Episode one
Jan 20, 2025
Creator
1st episode of vicious little mission, more uploads soon! Stay tuned
Top comment
Your writing isn't too bad. It could just use a little more detail. You could describe your characters' physical appearances in more detail, for instance. People, when they're reading your writing, want to see your characters in their minds, and therefore, by expanding more on what they look like, you can help them. Also, I think you need to come up with a better opening line, something which will hook readers. Compare Tolstoy's "Happy families are all alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own fashion" or Grahame's "The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home." By coming up with a better opening line, you will be able to invest your audience more.
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