Huff, huff.

There I was, coughing and wheezing as I choked on the cloud of dust slowly settling around me. Surrounded by the all-too familiar dreamscape of a ruined building, red and blue lights of nearby police cars blending into the clouds of smoke.

It’s just a dream. I reminded myself as I clutched my head, trying to soothe the ringing reverberating through my skull. I dragged myself back onto my feet and observed my surroundings. Everything was the same as usual. Dead bodies littered the area, burnt beyond recognition. In the center of it all were the figures of two small children, no older than six years old. 

Even though it was just a dream, it felt so real. My limbs were much longer than usual, and my voice sounded deeper as I groaned in pain. Yet, nothing felt out of place. It was as if I was possessing an adult’s body.

As I approached them, I winced at the scene. No matter how many times this dream played out, I couldn’t help but look elsewhere as the older child begged for help. His head was buried under rubble, and he was bleeding profusely from everywhere you could imagine, and yet he still begged for someone to help his brother.

“Please—” he croaked. “save █████. Save my brother.”

I rushed towards him, ignoring the distorted name of his brother. The rubble and debris felt like anchors in my hands, causing me to strain as I clawed and ripped at the rocks. No matter how much I uncovered, it felt like more debris began to pile up. Even if it was fruitless I knew I had to continue, otherwise the guilt would eat me alive. Eventually, for the first time, I uncovered his mangled body. 

“█████. You need to save █████.” His voice was barely a hoarse whisper at this point. The distortion of his brother’s name sounded like TV static in my head, but it gave me a fuzzy sense of deja vu. 

I slung the boy on my shoulder as I looked around for his brother. My heart sank as I found him. My breath stopped momentarily, causing me to choke and struggle to regain control of my ragged breathing. I couldn’t see his brother. In place of where the younger brother should have been was a distorted black and gray mess, yet I felt as though I was looking in a mirror. I recognized myself.

“█████, wake up,” someone said. The voice was an ancient whisper, gravelly and hoarse, yet rich and full of color. A chill ran down my spine as it repeated itself. It was coming from behind me. I whipped my head around to see a shadowy mass, much like the distorted body of the younger brother, towering over me.

It grabbed the boy on my shoulder by the hair and dangled him in front of me. The boy’s limp body dangled helplessly from the shadow’s grip, swaying in the wind. His eyes were beginning to glaze over. I desperately wanted to reach out and free him, but my feet were stuck to the ground— No. They were missing. 

“You couldn’t save him again,” the shadow said before swallowing the boy into his body. “Wake up—”

“Atlas!”

I shot up in my bed with a scream. My breathing was shallow and erratic, causing me to hyperventilate before I slowly began taking deeper, slower breaths. I blinked quickly, looking left and right to reorient myself. My heart screamed, threatening to beat out of my chest as I noticed my best friend sitting on the edge of my bed.

Her name was Akari Chisuke, the daughter of my dad’s best friend, the hero known as Bloodborne. Sunlight flittered in through my blinds, illuminating her crimson hair. She stared at me with her large almond eyes, almost like I was something to be studied.

“You alright? You’re sweating a lot,” she noted.

“I’m fine, Kari. You know how it’s been ever since my mom died. Same nightmare all over again.” I said. 

I grabbed the edge of my blanket and wiped the half-dried tears away from my face. I turned away as I hesitated for a moment about whether or not I should tell her about the new part of the dream, but before I got the opportunity, she grabbed my wrist.

“You’re not fine. Something’s obviously different. This isn’t how you usually react.” 

She put a hand on my shoulder and I felt my heart rate instantly slow. I smiled. No matter what, she was always the sun that shined through fog for me. I didn’t want to burden her with my problems so I changed the subject.

“You know how it is. Big funeral, social anxiety. Not the greatest combination.” I said with a sad smile. “It just always feels like I’ve let everyone down, even if I haven’t done anything.”

“That’s literally not your fault, though. Just try not to think about other people too much. Your dad even said if it was up to him that we wouldn’t have a state funeral.”

“Speaking of which, I still have to change. You gotta stop breaking into my dorm to wake me up,” I said, pulling my blanket up a little to hide my bare chest. Even if we had known each other since preschool, I still thought of her as a member of the opposite sex. 

“Your dad called and told me to make sure you weren’t going to be late. He wants you to carry your mom’s photo at the front of the procession,” she said with an apologetic smile. “I’ll wait outside the door.”

