PROLOGUE

IS IT WRONG TO TRY TO PICK UP GIRLS IN A DUNGEON?

Is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?

You know, an endless labyrinth divided into multiple floors and filled with scary monsters?

Expectation:

Join a group of fearless adventurers seeking wealth and fame. Go off to battle as soon as guild registration is complete.

Meet a beautiful girl and protect her from an onslaught of monsters with only a sword in my hand.

The air fills with her echoing screams, the monsters’ roars, and the clash of my sword as we face certain death.

In the end, all that remains is her sitting on the floor beside my cool, heroic self standing over the remains of all the monsters I slew.

Her cheeks blush as she looks upon me with beautiful, sparkling eyes. Love is about to bloom.

Then sometimes I’d go to the local watering hole to boast about my day’s adventures to the cute barmaids, make some new allies.

Sometimes I’d protect a young elfess from a few of my more barbaric comrades.

Sometimes I’d help a struggling Amazonian warrior by letting her join my party.

Sometimes I might be seen getting friendly with other girls, causing some drama and jealousy.

Sometimes this, sometimes that, sometimes…

I want to grow up a bit, become the kind of hero men dream about in tales of adventure.

I want to be more than friends with cute girls.

I want to meet the ladies of all the different races.

Isn’t having these slightly corrupt and naïve thoughts part of being a young man?

Is trying to meet girls in a dungeon, no…a harem, really that wrong?

Conclusion:

I was wrong.

“Urrrroooooarrrrrrr!!!!”

“Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee?!!”

I’m about to die courtesy of these slightly corrupt and naïve thoughts.

Basically, I’m being chased by the bull-headed man-beast, the Minotaur.

I’m going to be devoured by a monster that my measly Level One attacks can’t even scratch.

I’m dead. So, so dead.

Where did my dumb, despicable delusions get me? To the Minotaur’s dinner plate, that’s where. I’m such an idiot…

I was stupid to think I was destined to find my dream girl in a dungeon.

Striking gold in here—the golden locks of a beautiful maiden, that is—was nothing more than a hopeless fantasy.

Come to think of it, I was doomed the moment I decided to look for my dream girl in a dungeon where hundreds of adventurers die every day.

Ahh, what would I give to go back in time? To go back to that moment when I came of age and registered at the guild, eyes sparkling, and punch myself in the face. That would be so nice…

But that’s not possible, physically or otherwise.

“Uughunnnnn!”

“Daaahhh!”

The Minotaur’s hoof comes crashing down behind me.

Ha-ha! It missed! Eh? When did that crack get there?

Not the most graceful face-plant…Here comes that hoof again! Roll! Now!

“Hoo-hooo…!”

“Waaahhhhhhhh!!!!”

All I can do now is scoot my sorry butt back.

All the cute girls would laugh for sure if they saw me like this. From the start, guess I never had what it takes to be a beloved hero.

My back hits the wall. Now there really is nowhere to run.

I sprinted all that way, hall after hall, just to get trapped in a wide, square room. And now I’m cornered.

This really is the end…I think to myself, my teeth chattering and tears rolling down my cheeks.

The Minotaur’s nose is so close, its putrid breath pounding my skin.

I look up at its ridiculously muscular body. It has to be at least twice my size. What’s worse, it’s gloating over me with a clumsy, broken smile.

In the end, I didn’t meet any girls at all. The same fantasies that got me in this mess are running through my head for the last time. Oh look, the Minotaur’s hoof is above my head…

The next moment, a line shoots across the creature’s torso.

“Huh??”

“Uoohhhh??”

Sounds like he’s just as confused as I am…

The line doesn’t stop there. It travels through thick pectoral muscles, across the raised leg, up the thigh, to the shoulders, and finally out the Minotaur’s neck.

Now a silver light is shining through…

And so it was that a monster I couldn’t scratch was cut into slabs of meat.

“Guu…?? GWWAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa!!!!”

Its dying roar of surprise and pain echoes through the chamber.

The beast’s body falls to pieces along the dissection incisions, as if the seams of an overstuffed doll all burst at once. Its dark red “stuffing” sprays out like a fountain.

Time stands still as a tsunami of beast blood washes over me.

“Are you…okay?”

That’s when I see a young girl, no…goddess emerge from behind what’s left of the bull monster.

Her thin body is decorated with light blue clothing.

Even in armor, she radiates feminine beauty.

She stands tall, despite her petite frame. Her bulging twins are packed tightly into a breastplate engraved with a silver emblem. The same emblem graces her wrists and blood-soaked saber. She points the glistening blade downward, the blood dripping harmlessly to the floor.

