I love nature. I love nature and all the sounds it makes. The trees. The leaves. The wind. They mix together to create an unforgettable song. The song of the world. My own.

-

I quickly ran through the forest shrubs and all the plants there and thought "I can't wait to ask Tin!" and as soon as I saw the smoke coming from the chimney hood I knew I was almost home. I did a last sprint and found myself in front of my brother, who was moving the wood.

"What are you doing?"

"You see it. I'm moving the wood."

"Come ooooon... Come with meeee."

"No."

"Please..."

"I'm working, Nina. Enough."

"But you don't even know what I want to show you."

"What do you wanna show me?"

"It's a secret!" I concluded, laughing.

I knew that Tin, being the curious boy he was, would follow me. So, we ran together through the forest as fast as we could, knowing well that our father would be angry when we returned. I don't know how long it took, maybe around ten minutes. Back then I had no sense of time.

At a certain point my eyes lit up. There it is.

"There! Look!" I rejoiced, pointing excitedly at the bark of a tree.

"But it's just a tree. Don't tell me you wasted my time for no reason."

"No, no, Tin, look carefully. Don't you notice anything different about this tree? Looook."

He slowly, slowly approached the object of my emotion and scrutinizing its bark he noticed some small incisions on it. But his face was confused, he wasn't sure what he was seeing.

"So? So? What are they?"

"They seem to be letters. But I don't understand the meaning. This one here" said Tin pointing to the left "is an F and this one" pointing to the other side -"is an S. I don't know what the sign between the two is. Maybe a small T. I don't know, I've never seen it before. And then this big circle that surrounds them, I don't know what it is. Why is it pointed at the top and bottom, downwards?" he mused to himself.

I remained silent, amazed by my discovery. And by the fact that, as I suspected, what I had found were indeed letters.

"In any case, all together it would read "FtS", but it is not a word. I don't know. Maybe an ancient language or something."

"Like? Like from when?"

"What do I know? Now enough, let's go back or dad will kill us."

I nodded, after all I had discovered what I wanted to know. How exciting it was! Letters! I had seen them a few times before, and always and only from afar. My father did not want to teach me the art of reading. For me it was an art that I wanted to understand more than anything else. He said that it was only passed down from father to son and I was a woman. How unfair. I was much more interested in reading than Tin.

Once again we ran into the greenery and, seeing the smoke coming from the chimney, I got scared. What if dad had already returned? He really would have roasted us both. Instead, to my surprise, there was only Mom at home.

After leaving Tin to his manly chores, I looked at the window and greeted Mom with a big smile. I hadn't seen her all morning. She and Dad had left early to head to the market and then to the Family Meeting. I opened the door and threw myself at her, wrapping my arms around her.

"Hi honey, are you okay?" she said in her sweet, melodic voice, which seemed to lull you more and more with every word.

"Everything's fine" I said, tightening the hug even more.

"Hey, you're suffocating me like this" Mom started laughing "Are you sure nothing happened?"

"Very sure" I smiled, but she knew I was lying. I released the hug and set my mother free again. I threw myself on the couch.

"Can I sleep at Crusty's tonight?" I said very casually, hoping she would say yes without thinking too much.

"No." she replied coldly "I already told you."

"But why?" I started to complain.

"I already told you why. I don't like that place, it's dirty and small. I worry about your health."

"But I'm fine."

"Now you're fine, but who knows how you'll be in a few years."

"Always so stressed..."

"The answer is still no."

"Ugh." I gave her one last kiss and ran to my room.

I couldn't even stay in my secret hideout anymore. At Crusty's. I loved Crusty, she was my best friend. I called her that because of her eyes, which were always full of boogers. She had the softest white fur and such soft ears. What was there not to love? Even the world knew she was too perfect. That's why it took her away from me. My bunny. Thinking about her made me cry. It was like that every time, I always wanted to cry. So so many tears fell and I found myself curled up on the bed, wetting the pillow.

I fell asleep.

Then I had a dream, one where I lived in a world of bunnies, all hugging me and dancing in circles.

Then BAM! 

I woke up, the sunlight now red. My father had arrived. I left my room and headed towards the entrance. He was there, big and burly, taking off his shoes with particularly furrowed eyebrows. Something had happened.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hi Nina, everything okay?" he continued unlacing his boots.

