It’s been three weeks since I started doing the lucid dreaming thing on purpose, and I haven’t managed to find the dream girl a single time.

Since I know her name now — it’s funny, I can only seem to remember it when I’m asleep — I tried asking people, until finally one of them claimed to be her. She looked exactly like one of the women I remember, but I could tell it wasn’t her. Just not the same.

After that none of my dreams even had people in them — just barren fields covered in white mist or featureless, empty buildings. I tried making stuff appear, mostly out of boredom, but it’s really easy to wake yourself up when you do that.

I even tried making her appear, but the best I managed was a sort of mannequin that looked like her, which doesn’t help at all.

You’d think after this long I’d have just gotten over it — I mean, she’s just a dream, however real she seemed. But I just can’t move on for some reason.

This is getting incredibly frustrating.