The blond hair hanging down to her waist shines so brightly, I could swear it’s made of real gold.

Atop a body that any woman would call delicate perches the face of a sweet, young girl.

She looks down upon me with golden eyes.

…Ah!

A female warrior with golden eyes and hair, clad in light blue raiment.

Even a Level One newbie like me knows who’s standing there.

There’s no mistaking Loki Familia’s Aiz Wallenstein.

Everyone knows she’s achieved the highest rank among human, no…all female races, Level Five.

“Umm…are you sure you’re okay?”

No, I’m not okay.

Definitely not okay.

My heart feels like it could explode and fall to pieces any second. That is not “okay.”

My cheeks blush as I gaze upon her with sparkling doe eyes. Love is about to bloom…no, love is erupting within me.

My soul is gone, it’s hers now.

Is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?

After further review:

I was not wrong.

WORLD, REALITY, AND DESIRE

“Miiiiisssssssssssssss Eina!!!!!!!!!”

“Hm?”

Eina Tulle, a receptionist for the “guild” that manages all dungeon activities, looked up from the book she held loosely in one hand.

Her long, pointed ears twitched as her transparent emerald eyes tore themselves away from the pages. Her mid-length brown hair shone in the early afternoon sunlight. Despite her good looks, she was not quite as “perfect” as the elves. It was as if her beauty had been glued on, but a corner was sticking up. The guild uniform, black jacket and pants, suited her thin frame very well.

Known as the young Miss Congeniality within the guild, Eina was half human, half elf.

Adventurers were usually out in a dungeon at this time of day, so Eina had decided to read to pass the time. She responded quickly to the voice that had called her name.

He made it back safely again today…

What had it been, two weeks?

Since this bright-eyed kid came in to register with the guild?

It had fallen on her to become this fourteen-year-old’s dungeon adviser and coach.

He was an adventurer, a job that anyone, regardless of age or gender, could secure. But so many people died doing it. He was still a child, and she hated sending him into such a dangerous place.

The only reason she worried for the boy’s, Bell Cranell’s, safety was that he was in her charge. She smiled, happy to hear his voice and relieved that he had returned safely.

She hurried to fix her glasses and straighten her clothes before he came through the door.

“MMMMMIIIISSSSSSSSSSS EINA!!!!!!!”

Someone covered in black blood flew into the guild?!?! Is that him?!?!

“EEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!”

“Tell me everything you know about Aiz Wallenstein, please!!!!”

***

“You know, Bell, after getting covered in blood, you should at least take a shower before coming in here…”

“Sorry about that…”

I can only hang my head and listen as she speaks.

We are in a small room set up in the lobby of Guild headquarters. Sitting in chairs across from each other, there’s only a table between us.

I’m clean at this point, but that doesn’t stop her from making an overly dramatic sigh.

“I can’t believe you walked through the city as such a revolting mess! It makes me question your sanity.”

“B…but…”

Hearing someone as pretty as Eina say something that harsh so directly cuts really deep. Tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes.

Eina cracks a painful smile and gently pushes my nose with her finger. “Be careful next time, okay?” she asks, giving me a big smile. I nod up and down as fast as I can.

“So, you wanted information on Aiz Wallenstein, yes? Can I ask why?”

“Well, about that…”

I tell her everything about what had just happened, my face getting redder with every word.

I start with how I decided to go from the lower second floor of the dungeon, my usual route, down to the lower fifth.

And then about how I encountered a Minotaur the moment I arrived.

Even about trying to run away and getting cornered.

Then being saved from certain death by the Sword Princess, Aiz Wallenstein.

Finally, I tell her how I tried to say “thank you” and reach up to shake her hand, but my whole body was shaking. I suddenly got shy and really nervous. All the blood drained from my face in the blink of an eye. In the end, I ran back to headquarters at full speed.

Eina is nice enough to lend me her ears, but her face gets more and more frightening with each passing detail.

“Aaahh, why don’t you ever listen to me?!? You are alone, solo, in the Dungeon! You can’t just suddenly go that deep without any preparation! How many times have I told you that adventurers shouldn’t go on adventures?!?”

“Y-yes ma’am…”

—Adventurers shouldn’t go on adventures—

That’s Eina’s motto. It may sound like one heck of a contradiction, but she’s really saying, “Get some insurance and safety first.”

Seems like newbies like me really need to take her words to heart. I heard most adventurers who die in the dungeon are newbies, too.

No one could have guessed that an encounter with a category Level Two monster like the Minotaur would have happened on the lower fifth floor of the Dungeon.

Everyone knows that Minotaurs only show up on the lower fifteenth floor or lower. I can hear Eina’s words now: “No telling what will happen in a dungeon.”