After she left, I quickly wore the black suit and tie my father provided. I took a look in the mirror to see if everything was in order. I found my gaze lingering on my silver-blue hair, which seemed much more gray than usual, reflecting my mood. With a deep sigh, I began walking to the car prepared for Akari and I. As we left the building, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I could tell we were being watched by the other kids in the dorm. Of course we were. The children of two of the top world heroes, heading to the funeral of another top hero, who coincidentally was also my mother. 

I hated the stares. To me, people watching me meant they had expectations of me. Expectations that would soon be betrayed due to my lack of a gift. While my dad had the ability to manipulate steel feathers from his wings, my mother had complete control over the elements. I had nothing, and people wouldn’t be able to hide their disappointment when they found out. 

I quickly slid into the car, turning to face away from the dorm building to try and block out the stares. Akari must have been able to tell something was bothering me, because she immediately went on the offensive.

“What are y’all looking at?” Akari roared at the kids staring through the windows. “Mind your business, extras!”

“That really wasn’t necessary, Kari.” I said.

“Don’t worry about it. It was starting to get on my nerves anyways,” she said as she climbed into the car, slamming the door shut behind her. 

The ride to the funeral was dead silent. I wasn’t in the mood to make empty conversation, and Akari was chewing on the skin of her lips. I guess my mother’s death affected her more than I thought. After all, she looked up to her as a role model and wanted to be a hero like her. I spent the majority of the ride staring at the gray skies. I comforted myself, believing that the world itself was saddened by my mother’s passing.

The car pulled into the gates of a grand church. It was the biggest one in America, complete with the standard spires of Victorian architecture. I was told that this would be a funeral on the same scale as the ones hosted for world leaders. In fact, many of the major world leaders would be in attendance.

When we arrived at the site, I was greeted by Akari's father. The 3rd ranked hero worldwide was a giant, towering over Akari, who happened to be extremely tall for a twelve year old. I returned his greeting with a sad smile.

My mask of a smile quickly dropped as I noticed my father was nowhere to be seen. I quickly looked around for him, thinking that he might be brooding on the rooftop. My eyes danced between the pillars and spires of the church, but found no traces of my father. I scowled as I asked Uncle Akaza where he was.

“Your old man…” he began, before trailing off. “He had to fly to Canada because of an accident. Something involving Novaflare’s kids being kidnapped. Something like this could escalate into an international incident if not resolved quickly, and you know how your dad gets when there’s kids at risk, right?”

“So his own wife is less important to him than his rival’s family?” I roared. “That’s it?”

“You know his motto better than anyone, Atlas. I’m sorry, but if he wasn’t like this he never would have risen to the top as fast as he did.” Akaza said solemnly. “For what it’s worth, he begged me to tell you that he would be back before the end of the funeral.”

A pit formed at the bottom of my stomach. I bit my lip angrily, disgusted with myself for being so furious at my father. I knew better than anyone that a life he could save was a life he couldn’t ignore. Such was the motto of the fastest man alive.

“It’s fine. I understand.” I said, staring at the floor as I wiped my tears with my sleeve.

“It’s okay to cry if you need to, Atlas. You don’t need to bear the world’s burdens, you know?” Bloodborne said to me. “You’re still so young, I can’t imagine what this must be like for you.”

“Thank you, Uncle. I’ve already cried enough. Mother would want me looking forward. I couldn’t face her if I spent any more time being sad.” I said with a smile. “I’m going to carry her portrait with a smile, just as I promised her.”

The rest of the funeral was a blur to me. Many of the world’s most powerful figures came to pay their respects in front of the casket, and when they all finished, I led the procession while carrying my mother’s portrait. It was taken years ago, when her hair still shimmered with the colors of the rainbow, before the Origin Disease stole its luster as it ravaged her body. It was so unfair.

As I carried the portrait in the rain created by heroes with the ability to control the weather, I cursed the god who gave humanity gifts. What kind of sick, twisted god would give people gifts so powerful that it required too much energy to sustain? I bit my lip in anger, trying to keep my tears from spilling. By the end of the funeral, I was thankful for the artificial rain that hid my tears. 

“Everyone’s left already. Do you need more time with your mom?” Akari asked me.

I nodded my head without a word, unable to speak without the risk of bursting into tears in front of her.

“I’ll let your old man know. See you back at the academy, yeah?” 

I ran up to her and pulled her into a tight hug. My hand reached out to her with an outstretched pinky finger. A signal to make a promise. 

“Yeah, see you later.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth.