Amery

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My name is Amery Lee. I’m an ordinary twenty-four-year-old woman with a moderately successful MeTube channel that gets several thousand hits a day. I make music videos, singing, recording and mixing the tracks right here in my apartment.

This kind of career suits me perfectly, because as much as I love singing and playing, I am hopeless on a stage. Live performances are just not possible; live anything, is hard. I have the kind of personality more suited to communicating with people through a screen.

I don’t have many real relationships. All my boyfriends are 2D male leads found in comics, shows, and especially otome games. When I’m not working on a new song, I spend my time logging countless hours on every romance sim game I can get my hands on. For me, being with my 2D boyfriends is not a hobby. It’s an obsession.

I am in an especially giddy mood today. A new otome game I bought online is supposed to arrive soon. I was frustrated when I realized it wouldn’t download immediately, that I’d have to wait for a physical copy of the game to arrive— what decade is this? I’ve been tracking the package since I placed the order, checking my phone for updates every few hours, so excited I could hardly sleep.

I check my MeTube channel while I wait to get my mind off of it, check the status of the latest song I uploaded, my cover of ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’ by Elton John. 50K views already, and more than three thousand likes. I don’t check the dislikes; it’s too scary to think that people don’t like me. And of course, the comments are turned off. I feel sad to know I’m missing out on people’s positive reception of my music. But for every one hundred good comments, I know from experience that a single negative one will ruin my week. Criticism is scary, too.

Ding dong!

My package!

I jump up excitedly from the computer and trip over a pile of comics on the floor. Fortunately, I land on my bed, though that too is covered in comics. Brushing myself off, I hurry on to the door, opening it to a weary young man in a khaki uniform.

“Delivery for Amery Lee?”

“That’s me,” I murmur, my eyes instantly falling to the floor. In my excitement, for half a second I forgot to be intimidated by this stranger.

“Sign here.”

I go through the motions all without meeting his gaze, suddenly painfully conscious of my stained gray sweatshirt and purple track shorts, and of the mess of cup ramen packages strewn about the floor behind me.

The short, meaningless interaction ends, and I disappear back inside my apartment, leaning against the door and clutching the package to my chest, feeling anxious and completely drained.

I take a few calming breaths, willing my heartbeat to settle down. Then with a fresh burst of energy, I run back to my computer, tearing through the packaging with uncontainable excitement.

I squeal when I open it, and I practically have to wipe drool from my face as I stare at the cover.

Court Captive, the title reads. Even though it came in this format, I know it must be a new game since I’ve never heard of it before, and when I bought it online there were no reviews. At first I was a bit suspicious, but the artwork is too stunning for it to be a fake, with six male leads, each more gorgeous than the last.

I brush each of their faces with my fingers in turn, trying to guess what their personalities will be just from their expressions. This one with the red ponytail and relaxed, sensual grin, he’s definitely the playboy type. And the serious one with the platinum blonde hair has to be the prince. This one with the earring is the bad boy, this one is the capable older man type…

Ah, I can’t wait anymore! I want to meet them all now!

“Hullo. You must be the Teraran princess. So you’ll be staying with us in the capitol for the time being, hm? That’s good news for me. Oh, didn’t I introduce myself? Duke Felix Percival Fortescue Chatwin Todt, at your service. Ah, but you may call me Felix, Princess. Or your future husband, if you like. Sorry, was that too forward?”

I squirm with delight as the gorgeous-faced duke chuckles warmly and winks at me. Felix looks even better in-game than he did on the cover, especially in his training clothes, with a rapier strapped to his waist and the top few buttons of his linen shirt undone. I was right when I guessed him to be the playboy archetype, not my favorite usually, but when it came time to choose my first character, I just couldn’t get over that beautiful red ponytail and Adonis face.

This game really is something special, I think. His features are so lifelike. The way he blinks, the way his eyes shift and gleam, as though they were looking directly out at me from the other side of the screen. As though he were a living man with a soul, and not merely some 2D character. Ah, but that’s just wishful thinking on my part, I think, making a save as I come to my first conversation option.

Sorry, am I bothering you? Or: Excuse me, I’ll just be going.

I’ll select the first one this time, and play through the story like this. But I’ll go back later and select the second option, just to see the way the story changes. Each of these options affects the gameplay of the character, unlocking different pictures and endings depending on how his relationship develops with the female lead. And I want to see it all. Every last side of Felix, every last hidden feature. And not only him; I’ll do the same for each of the male leads in turn. I’ll save like this and load, playing through the game however many times it takes just to savor every last detail, because I adore these characters.

Ah, but there is, of course, one other reason I play so obsessively…

There’s an intriguing character that shows up from time to time in every scenario, one who wasn’t on the cover or the title screen. He’s a big, frightening, dark faced man dressed all in black, with eyes like coal and faintly curling, inky tresses. Handsome, powerful, dangerous; he’s Court Captive’s villain, Artair Cain.

It’s his eyes that first catch my notice. The dead, hollow eyes of a man that’s been broken so many times he’s lost what it means to be human. And yet, there are flashes of brilliance in them that captivate me, thrilling me with unexpected attraction. In moments I see untamed savagery in those eyes. And in rarer moments, indescribable loneliness.

Who is he, really?

As Court Captive’s villain, Artair is a central figure to each character’s plot. As I play, little by little, his story unfolds, but never completely. I become desperate, determined to learn it all, to know him intimately, as I know the others. To play through his story.

There is a chance. In otome games, it is sometimes like this. Once you unlock every single ending with each character, there is sometimes a secret character waiting to be unlocked. The game didn’t give any indication this would be an option for Artair, but I have to try.

I binge Court Captive for days on end, like a woman possessed. I take little breaks to work on my music to keep my regular upload schedule, and occasionally I stop to sleep, but for the most part I do nothing else but click through the game. Then at last, after nearly two straight weeks of playing, the words I’ve been praying to see finally load across the screen.

Congratulations! You’ve unlocked Artair Cain’s secret path!

I’m so thrilled when his picture appears on the home screen alongside the other male leads I actually jump up and run around the room in excitement.

I got him!

But, as I settle back into my computer chair, it occurs to me I face a real problem.

The date in the corner of my desktop reads June 3rd, 12:35 AM. I didn’t sleep much the night before, and I’m coming up on my deadline to upload a new video.

This is hardly the time to dive into a whole new storyline. What I ought to do is get some sleep, so I’ll be fresh to edit my song tomorrow. Then after a good day’s work, after the video is uploaded to MeTube, then I can play Artair’s story. That’s what a responsible adult would do, anyway.

But no one ever said I was a responsible adult. I’m addicted to this game, to these handsome faces and the intricate love stories that carry me away to the rich, vibrant land of Contrarian inside Court Captive. I want more of that feeling, I want the thrill of falling in love all over again, now at last with my dear villain that I’ve worked so hard to unlock. And I don’t want to wait.

Greedily, hungrily, I mouse over Artair’s face to highlight his story.

And I click...