"Yes, yes. But Mom won't let me sleep at Crusty's."

"Listen to your mother, then."

"Please, it's been a long time since I've done this. I miss her." my father stopped and looked me straight in the eyes "Did you help in the kitchen today?"

"I made breakfast for me and Tin this morning."

"Then it's fine. You've done your duty. You can sleep wherever you want. That's your reward." my father sighed and continued undressing. My mother, from the kitchen where she was preparing dinner, came to the entrance, angry.

"Honey! You know why I said no to her. No is no."

"Mia. I am the head of the family. The decision is mine. The end."

"But..." Mom looked at me disappointed. I apologized with my eyes. I didn't want her to argue with Dad, but at least I got what I wanted. Sorry Mom.

Tin came back into the house. He was all dirty, he needed a good shower. "I'm going to wash up."

Dad nodded and sat down on the couch, while Mom went back to cooking. He put his hat down next to him and sighed deeply. Something had happened. I moved the hat away and sat there, with my arm around him.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about. Some argument with the neighbors."

"Pam and Mik?"

"Them."

"Oh, yesterday I happened to be passing by and they let me in. They even gave me some bread and soup. They're very kind. More kind than all the others. Pam even told me about her life. Did you know she has ten brothers? Incredible. And Mik has six. How can you have so many children? I really like them, though. Oh. I lost my train of thought. What happened?"

Dad looked at me for a moment, then answered "I was so busy with work this afternoon that I didn't realize I had cut down some trees in their territory. Those two weren't very happy. Not very kind."

"Well, if you had invaded their territory it was to be expected."

"I know. But they worry me. I didn't like their faces at all. And you know how envious they all are of our woodcutting skills. People are mean, Nina, never forget that. Anyway, tomorrow I will try to request another Family Meeting. To resolve the situation." he stared into space for a while. I could see that he was stressed. Then he started talking again. "What about you? What did you do today?"

The question took me by surprise, it wasn't typical of dad. He usually didn't care about others. It was clear that he was very upset.

"Do you want the truth?"

"I don't like this question."

"Come ooon."

"Tell me."

"I went to the forest."

"Nina. You have to stop, it's dangerous. Especially for a girl."

"But you know I won't stop."

"I know, but I have to tell you anyway. You're still my daughter."

"Anyway, I went to a different area. Towards the stream, but to the left, and I made an incredible discovery."

"What?"

"Letters! Carved on a tree! Tin even confirmed it to me." 

I shouldn't have said that.

"Tin?? Are you telling me that he stopped his work to entertain you??" his expression darkened "I absolutely have to talk to the boy. There will be consequences."

"No, Dad, wait. I forced him, blame me."

I didn't want Tin to suffer because of me. He would have become unbearable.

"We'll talk about this later. Continue. What was written there?"

""FtS" Tin said."

"It doesn't mean anything."

"I know. He says it could be an ancient language."

"Maybe."

"And then a strange circle that surrounded everything. Like this" I leaned on the table and tried to recreate the symbol with my hand.

"It could be a heart."

"A heart?? Like the ones we carry inside?"

"Maybe. I remember that Grandpa would draw it sometimes for Grandma, as a symbol of love."

"Amazing! So "Fts" would have been someone or something loved!"

"Maybe."

I felt like the time was right. Dad was strangely calm and I was strangely confident.

So I said it.

"Dad..." I whispered softly.

"What is it?"

"I want to learn to read."

"No. You are a girl. You can't. My ancestors wouldn't let me. You know that well." he responded quickly.

It didn't work.

"I know. But I am so interested in the world of reading. Much more than Tin is."

"It doesn't matter. I have to follow the tradition." then he stopped. I could see he was thinking long and hard about something. What could it be? My father was usually a simple guy, but that day he kept surprising me. He was unpredictable.

"Let's do this. You've asked me several times and I am not a man without empathy. I love you as a daughter, Nina." he stared straight into my eyes, a small grin forming on his lips "If you behave like a model girl for the entire duration of this year, without going into the forest or anything, I will reward you. On your fifteenth birthday I will teach you to read. One letter at a time. And if you continue to be good, I will teach you to read words and everything else, until you become the perfect woman and wife." he said, thinking that I would complain or say no, and that therefore he would win. But it was not like that. He did not know how interested I was in reading, how hungry I was for those letters.

