Perion pressed the call button of the apartment building where his new boss lived. He was seeing Mortimer in person for the first time!
A camera above him swiveled rustily towards him. "Which resident are you visiting?"
"Uh, could I come in?"
The computer repeated, "Which resident are you visiting?"
Perion promptly replied with, "Mortimer Graves."
"He is not alive at the present moment", the computer said with a horrifying absoluteness.
"Wait, he's not alive? What!" Perion started panicking. He'd talked to Mort yesterday evening, and he'd seemed fine then- he wasn't visibly sick, but then again he could have been secretly suffering...
He felt a tap on his shoulder. A rather plain, small man pushed past him through the door without so much as a bleep from the computer. Perion, realizing that this was his way to enter, kicked the man out of his way and barged past him, and, as a result of his hastiness, was delivered a nasty blow about his head and promptly became unconscious.
And I thought this man wasn't an idiot, thought Mortimer as he dragged his former employee onto the elevator. The computer was broken, and thought that every resident older than 19 years of age was dead for unknown reasons. It was cheaper to not
When Perion awoke, he was on a couch. A very small, thin, uncomfortable couch that smelled too clean. He hated it instantly. He would get this person a new couch if he could.
He looked around the room. There, in front of a monitor, was the short man from before. Maybe he could explain why Perion's head ached dully.
"Hey! Short man! Why does my head hurt?"
Mortimer sighed. Why? Why did tall people need to tell him that he was short? He could see that in the mirror every day, for heaven's sake. It wasn't clever, but tall people did it anyways.
"I whacked you because you kicked me in your haste to enter. You might want to be a little more polite to your future boss. I'd sack you right now for your impudence, but I'm regretfully not because you were the best candidate. So, what have you got to say for yourself, hm? Do you treat other people like that all the time?"
"Uh..." No one had lectured Perion so severely before. Usually, his bosses liked his abrupt, charging method of walking because it got them quicker to the places that his bosses wanted to go. He'd never thought that this new boss wouldn't be any different. He realized, somewhere in him, that he hadn't done the right thing. He'd been a bit too hasty. "Sorry, boss. It won't happen again. I didn't realize that you were my boss, but even if you hadn't, I still shouldn't have crashed past you. Please forgive me!"
Mortimer merely grunted. "Have something to eat, because I have to tell you the plan to release Harius Zarryn from the city holding cells before he's sent somewhere out of our reach. We leave tomorrow afternoon. He's getting antsy." He opened the fridge and handed Perion a ham sandwich. Perion took it.
"Thanks boss for not firing me!" Perion gratefully took the sandwich. "Also, thanks for the ham sandwich! They're my favorite!"
Mortimer covered his ears. "Please don't yell so loudly, please- I just got out of my think machine again, so my senses are still sensitive. Also, that's enough thanking me. You're welcome, ok? Make yourself at home while I set up the projector, ok? You'll need your best order-taking when you do the plan, so I want you in your highest brain capacity."
Mortimer stomped out his annoyance as he went to the projection room. He had to tone it down for the employee, but Perion had already caused him quite a bit of annoyance. Why couldn't interviews tell you whether you had found the right employee?
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