sigh!

(🎶 Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky.🎶)

I had a paper in my hand with a list of things written on it. I crossed the one with 'want to see the sing twinkle twinkle under the stars'

I smiled at the last one. 

'want to wish upon a shooting star'... Not possible huh? 

I smirked and crumbled the paper and threw it and the pen in my hand aside. I stood up and took a deep breath. 

Now where was I?! 

Yeah. (🎶 Twinkle twinkle little…!!!) And….

Just before me. It came down. A shooting star!!! It really did… I stood there with my eyes wide open.

Huh?!!! My cheeks felt wet.. Aah… I'm … I'm crying. Idiot.. I'm an idiot.. Why am I smiling and crying at the same time?

Alright then...as if it will work? I clasped my hands tight and said…"Aah shooting star. You were soooo beautiful. I hope to see more of you."

Just then I realised what a stupid thing I had done! Of course I couldn't see more of it!! Was I??! No. Before I start to hesitate it must be done. 

I took a deep breath and looked at the moon above me. 

Not looking down I continued to walk... Until there was no ground beneath my feet. 

Like someone tugged me suddenly from below, I began to fall. Everything seemed to slow down..

My heart beat so fast I thought it would break open and jump out of my chest. My stomach felt strange. 

Aah. So this is dying huh? There's no more tomorrow huh?? 

The sensation was too much and I felt like I was being crumbled. Aahhh.. this is scary!!! Aahh I don't want to feel like this.. My last moment regret huh? There's no going back....

But suddenly I felt this cold sensation. It's as if I had touched something cold. What was happening? 

Before I realised.. I was not falling. 

Huh???

I looked up and saw her.. 

"...hold on… come….eeenhh" , she said with a shrill voice.

That moment I knew...that I had died and born again… at the same time.