Hmm, so I read your work. It has quite a few mistakes and formatting errors. Try reading some good novels, then begin your career. Work Hard! Improve Yourself!
Thanks for the advice but I want to start from the scratch, meaning that I want to write like normal and I want the readers to help me improve by telling me what words should I use instead of other words but I will improve my self with time, i'm just at the door of my career.