August 2013 - Going into Fifth grade

Finn went to visit his family that lived in the Philippines that summer. He absolutely dreaded it. It wasn’t the country itself. In fact, he really liked the Philippines. It was pretty, and the food tasted good. No, his concerns laid in other places.

First of all, he hated airplanes. It was one of the few times he wished he wasn’t so tall. Standing at 4’10” (147 cm) at age 9, and his height being 70% legs, legroom was limited.

But most of all, he despised his cousins. He already felt out of place enough by looking too much like his white father, and nothing like his Filipino mother. On top of that, they pick fun at him for being bad at athletic activities, for his obsession with stuffed toys, and for not talking much.

“Finn? Why don’t you go outside and play with your cousins?” his mother asked from inside the kitchen.

Finn shook his head slightly, keeping his eyes on the 3DS.

His mother sighed. “You can play later, just go outside for now, please” she reasons, putting her hand on his shoulder.

Finn shrugs her hand off, trying to ignore her and pay attention to the game.

“Finn…” she says in a warning tone. He realizes that she won’t let him run away from this, and sighs. He saves the game and hands the device over to her.

Finn reluctantly walked out the back door to see his two cousins playing tennis.

They didn’t notice him come into the yard, so he didn’t announce his presence. As they yelled and played together, Finn stood near the door, watching them with a bored expression.

“Hey! You!” one of them suddenly called out. Finn’s head jerked up with a startled expression on his face.

“Why are you staring so intently at us?” he demanded, poking the racket at Finn’s chest. Finn hadn’t realized he had been staring. He opened his mouth, but before he could get any words out, his arm was grabbed.

“L-let go!” he cried out as he was dragged over near the net.

“Calm, down. We just wanna play with you” as one of them handed him a racket.

They all smiled - sinister and scheming smiles. They moved over to the other side of the net and started serving balls.

Finn’s first reaction was to cover himself from the balls flying towards him. It didn’t stop the impact, however. The balls kept hitting him, leaving red marks all over his arms.

Finn dropped his racket and sprinted back into the house as his cousins’ laughs rang in his ears. He went into his family’s room and locked the door. He lay on the bed in a fetal position, holding the stuffed panda that he won at the carnival to his chest.

Despite being a couple years younger than his cousins, he was the same height as both of them. But at that moment he felt tiny, as if they were towering over him.

I wish Ava was here he thought. Ava didn’t show emotion that easily; she probably wouldn’t outwardly comfort him. But her presence would be nice. He thought of Ava’s monotone voice and oddly passionate rambling of art and smiled a little.

There was knocking at the door. Finn didn’t move.

“Finn, it’s me” his mom called from the other side of the door. Finn sighed at reluctantly got up and unlocked the door.

The look on her face showed that he didn’t have to explain what happened. She sat down on the bed, and he leaned against her as she slowly rubbed his hair.

“I wanna go home” he murmured.

“I know, sweetie. I know” she replied. “Just wait a few more days.”

~~~

For the last remaining days, Finn stayed in his room and played video games. He didn’t look at his cousins as his mother and father said their farewells.

After the uncomfortable trip home, The first thing Finn did was call Ava.

“Welcome home,” she said over the phone.

“Yeah, thanks” he replied. There was a couple seconds of awkward silence as Finn searched for a topic to talk about.

“Did you… enjoy the visit?” Ava asked. Finn shrugged, but then realized she couldn’t see him.

“Not really” he replied.

“Oh. That’s too bad… I guess” she says.

Finn changed the subject. “What did you do over the summer?” he inquired.

“Nothing,” she said curtly.

“That’s it?” he says. She made a noise of confirmation.

“I need to go,” Ava says suddenly.

Finn sighed. “OK. See at school in a few days,” he said right before Ava hung up.

“Finn! Help us unpack!” his dad called from downstairs. Finn sighed again. He was sighing a lot today.

I wanna go to sleep he thought as he slowly went down the stairs.