I’m back. Do I even need to explain why we’re here? I have another story to tell. I’m going to give a warning. This one is going to be gross. If you’re squeamish or you have a weak stomach, I advice you not to read this one. On the bright side, I experience a new monster. This monster was not the scariest, as the Squealer currently holds that spot, but this monster was by far the grossest. Let me start at the beginning.

A few days after my experience with the Squealer itself, things went quiet. Of course, it didn’t remain that way for long. Around the late evening, a woman called us to report that her husband had been in the bathroom for a long time. We had a slight laugh about it because we assumed that maybe he just had a bad day at Taco Bell. Things stopped being funny when she told us that he’d been in there for two hours.

We decided to go over to the house with an ambulance. Ivers speculated that maybe the man had committed suicide. The bathroom door was locked, so we had to use a card to open it. When we opened that door, we saw something much worse than we expected. The bathroom was covered, wall to wall, in blood. Everything was drenched in the crimson liquid. The shower, the sink, and the floor were all completely bloodied. However, the toilet was the worst. The toilet was full to the brim with blood and a few fragments of bone.

One of the accompanying deputies couldn’t handle it, and ran out of the house to vomit. The woman broke down in an emotional wreck. I can’t even describe what went on in that bathroom. I was almost like this man spontaneously exploded in there. This was something that I considered to be truly unexplainable. There were no windows in the bathroom, so I don’t see how the Squealer could’ve gotten in here. I don’t think this was its doing.

All we could honestly do was clean up the bathroom and leave the woman to grieve in peace. There was no way we could figure out what happen to the woman’s husband, but we knew he was most likely dead.

Now, this would be a typical story if I didn’t mention that something happened to me. Well, of course, I discovered what happened to the man. I didn’t find the man, but I believe I found what caused his disappearance.

After my shift, I went home to relax. My head was already sore from the obvious slab of skin that was missing. Keep in mind, I did warn you this story was about to be a bit gross. Here it goes.

I had to take a crap. I went to my bathroom with a magazine for a little entertainment. I blame the smoked salmon I had earlier that day. Naturally, everything seemed to go fine at first. I was just a guy respecting nature’s call. Then, I heard a voice.

“Hey.”

Somehow spoke to me inside the bathroom. I could tell it was coming from inside the bathroom with me, but I couldn’t tell where. This was a one-person bathroom in the comfort of my own home. Did I have ghosts? Then, I heard the voice again.

“I see you there.”

The voice definitely sounded human. It was a deep voice with a slight hiss when it pronounced its S’s. The voice sounded like that of a grumpy old man. I managed to pinpoint the voice coming from my tub drain. I stood up from the toilet and looked over. The voice was definitely coming from my tub drain. Suddenly, the voice moved from the tub to the sink’s drain.

“Follow me.”

The voice spoke again. I put my ear close to the drain hole. I could not only hear the voice, but the sound of something moist slithering through the drain. The voice moved again. This time, I could hear it from the toilet. I hadn’t even flushed the toilet yet, so my feces was still there. Despite it being underwater, the voice came through clearly.

“Down here. Look closer.”

I know that a few of you are probably going to call me stupid, but I bent down over my toilet to get closer to the voice. I know I probably should’ve gotten the hell out of there immediately. As I bent my head towards the toilet, the voice became clearer. The slithering became louder.

“That’s it. Just a little bit closer.” it said.

In an instant, the toilet water exploded out of the toilet along with my feces, one of which hit me in the face. That’s when I could see this thing coming out of my toilet. It looked like some sort of large serpent creature, but at a closer glance, the creature looked like intestine. It looked living intestine.

The creature slithered and pulsated out of the toilet. It moved closer towards me. Its body was so long that I thought it would never end. As far as I know, it never did. The creature spoke one last time.

“I hunger, my boy.” it said.

Suddenly, it lunged at me like a viper. I barely managed to roll out of the path of its razor sharp teeth. The thing didn’t seem to have eyes, but I knew it could somehow see me. This had to be one the Squealer’s creations. I mean, it was a talking system of intestine with teeth. That has Squealer written all over it.

The creature wrapped its cold, wet body around my legs. I managed to get my hands around the thing’s throat, if you can even say it had a throat. The thing violently contorted to free itself from my grasp. I could feel its wet teeth sink into my fingers. In a desperate last attempt for my life, I grabbed the can of air freshener by the sink and shoved it into the creature’s mouth. Its teeth punctured the can, causing it to pop violently. The creature shrieked in pain, smacking its head against the mirror.

Suddenly, it stopped. It calmed down out of nowhere. It slowly starting to crawl its way back into my toilet. It only said one thing before it completely disappeared from my presence.

“I’ll see you again...soon.”

I let out a sigh of relief. I was met with so many emotions. Another creature just tried to kill me. This is definite proof that the Squealer has it out for me, and he will do anything to get me out of the picture. Are all these people being held hostage? Are they being forced to stay in this town by order of this disgusting creature and its posse? It’s like it keeps watch over everyone anyway it can.

I was left that night cleaning up toilet water and my own crap off the floor. I now have a new addition to the list. It took me a while to think of a name for this one.

1. The Squealer

2. Ice Cream Man

3. The Deer

4. Waterworks

I think I’ll call this one Waterworks. It seemed to stick when I thought of it. I wish I could get used to having bloodthirsty creatures come after me, but how can you get used to something like that? I’ll admit, I’m afraid to use my toilet again. I don’t want to take the risk of having my privates bitten off. I’m considering using the bathroom outside from now on. I haven’t heard any speaking coming from the drains since that incident, but I don’t want to take any chances. I know I’m going to die one day, but I don’t want to die from talking intestines coming from the toilet. Unfortunately, that man wasn’t as lucky as I was.

I think I’ll end it here for now. Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to come back if something crawls out of my toilet again. I’m noticing that these occurrences are becoming more and more frequent. I think this is leading up to something bad. If I start going a long time without posting, it’s best to assume I’m dead. I can’t fight off all these creatures. I plan on getting to the bottom of this. This town and these people need my help. They may not say it, but these people are obviously putty in these monsters’ hands.

This is Officer Mason signing off, and the pipes in my kitchen won’t stop rumbling.