I didn't even have to reflect on it.

"All right."

"How is it all right??" he was stunned "Are you sure? It will not be easy for you, Nina."

"I know, but it does not matter. This is the greatest gift you can give me and I will accept it. I won't throw it away. I know its worth."

He smiled.

"Okay then, you were surprisingly mature. Where has my boy-daughter gone?" he chuckled, as he grabbed me by the head and began to ruffle my hair. 

Dad had calmed down considerably. Maybe Tin would survive his anger.

A delicious smell was coming from the kitchen and the sun had now completely disappeared. My brother had also returned. We all ate dinner together, happier than on other days. Then it was time to go to bed. I crawled under the couch and into Crusty's hiding place, an opening in the wooden floorboards. Big enough for a fourteen-year-old girl to fit in, but not big enough for the couch to fall in. Crusty always crawled in there. 

I noticed that Mom had put a pillow and a blanket there, to keep me warm that night, despite the argument we'd had earlier. Thank you. I loved my Mom and I loved my Dad. And Tin, too. Sometimes.

I waved goodbye from down there and went to sleep. My dream about fluffy white dancing bunnies resumed. Argh, I was terrible at dancing. I'm agile, yes, but the coordination it takes to do those steps is something else entirely.  Not my thing.

I was sleeping so soundly, so peacefully.

...

...

...

...

...

And then BAM!

What?

What had just happened?

The noise rattled the couch above me. I froze. It was the middle of the night, what could have happened?? I heard footsteps. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. I lost count. How many were there? Too many. Who were they? It didn't matter. I heard two strange noises. Then screams. It was my mother. Then nothing. Nothing? How was that possible? From down there I saw something. That I didn't want to see. 

My mother with one eye open and the other closed, staring at me, but not looking at me, looking beyond. Then her hand, repeatedly stomped on by a boot, and her neck that was now painted crimson. She had tried to put her hands there, to her neck, but they wouldn't let her. They stomped on them. How cruel. And so she was left with one eye closed and the other open, and she was looking at me.  Stop looking.

Then there was more commotion. A fight perhaps. But it didn't last long and I didn't see anything. It wasn't near the couch. 

Then silence. And the footsteps. One. Two. Three. I lost count right away, I was too confused and upset. 

I heard them say something.

"One is missing." said a voice.

"She's not here." said another. 

But wait.

I knew that voice.

It was Pam.

Ten brothers.

Ten brothers?

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. 

The numbers added up.

"Let's move, then. Let's look outside." and this was Mik. For sure. 

Six brothers.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And six. 

The numbers added up once again. There were eighteen of them in total. Eighteen against four. We couldn't win. 

And now, eighteen against one. I couldn't win.

They all quickly went out and, with their torches lit, began to search the forest, thinking that I had definitely gone there, since there was no sign of me in the house. I took advantage of the opportunity. I crawled out of the couch and saw my mother's lifeless body, then my father's in front of our room, and finally his, Tin's. Dad had tried as hard as he could to protect him. His wounds were proof of that. 

I felt like throwing up.

And I felt weak.

I couldn't take it, I couldn't leave. That was my home and that was my family. We still had so many adventures to go through together, it couldn't end there. Like this.

Exactly.

It couldn't end like this. No. I had to live. I had to carry on their memory. My family, so they could live through me. Exactly. Just like this.

So I ran. I didn't take anything and I ran. I jumped out the window and ran. Towards the forest, towards the night. As I ran I heard a strange noise, but I didn't turn around, I saw it anyway. The house was on fire. I felt it, I saw it. But I ran. And I ran. Until the only thing I saw wasn't darkness. And then I stumbled. I rolled for a long way, I think down a cliff. I hurt myself, badly, but it didn't matter. I had to run. I tried to get up, but I couldn't. 

Run. 

Run.

My leg had taken on a strange, unnatural shape. It hurt too much to put it down. Then I heard the sound of water. 

The stream.

I crawled and got all muddy, from head to toe. Then I finally got there, looking for water to drink.

Instead I saw the unexpected. 

An angel?

A boy was washing himself in the stream in the dead of night. I could barely see him, but I knew what he was anyway. He seemed to have descended from unknown worlds. And he noticed me. The being saw me, in pain and confusion, and the only thing he said was:

"I thought I was finally alone."